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Clips from Crackerjack

"What are you doing here?"
Crackerjack
"Returning your things."
Crackerjack
"Better all be here!"
Crackerjack
"Alright, alright!"
Crackerjack
"A bit of shush-o, please."
Crackerjack
"I hereby call this meeting to order."
Crackerjack
"Ladies and gentlemen, the queen."
Crackerjack
"The queen."
Crackerjack
"It is with a heavy heart"
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"that I mention our financial situation"
Crackerjack
"as of may 30."
Crackerjack
"In a nutshell, due to dwindling membership"
Crackerjack
"and increased maintenance costs,"
Crackerjack
"our economic situation can best be described as. Dire."
Crackerjack
"All those in favour of calling our economic situation 'dire'?"
Crackerjack
"Thank you, Gwen."
Crackerjack
"The current shortfall stands at..."
Crackerjack
"$7,486.35."
Crackerjack
"Len: If we can't come up with this amount within 30 days,"
Crackerjack
"the club has no choice but to dissolve"
Crackerjack
"and all memberships will be rescinded."
Crackerjack
"Having said that, are there any suggestions?"
Crackerjack
"We could enter a tournament offering some prize money."
Crackerjack
"There's a few around."
Crackerjack
"President len, I'm sure the fundraising committee"
Crackerjack
"will be able to come up with a few ideas."
Crackerjack
"We could have one of those dos"
Crackerjack
"where we come as our favourite decade."
Crackerjack
"We had one of those. Eileen: It was a disaster."
Crackerjack
"Yes, I know. Everyone came as the '50s."
Crackerjack
"Why don't we raise the price of beer?"
Crackerjack
"Hey, fair go, aggie."
Crackerjack
"Order. Order. Order."
Crackerjack
"Um, we could try to get some new young members."
Crackerjack
"Here's an idea."
Crackerjack
"Why don't you ask that nice, young bloke"
Crackerjack
"that climbed in through my bathroom window"
Crackerjack
"and beat me about the noggin?"
Crackerjack
"He'd be fun to have around."
Crackerjack
"Good luck finding one"
Crackerjack
"that isn't plied to the eyeballs on drugs."
Crackerjack
"He can talk. He pops those pills like they're maltesers."
Crackerjack
"Len: We must explore all avenues."
Crackerjack
"I'd rather put pokie machines in."
Crackerjack
"We know that's not going to happen."
Crackerjack
"No, hang on. Excuse me."
Crackerjack
"Didn't you say that all avenues must be explored?"
Crackerjack
"Order! Hang on a minute."
Crackerjack
"What do all you guys think?"
Crackerjack
"The chair does not recognise the speaker."
Crackerjack
"Chair wouldn't know a good idea if it popped up in his porridge."
Crackerjack
"Has he shown you the plans?"
Crackerjack
"This meeting is for members only."
Crackerjack
"You've been warned about harassment."
Crackerjack
"I'll call the police."
Crackerjack
"They only issue a certain number"
Crackerjack
"of poker machine licences."
Crackerjack
"Ring the gaming board and try getting one without me."
Crackerjack
"You'll find that licences for the next five years"
Crackerjack
"have been allocated - to me."
Crackerjack
"Order. I hereby declare this meeting closed."
Crackerjack
"That's where we're putting the carvery -"
Crackerjack
"in through there, folks."
Crackerjack
"Beautiful new carvery. You'll love it."
Crackerjack
"The wheel of cheese."
Crackerjack
"I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen,"
Crackerjack
"there's one more item of business on the agenda -"
Crackerjack
"the, uh, wheel of cheese."
Crackerjack
"Good lord."
Crackerjack
"I move that due to certain liberties"
Crackerjack
"taken by a particular member,"
Crackerjack
"that the daily setting of the wheel of cheese"
Crackerjack
"be temporarily suspended"
Crackerjack
"pending further investigation"
Crackerjack
"by a special sub-committee to be chaired by myself."
Crackerjack
"Woman: Hear, hear."
Crackerjack
"I'll second that notion, Gwen."
Crackerjack
"In the meantime, Jack, what are you gonna do"
Crackerjack
"about getting some young bowlers down the club?"
Crackerjack
"Stand back and watch the master."
Crackerjack
"Mine's closer."
Crackerjack
"Don't know. Calling for a measure."
Crackerjack
"What for? Your dick?"
Crackerjack
"What the hell are you doing? You said we could smoke."
Crackerjack
"Dave, this is a bowls club. You know, old people."
Crackerjack
"Give me that. It's so peaceful."
Crackerjack
"Ease up, son. We say “use the grass” but that's over the top."
Crackerjack
"Jack: Idiot."
Crackerjack
"You'd have this stuff growing in the shed, wouldn't you, mate?"
Crackerjack
"This place would be perfect for a hydroponic setup, hey?"
Crackerjack
"You've got the expertise, the equipment,"
Crackerjack
"chemicals and all that."
Crackerjack
"Oh, please! It's your bowl, Jack."
Crackerjack
"If you've got somewhere cool to store it, you're laughing."
Crackerjack
"You know what you're talking about."
Crackerjack
"Hey, get back to work, buddy."
Crackerjack
"I don't like seeing my fees frittered away on idle chitchat."
Crackerjack
"Chop chop. Woman: Come on. Come on!"
Crackerjack
"Man: Good try, mate. He's bloody hopeless."
Crackerjack
"You're showing a bit, though, love."
Crackerjack
"Give Jack a run for his money."
Crackerjack
"Thank you, Stan."
Crackerjack
"You could bowl with the ladies. Maybe not, Eileen."
Crackerjack
"Don't get me wrong. I like the ladies."
Crackerjack
"The uniform's just not me. Why's that?"
Crackerjack
"The white hat and dress. It's like saying you're old..."
Crackerjack
"Not that there's anything wrong with that, Eileen."
Crackerjack
"You know what I mean. Of course I do, dear."
Crackerjack
"Dave: This is a great game."
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"This is a really great game."
Crackerjack
"Where did it come from, Stan?"
Crackerjack
"Well, son, that's a matter of some debate."
Crackerjack
"The game goes back a long, long time,"
Crackerjack
"long before you and me, that's for sure."
Crackerjack
"In fact, the most memorable game ever played was in 1588"
Crackerjack
"when the great sir Francis Drake"
Crackerjack
"while awaiting the arrival of the Spanish armada."
Crackerjack
"Here we go. This is the real lesson."
Crackerjack
"You spend 80% of your time"
Crackerjack
"standing around listening to old blokes banging on."
Crackerjack
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