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Clips from Chef

"Nothing. Just classic bullshit. What is that?"
Chef
"- That's carne asada. Check it out. - Wow."
Chef
"WOW!"
Chef
"- Good? - It's fucking unbelievable, man."
Chef
"- Is it? - Holy shit!"
Chef
"- No, seriously. - No, I'm serious."
Chef
"- Tell me the truth. - I'm telling you the truth."
Chef
"- It's incredible. - Is it good seasoning?"
Chef
"- The seasoning's perfect. - Roll that shit!"
Chef
"Chef Big Dog up all night cooking!"
Chef
"- Come on in, buddy. - Come here."
Chef
"- Tony, check this out. - Shut up and taste this, amuse douche."
Chef
"- Come here. - What we got?"
Chef
"- Wow. - It's good?"
Chef
"Huh? Look at that."
Chef
"- Too much heat? - That's perfect, Chef."
Chef
"- It's good? Seasoning? - Oh, it's perfect."
Chef
"- It's nice and spicy. - You like it?"
Chef
"- Oh, man. - Ha, jefe? Look at that."
Chef
"- I do. - Yeah?"
Chef
"- It's fucking great. - Is it good?"
Chef
"- Don't fuck with me. - But it's so good."
Chef
"- See, jefe? I told you. - It's flavourful as fuck, man."
Chef
"- It's nice, right? - Umm."
Chef
"- Is it good? - Yo, Big Dog, fuck Twitter."
Chef
""Fuck Twitter". Again with the "Fuck Twitter"."
Chef
"Why should I fuck Twitter?"
Chef
"- (CHUCKLES) You're not on Twitter? - No."
Chef
"You're getting too much pussy? Is that the problem?"
Chef
"It's gotta be, right? (LAUGHS)"
Chef
"What does Twitter have to do with pussy?"
Chef
"Have you not heard of the term 'social networking'?"
Chef
"- Yeah. - Well, that's what it is."
Chef
"- It means pussy? - Like, pussy."
Chef
"Or, like, getting tickets to something."
Chef
"- Or finding about a new band. - Flash mobs. That kind of stuff."
Chef
"- Anything that requires a database. - So pussy requires a database?"
Chef
"- BOTH: Yeah! - (SNIGGERS)"
Chef
"So show me what's on Twitter that's so bad that I should see."
Chef
"- Oh, shit, is that gochujang? - Nothing. Nothing."
Chef
"- Damn, you made fucking gochujang? - Yeah, that's under the squab."
Chef
"But he's gonna 86 it. Riva's gonna 86 it, I know."
Chef
"- Yo, this gochujang is good. - Don't worry about fucking Riva."
Chef
"He ain't gonna let you serve that Korean shit."
Chef
"Let me handle him. Don't worry about that. I got it."
Chef
"He says I can cook whatever I want."
Chef
"- Alright. Alright. - We're gonna cook like this."
Chef
"- Did you try that? Oh, hey. - Oh, man."
Chef
"That's broccoli rabe I'anchois. Check this out."
Chef
"This is ridiculous."
Chef
"- What you got over there? - I got..."
Chef
"(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)"
Chef
"(COURTNEY JOHN SINGS 'LUCKY MAN')"
Chef
"(BUTTER SIZZLES)"
Chef
"- Mom cuts off the crust. - Yeah, well, I don't."
Chef
"- (GUNFIRE IN BACKGROUND) - (CRUNCHES)"
Chef
"- it's good. - You bet your ass it's good."
Chef
"Can you turn that down, please?"
Chef
"Oh, sorry."
Chef
"MEN: Arrgh!"
Chef
"You know about Twitter?"
Chef
"- Yeah, I have an account. - Yeah?"
Chef
"- How's it work? - It's cool."
Chef
"It's cool? That's how it works, it's cool?"
Chef
"- You tweet on it. - Is that like texting?"
Chef
"No."
Chef
"- Sign me up. - OK."
Chef
"(CRUNCHES)"
Chef
"So, what do you want your username to be?"
Chef
"Carl."
Chef
"You can't just put Carl. It has to be 'at something'."
Chef
"At Carl Casper."
Chef
"@CarlCasper."
Chef
"- Taken. - Someone took my name?"
Chef
"@ChefCarlCasper? Is that cool?"
Chef
"Yeah, that's good."
Chef
"At... Chef..."
Chef
"...Carl... Casper."
Chef
"So is this for sex?"
Chef
"Eww! Is that what you're doing this for?"
Chef
"No, I'm not doing it for that. Someone wrote something bad."
Chef
"I wanna see what they wrote."
Chef
"Good."
Chef
"Oh, shit."
Chef
"Hey. You can't talk like that."
Chef
"I don't care if Mommy's not around. I don't want you cursing around here."
Chef
"- That review went viral. - What does that mean?"
Chef
"It means it got picked up and re-tweeted everywhere."
Chef
"So all these people have read the review?"
Chef
"- Yeah. - Oh, shit."
Chef
"- I think it's kinda cool. - I don't."
Chef
"- No, I mean, us doing this. - Doing what?"
Chef
"You know, just hanging out."
Chef
"We hang out all the time."
Chef
"No, like, hanging out and doing something."
Chef
"Well, we do things."
Chef
"No, not just, like, watching something or doing something."
Chef
"Like, hanging out and talking."
Chef
"And learning things from each other."
Chef
"I figured, you know, with you living at Mom's house"
Chef
"and me working all the time, when we hung out, you liked to do fun things."
Chef
"I think this is kinda fun. You know, just figuring stuff out."
Chef
"Like when you lived at home."
Chef
"Yeah, I miss that too."
Chef
"Then why don't you move back home?"
Chef
"Percy, I can't just..."
Chef
"You're not the reason that I'm not living at home. You know that, right?"
Chef
"- Mm-hm. - 'Cause it's true."
Chef
"- Then why? - Then why what?"
Chef
"Well, why don't you live home?"
Chef
"Well, Mommy and Daddy, you know,"
Chef
"we... we both grew apart, in different directions."
Chef
"But we're still really good friends."
Chef
"It's just better if we don't live in the same house."
Chef
"- And that we're not married. - Oh."
Chef
"- You understand? - No."
Chef
"- It's hard to explain. - (SIGHS)"
Chef
"Hey, listen, could we twitter each other when we're not in the same place?"
Chef
"- Yeah. - Could you show me how to do that?"
Chef
"Yeah. OK."
Chef
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