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Clips from Chef

"- My culinary hero. - To the team."
Chef
"(READS) "Gauloises - eager to please.""
Chef
"- Whoo! - Yes!"
Chef
""10 years ago, I had the good fortune to dine"
Chef
""at Chef Casper's revelatory Miami bistro, Marrow.""
Chef
"- Miami in the house! - Marrow, baby!"
Chef
"MARTIN: That's your house!"
Chef
""The sheer audacity of this fresh, brave voice of the culinary scene"
Chef
""reminded me why I write about food as a vocation.""
Chef
"- MARTIN: Yeah! (LAUGHS) - That's a lot of pressure."
Chef
""It is nearly impossible to separate my glowing regard for Chef Casper"
Chef
""and how much he inspired me from my expectations as I sat down to dine"
Chef
""at the recently remodelled Brentwood Gallic staple, Gauloises.""
Chef
"- Yeah, this is good! - "Oh, how times have changed."
Chef
""Over the last decade, Carl Casper has somehow managed to transform himself"
Chef
""from the edgiest chef in Miami"
Chef
""to the needy aunt that gives you $5 every time you see her"
Chef
""in hopes that you will like her,"
Chef
""but instead causes you to shrink from her cloying embrace"
Chef
""which threatens to smother you in her saggy, moist cleavage."
Chef
""The signature app,"
Chef
""intended to impress the country club brunch crowd,"
Chef
""is the caviar egg."
Chef
""A shirred egg topped with a dollop of caviar"
Chef
""is an excuse for the chef to overcharge us"
Chef
""for his insecurity and lack of imagination."
Chef
""Carl Casper can best be summed up by the first bite of his needy"
Chef
""and yet by some miracle also irrelevant"
Chef
""chocolate lava cake."
Chef
""Casper didn't even have the courage to undercook the cake,"
Chef
""thus curiously lacking its signature molten centre.""
Chef
"(GRUNTS)"
Chef
""This sad dessert is emblematic"
Chef
""of Carl Casper's disappointing new chapter."
Chef
""His dramatic... weight gain can only be explained"
Chef
""by the fact that he must be eating"
Chef
""all the food sent back to the kitchen.""
Chef
"Two stars."
Chef
"I don't get it. I don't get it."
Chef
"Everyone loved it. He loved it, even."
Chef
"Then Why'd he write all that mean shit about me? About my food?"
Chef
"Who cares? Who cares?"
Chef
"I do. 'Cause I could have done better."
Chef
"I should have cooked the shit I was gonna cook."
Chef
"You're ignoring the fact that everyone was happy"
Chef
"and you're making a problem where there's no problem."
Chef
"It's not hard to make people happy."
Chef
"There's certain things you could put on a menu that'll make everybody happy."
Chef
"If you put ahi tuna on a menu, it will sell out."
Chef
"It's guaranteed. You know that."
Chef
"But I cooked the beef cheek, which is a better dish,"
Chef
"and nobody wants to even try it."
Chef
"- It was good, though. - Yeah, for family meal."
Chef
"Well, who you cooking for, though?"
Chef
"That's my point. Why do I have to pick?"
Chef
"Why do I have to choose? Why can't I have both?"
Chef
"There are chefs that cook food that they believe in"
Chef
"and people will try because they're open to a new experience"
Chef
"and they'll end up liking it."
Chef
"- What do you want me to say to you? - The truth."
Chef
"You want me to tell you that you're the best chef"
Chef
"that I ever worked with."
Chef
"And it's true, because you are."
Chef
"You are, Carl. You are the best chef I've ever worked with."
Chef
"- OK. - I mean it."
Chef
"Well, thank you."
Chef
"You're welcome."
Chef
"- We both agreed not to do that. - I know."
Chef
"Why don't I just cook you something?"
Chef
"Oh, OK. Fuck it. Let's go."
Chef
"('RUDY, A MESSAGE TO YOU' PLAYS)"
Chef
"Mmm!"
Chef
"Mom wants to talk to you."
Chef
"- Inez? - (WOMAN SPEAKS SPANISH)"
Chef
"Inez."
Chef
"(SPEAKS SPANISH)"
Chef
"Are you OK?"
Chef
"I got two stars."
Chef
"Getting two stars is good, right?"
Chef
"I mean, I don't read that shit normally, but, you know,"
Chef
"then he starts writing all this personal shit about me and..."
Chef
"How many people you got working? You got, like, 50 people."
Chef
"And Percy's 10 years old. Does he still need a nanny?"
Chef
"He's in school all day. What does she even do here? Hi, Flora."
Chef
"- Hi, Mr Carl. - I mean, what does he need..."
Chef
"- What's she doing here? - You know that he's hurt, right?"
Chef
"Because I was late? I already apologised to him. We're fine."
Chef
"Late? He waited for you for one hour alone outside."
Chef
"Well, I didn't realise it was that long."
Chef
"It's just... that was the day that..."
Chef
"You're right."
Chef
"I didn't like what they wrote about you."
Chef
"I didn't like it either."
Chef
"It hurt, alright?"
Chef
"You OK?"
Chef
"I'm alright."
Chef
"Good."
Chef
"I'm gonna make it up to him."
Chef
"(KIDS SCREAM)"
Chef
"(MOVIE WEAPONS BLAST)"
Chef
"(TYRES SCREECH)"
Chef
"- That was fun, right? - Yeah."
Chef
"- Where you going? - I gotta work on a menu."
Chef
"It's still early. Can I watch?"
Chef
"Yeah, sorry, it's at work."
Chef
"- I won't get in the way. - Yeah, I gotta go work."
Chef
"- OK. 'Bye. - We'll have fun next week."
Chef
"OK."
Chef
"('I LIKE IT LIKE THAT' BY PETE RODRIGUEZ)"
Chef
"(FAT SIZZLES)"
Chef
"What the hell are you doing here, man? What's this madness, huh?"
Chef
"- This is crazy. - Yeah."
Chef
"- You didn't go home, did you? - No."
Chef
"- Come here. Check it out. - Go home, man."
Chef
"- You've been here all night. Go home. - Come here."
Chef
"Get some sleep. Fuck Twitter. Come on, get outta here."
Chef
""Fuck Twitter"? What are you talking about, "Fuck Twitter"?"
Chef
"I mean, you know, fuck 'em. That's what I mean."
Chef
"- Who reads that shit anyhow? - I'm not on Twitter."
Chef
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Chef
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