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Clips from Scrubs - My Mentor (S01E01)

"The human brain is remarkable."
Scrubs
"For nine years I thought I'd lost my watch"
Scrubs
"cos I can't remember which wrist it's on."
Scrubs
"And yet, after two weeks,"
Scrubs
"the things that scared me at first, catheters, chest tubes, IVs..."
Scrubs
"Everything has started to click."
Scrubs
"Are you? If you have time to listen to music,"
Scrubs
"then I assume you have time to finish your paperwork."
Scrubs
"Keep moving."
Scrubs
"That work day started like every other."
Scrubs
"- How's it goin'? - I'm a 37-year-old janitor."
Scrubs
"How d'you think it's going?"
Scrubs
"There is nothing wrong with being a janitor."
Scrubs
"Really? Thank you, you've turned my life around."
Scrubs
"I'll tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living."
Scrubs
"And that comes straight from our hero, Dr Whozits, Dr Nothing."
Scrubs
"No, seriously, come on."
Scrubs
"Come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap."
Scrubs
"Luckily, I had the night off to regroup."
Scrubs
"- That dog is creepy. - Be nice to Rowdy."
Scrubs
"The guy we bought him from kept him in a box full of old hats."
Scrubs
"Why is she here all the time?"
Scrubs
"- Just give her a chance, man. - You want to hit that."
Scrubs
"- No! - Yeah!"
Scrubs
"She's just a friend."
Scrubs
"It's healthy, hanging out with a girl without the ultimate goal being sex."
Scrubs
"- You know? - I'm not following."
Scrubs
"Creepy. I had a run-in with that nurse, Carla."
Scrubs
"She forgot to check the stats on a patient and gave me attitude."
Scrubs
"Did you tell on her?"
Scrubs
"- Who's responsible for this? - She is."
Scrubs
"I don't remember. Why do you assume it was my fault?"
Scrubs
"It'd be a good point, except Elliot puts her foot in her mouth."
Scrubs
"A lot. She can't really seem to stop."
Scrubs
"Just because I occasionally say something stupid doesn't mean"
Scrubs
"I go door-to-door annoying people, like some crazed Jehovah's Witness."
Scrubs
"- You're not? - No."
Scrubs
"My mother is."
Scrubs
"He's black, too. You should tease him about that."
Scrubs
"I'm doing better with new people. Like Carla, for instance."
Scrubs
"Bambi, that blonde stick you hang out with? Tell her..."
Scrubs
"You might have to write that down for me."
Scrubs
"And Dr Cox. We've really connected. I'm kind of like his protÈgÈ."
Scrubs
"- I need to see his chart... - Done, copied and highlighted."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, radar, I'm fresh out of gold stars."
Scrubs
"Multilobar pneumonia at 31. How much does he smoke?"
Scrubs
"I don't know."
Scrubs
"It's your attention to detail that impresses me most."
Scrubs
"- How many packs a day, genius? - Half a pack."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. I phrased the question wrong."
Scrubs
"How many packs a day, really?"
Scrubs
"Eleven."
Scrubs
"You don't know where I'm coming from."
Scrubs
"Two or three packs."
Scrubs
"Let's hear it."
Scrubs
"I don't smoke so... Zero packs."
Scrubs
"What tests have you ordered?"
Scrubs
"I was just... I was totally kidding with you."
Scrubs
"He was. We're all in on it."
Scrubs
"I like Will. That makes this harder."
Scrubs
"I ordered blood cultures and a high-resolution CT."
Scrubs
"What are you looking for?"
Scrubs
"Cancer."
Scrubs
"When you say ''cancer, '' every person reacts the same way."
Scrubs
"- Excellent. - Not like that."
Scrubs
"There it is."
Scrubs
"I never know what to say to Turk's buddies. But I'm getting better."
Scrubs
"So..."
Scrubs
"- How's surgery? - It rocks."
Scrubs
"But my bedroom, that's where I really operate. Am I right?"
Scrubs
"- Come on, show Todd some love! - I hate showing Todd love."
Scrubs
"Bambi, why are you slumming with these scalpel jocks?"
Scrubs
"Please, baby. This here's the VIP table."
Scrubs
"Why don't you sit your fine self down?"
Scrubs
"''Baby, this here's the VIP table...''"
Scrubs
"I'm not really interested in her."
Scrubs
"Then the Todd'll show that little biscuit some love."
Scrubs
"Maybe he's a bit interested."
Scrubs
"Fine. Todd'll show himself some love."
Scrubs
"I'm going to ask Carla out."
Scrubs
"- I think the janitor's out to get me. - Thank you so much for your help."
Scrubs
"Why not be a bit more paranoid?"
Scrubs
"- Wait, Turk... - That's him."
Scrubs
"Hi, how are you?"
Scrubs
"I need David Farr's chart."
Scrubs
"We all need lots of things."
Scrubs
"Great. Dr Kelso? You're the Chief of Medicine."
Scrubs
"Is there a special way to communicate with nursing staff?"
Scrubs
"Sugar won't work. They're already so sweet."
Scrubs
"Now, listen, Dr Whatever-the-hell-your-name-is,"
Scrubs
"you tattled yesterday, I responded."
Scrubs
"I feel closer to you than ever. But the ramifications are yours."
Scrubs
"Don't drag me into your pathetic, whiny, little squabble"
Scrubs
"with that bunch of malcontents. I hope you all kill each other."
Scrubs
"Have a great day, ladies."
Scrubs
"I hate this place."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox, I got Will's CT results back."
Scrubs
"No cancer. So what shall I tell him?"
Scrubs
"I'd open with that."
Scrubs
"He's headed down such a bad road, maybe we could talk to him..."
Scrubs
"When you have a mentor, you understand the meaning behind their words."
Scrubs
"- You do whatever you want. - Means ''Great idea''."
Scrubs
"I'm just happy you haven't messed up yet today."
Scrubs
"Means ''You're really coming along as a doctor''."
Scrubs
"- Don't ever touch me. - Means ''Don't ever touch him''."
Scrubs
"Just thought it was a nice moment."
Scrubs
"- I don't wanna. - Come on."
Scrubs
"Carla, I shouldn't have told Dr Kelso on you."
Scrubs
"No, you shouldn't have."
Scrubs
"Comfortable silences."
Scrubs
"But thank you for apologising."
Scrubs
"Good."
Scrubs
"- I wanna make one thing clear. - Nothing needs to be clear."
Scrubs
"I still think you were in the wrong."
Scrubs
"Checking orthostatics is your job. I need to know you'll take care of it."
Scrubs
"That's all I'm saying."
Scrubs
"There. All better."
Scrubs
"As of now, you have no signs of cancer."
Scrubs
"Who rules? Will rules."
Scrubs
"This isn't great news."
Scrubs
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