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Clips from Crackerjack

"Who?"
Crackerjack
"Len Johnson?"
Crackerjack
"Yeah, he rang here earlier."
Crackerjack
"From the bowling club?"
Crackerjack
"Yes, this is Jack Simpson."
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"Now listen up, old-timer."
Crackerjack
"I have to what?"
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"Saturday?"
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"Or what?"
Crackerjack
"Right, now..."
Crackerjack
"Can I just ask you..."
Crackerjack
"You're taking your medication, aren't you?"
Crackerjack
"Right, and hooroo to you too."
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"Who's len?"
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"Some clown from the bowling club"
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"telling me I have to bowl this Saturday"
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"or forfeit my membership."
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"Lawn bowls?"
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"Fuck a duck."
Crackerjack
"Crikey, Stan, you're tossing pineapples."
Crackerjack
"Just getting them out of the system, len."
Crackerjack
"It's only the roll-up, mate."
Crackerjack
"'Scuse me, len."
Crackerjack
"But you'll be pleased to know that Jack Simpson has arrived."
Crackerjack
"Great. We've got a team."
Crackerjack
"Everybody, meet Jack Simpson."
Crackerjack
"G'day, g'day."
Crackerjack
"There appears to be a bit of a mix-up, young fella."
Crackerjack
"You're telling me."
Crackerjack
"Sorry to muck you about, but I'm afraid we're looking for"
Crackerjack
"the Jack Simpson who's a member of this club."
Crackerjack
"Ah, ah, ah, ah, that's me."
Crackerjack
"I'm a member. Have been since '96."
Crackerjack
"I see."
Crackerjack
"Uh, well, in that case, mr Simpson,"
Crackerjack
"your services will be required this morning."
Crackerjack
"You, my boy, are going for a roll."
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"Great. Couldn't be happier."
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"Alright, young fella."
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"The idea is to get your bowl"
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"as close to this little white one as you can."
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"Right? Yes."
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"And keep the small circle on the inside,"
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"'cause it's gonna curve like buggery."
Crackerjack
"Woman: Swear jar, Stan."
Crackerjack
"Um, it's gonna curve like the billyo."
Crackerjack
"Oh, and remember..."
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"It's a game of skill, touch and Patience."
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"A true revealer of character, son."
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"All that's revealing right now"
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"is two inches of arse crack poking out the top of my pants."
Crackerjack
"Hello, ladies!"
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"Just get on with it, son."
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"These bowls are shithouse."
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"As I said, a true revealer of character."
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"Jack: Can I go now? Len: No, unfortunately."
Crackerjack
"Unbelievable. And this is cool?"
Crackerjack
"Ashtrays at either end."
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"Not sure what that is, but I'm guessing it's not smoko."
Crackerjack
"Lovely sandwiches, ladies."
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"Grouse. Top shelf."
Crackerjack
"You've done it again."
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"They're at genuine 1972 prices."
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"So how long's this been going on, gentlemen?"
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"Well, son..."
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"It's been going a long time."
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"Longer than you and me, that's for sure."
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"In fact, the most memorable game was in 1588"
Crackerjack
"when sir Francis Drake played the famous game"
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"against lord Howard at Plymouth hoe"
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"while awaiting the arrival of the Spanish armada."
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"And you know what, son,"
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"the great man finished the game before sailing into the channel"
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"aboard his man-of-war to vanquish the enemy."
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"He told his men - and this is true, son -"
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"“there's still time to win this game"
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"“and thrash the spaniard too.”"
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"Some people say he lost the game,"
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"but I like to think he won the game and the battle too."
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"Because the great sir Francis Drake didn't know..."
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"The meaning of defeat."
Crackerjack
"Think they're giving you the wind-up, Stan. 'Scuse I."
Crackerjack
"Ladies, this is the best damn trifle I've had bar none."
Crackerjack
"Swear jar, mr Simpson. Swear jar - what's that?"
Crackerjack
"That's the jar you put money in if you say 'fuck'."
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"What's all that about?"
Crackerjack
"That's the highest accolade you can be paid by the skip."
Crackerjack
"Eh, Stan!"
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"Yeah?"
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"Hope you're not having a bad hair day,"
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"'cause I'll have that thing airborne in no time."
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"Woman: Measure."
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"Measure. Grow up, son."
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"Nah, I just wanna be sure. Measure."
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"Len: We don't have one long enough."
Crackerjack
"Good stuff."
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"What do you do for a crust, Jack?"
Crackerjack
"Oh, well, where do I start?"
Crackerjack
"Um... very technical."
Crackerjack
"Modern communications. It."
Crackerjack
"Very high-tech, yeah. Hard to explain to..."
Crackerjack
"Well, you're from a simpler time."
Crackerjack
"Don't want to bamboozle you with the details."
Crackerjack
"Very complex. What about you? What did you used to do?"
Crackerjack
"Run my own business. Good for you."
Crackerjack
"Good for you. Must have fond memories?"
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"I still run it."
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"Good for you."
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"Yeah."
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"Very good."
Crackerjack
"What about you, Stan?"
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"35 years in the Navy."
Crackerjack
"Oh, yeah? Couldn't get out, eh?"
Crackerjack
"I'd, er, dig ditches for a living with the right people."
Crackerjack
"Right, well... My work here's done."
Crackerjack
"Cheers."
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"Noted, love. Noted."
Crackerjack
"And Mark my words, heads will roll."
Crackerjack
"Gee, you look like you need that, mate."
Crackerjack
"Bowling must be thirsty work. Yep."
Crackerjack
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