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Clips from The Monkees - Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers (S01E01)

"Forget it. I've got another plan."
The Monkees
"Oh yeah, you got another plan. What are you planning this time, a famine?"
The Monkees
"Not bad baby. This time you're gonna get your hand prints in cement..."
The Monkees
"...like all the other celebrities in front of the Chinese Theater."
The Monkees
"Beautiful? Beautiful baby, huh?"
The Monkees
"Fellas, I had to pay for the sidewalk. Now fun is fun."
The Monkees
"I'm sorry Mr. Trump."
The Monkees
"Careful, I may never play the guitar again!"
The Monkees
"But you're the drummer."
The Monkees
"Oh, that's right. Okay, go ahead."
The Monkees
"Thanks a lot."
The Monkees
"Now, I'm warning ya. I'm giving you one last chance."
The Monkees
"One more foul up and I drop you."
The Monkees
"Yes sir."
The Monkees
"Ow! [ Cracks knuckles ] Thanks."
The Monkees
"You ever been, uh, kidnapped?"
The Monkees
"Uh, no. Any of you guys?"
The Monkees
"I was kidnapped as a kid once, but my family was so poor..."
The Monkees
"...that they gave the ransom note to the neighbors. Ha ha ha."
The Monkees
"Hey, kidnapping. What kind Mr. Trump?"
The Monkees
"A really front page affair sweetheart."
The Monkees
"Of course, you won't really be kidnapped."
The Monkees
"You just be held till moments before the contest."
The Monkees
"No man. I'm sorry. A kidnapping..."
The Monkees
"Contest rules. Rules!"
The Monkees
"Well man. I don't know."
The Monkees
"Look, I'll tell you what you do. Think it over."
The Monkees
"Kidnapping man."
The Monkees
"I promise. If this doesn't work, we forget the whole thing."
The Monkees
"Talk it over."
The Monkees
"Go ahead. Go, go."
The Monkees
"[ Chatter ]"
The Monkees
"Well, okay then."
The Monkees
"Great! Beautiful. Beautiful!"
The Monkees
"Great. I know just who to get. Two active clients of mine."
The Monkees
"They play great hoods. You'll love 'em."
The Monkees
"[ Phone ringing ]"
The Monkees
"Oh, hello Trump."
The Monkees
"What's that?"
The Monkees
"A kidnap?"
The Monkees
"How many in the party?"
The Monkees
"Four? Oh, I couldn't touch it for under a thousand a piece."
The Monkees
"Who are you calling a thief?"
The Monkees
"Excuse me? Three fifty a... That's unheard of. What ya say?"
The Monkees
"Three sixty? You've got yourself a deal."
The Monkees
"Alright. Goodbye, goodbye."
The Monkees
"Well baby, it's all set. They're gonna be here in about an hour."
The Monkees
"Well, how should we dress for this thing. Is it formal?"
The Monkees
"Of course. Dress, dress."
The Monkees
"Black or white tie?"
The Monkees
"For a daytime kidnapping, black tie."
The Monkees
"Hey, what about the newspaper man?"
The Monkees
"They wear business suits."
The Monkees
"No, are you sure they're gonna cover this?"
The Monkees
"Believe me baby, by tonight, you boys are gonna be all over the front page."
The Monkees
"You're gonna be celebrities. Celebrities!"
The Monkees
"I'm gonna be a star."
The Monkees
"Well, I guess we better go get dressed for the kidnapping."
The Monkees
"No Peter."
The Monkees
"No Peter."
The Monkees
"Yes Peter."
The Monkees
"You know, it's getting late man. I wish Davy'd come home."
The Monkees
"Never mind Davy. Where's Trump's actors? They should be here by now man."
The Monkees
"There's one thing I can't stand, it's late kidnappers."
The Monkees
"Right. Mike, why don't ya call them?"
The Monkees
"What do ya call 'em?"
The Monkees
"I should just walk over to the telephone, pick it up, and not even dial."
The Monkees
"All I gotta do is say 'Hello'?"
The Monkees
"Hello, Ikansteen and Error, Kidnappers."
The Monkees
"Hello, this is Mr. Nesmith. Say are the kidnappers in?"
The Monkees
"No, I'm sorry, the kidnappers are out right now."
The Monkees
"This is their answering service."
The Monkees
"Yeah, well look, we're suppose to be kidnapped today."
The Monkees
"Oh yes Mr. Nesmith. Two o'clock kidnapping. I have it right here in the schedule."
The Monkees
"Well, I'm sorry. The kidnappers are very behind schedule."
The Monkees
"You see, this is our busy season, just before the holidays."
The Monkees
"Oh well, then maybe we ought to wait till after the holidays."
The Monkees
"No, I'm afraid that won't do."
The Monkees
"You see, after the holidays, they're very busy with exchanges."
The Monkees
"Oh, okay."
The Monkees
"We wait."
The Monkees
"Okay, you dirty rats. Drop everything and reach for the sky."
The Monkees
"Isn't this thirteen thirty four Beachwood?"
The Monkees
"No, this is fourteen forty four. Thirteen thirty four is down the road a bit."
The Monkees
"We're terribly sorry to bother you."
The Monkees
"Oh, no bother at all."
The Monkees
"Say goodbye George."
The Monkees
"Goodbye."
The Monkees
"Bye, bye."
The Monkees
"Such a nice young man. We should have asked him to stay for tea."
The Monkees
"[ Knock on door ]"
The Monkees
"Oh, excuse me. Is this thirteen thirty four Beachwood?"
The Monkees
"- Right. - Thank you young man."
The Monkees
"Okay, you dirty rats. Drop everything and reach for the sky."
The Monkees
"George, what is this? This is no person. This is a dummy."
The Monkees
"Oh yeah, I thought he had a kind of stupid wooden expression."
The Monkees
"Not that dummy, dummy. This dummy."
The Monkees
"Never mind. Where's the fourth kid?"
The Monkees
"I'll find out Horace. Okay you guys,"
The Monkees
"I want some straight answers and I want 'em fast."
The Monkees
"Where's your buddy?"
The Monkees
"Okay, if you won't tell, I'll...!"
The Monkees
"George, maybe if you took off their gags."
The Monkees
"Oh yeah."
The Monkees
"Davy's with a girlfriend at the Vincent Van Go-Go."
The Monkees
"Go, let's go pick him up. Go ahead."
The Monkees
"Horace, I can't do those crazy dances."
The Monkees
"There's nothing to it. It's just rhythm. Now watch me."
The Monkees
"A one, a two, a three, one, two, three."
The Monkees
"Rhythm. Try it, try it."
The Monkees
"One, two..."
The Monkees
"Beautiful."
The Monkees
"Davy Jones?"
The Monkees
"Excuse me sonny. Are you Davy Jones?"
The Monkees
"Yeah, that's right."
The Monkees
"You're coming with me buster."
The Monkees
"Oh, you must be the actor Mr. Trump sent."
The Monkees
"I'm warning you. You better come peaceful like."
The Monkees
"I'll tell you what. Wait till the end of this song."
The Monkees
"Why don't you stick around. Try looking inconspicuous."
The Monkees
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