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Clips from Crackerjack

"Man: The thrust of what I think"
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"represents an exciting and fantastic opportunity"
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"for this very ancient club."
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"And I think, I might say, you're in this position"
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"because of some very sensible decisions"
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"that you've obviously made in the past."
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"So much of the hard work is done."
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"You've already got your liquor licence,"
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"you've got your car park."
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"You're sitting on what I believe to be"
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"the best bit of blue-chip real estate"
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"available in town."
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"Now, all of this is achievable once we inject some capital."
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"And here, I think, in this package,"
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"you've got the lot, basically."
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"You've got your piano bar there,"
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"you've got your brasserie, you've got your carvery,"
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"you've got a sports bar here with the big screens."
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"You've got an indoor waterfall there in the foyer."
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"Man: What's this room for?"
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"Could be anything. Maybe a conference centre."
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"It's got 172 power points."
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"Has it?"
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"Man: It's for pokies, isn't it?"
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"Obviously that's one option, but..."
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"I don't think we should get too bogged down in the detail."
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"Think about the indoor waterfall."
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"Indoor bloody waterfall?"
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"Song: J you throw me in a pan you cook me in a can"
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"j you stretch me with your hands"
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"j you love to watch me bake you serve me up with cake"
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"j and that's your big mistake"
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"j your guest comes in dressed smart"
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"j you offer a la carte"
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"j you didn't have the heart"
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"jand il... j"
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"woman on radio: I'm disgusted with the government's decision"
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"to set up free heroin clinics."
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"Free heroin for druggies?!"
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"Announcer: Hmm, good point. They're just dirty people..."
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"Window washer: Hey, mate? Hey."
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"Arsehole!"
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"Where'd you learn to drive, you hat... wearing fool?"
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"On horseback?!"
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"You stupid old goat!"
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"Parking officers - chapel street."
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"Parking officers - chapel street."
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"Idiots."
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"You don't think we're overreacting, Eileen?"
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"Something had to go, len."
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"And the ladies insist we keep the urn."
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"There'll be complaints. Just for a change."
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"Well, we're aware of our financial position."
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"What about pennant?"
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"We'll use the fridge in the kitchen, len."
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"What about trifle day?"
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"You've seen the electricity bill?"
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"Oh, well, it probably won't matter this Saturday, anyway."
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"Eh?"
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"Allan called - he's busted his hip."
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"Eileen: Again? Len: Yeah."
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"Poor bugger's in st Vincent's."
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"I'll have a whip-round - organise a fruit platter."
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"The upshot is we can't field a team."
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"There must be someone. Well, I'm blowed if I know."
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"Herb Johnson?"
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"Oh, um, arthritis is playing up."
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"Neville Walker?"
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"Deceased."
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"Albert Jackson?"
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"Albert. Jackson?"
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"Oh, um... moved up to the gold coast."
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"Sid reils?"
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"Oh..."
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"What about Jack Simpson?"
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"Who? Jack Simpson."
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"Says here he's been a member since 1996."
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"Yeah? Who the hell's Jack Simpson?"
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"How does “go fuck yourself' sound?"
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"Come on, Jack. I've had four parking fines this week."
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"And you've got three parks. All I need is one."
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"That's fine, Pete, but what about me"
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"and what about my needs?"
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"Yeah, alright then."
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"I might just join that club and get my own permit."
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"Yeah, good luck."
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"Is Jack Simpson there, please?"
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"Um, I see."
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"Um, thanks, anyway."
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"G'day, Jack."
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"Yeah, yeah, hand it over."
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"There's your permit."
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"Pleasure doing business with you, George."
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"Sorry, my mistake."
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"Silly old coots."
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"Remind me to do something about the car park"
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"at our next general meeting, Eileen."
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"It's supposed to be for members only."
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"Jack: Dave? Man: Mate, great news."
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"Cleaned up the kitchen?"
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"Ah, give me a break. I'm a busy fella."
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"Yeah, right."
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"No, I've just heard your three favourite words, my friend."
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"Both: Snap transport strike."
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"So how much are you gonna charge tomorrow"
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"for the car parks?"
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"Mate, if you have to ask you probably can't afford it."
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"Here it is."
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"Newsreader: Tomorrow's transport strike"
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"set to go ahead following the failure of crisis talks"
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"between the government and the union."
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"Chaos is expected..."
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"Whoa, yeah. You little beauty!"
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"Oh, great. Great."
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"Now, I'm gonna have to go and get changed again."
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"It's like living with Diana Ross."
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"Bingo."
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"Read 'em and weep, pal."
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"Snap transport strike."
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"So get ready to shell out the bickies."
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