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Clips from The Goldbergs - Weird Al (S03E03)

"Hi, Mrs. Goldberg."
The Goldbergs
"Dana."
The Goldbergs
"I brought you some coffee beans from Seattle."
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"Aw. That is so thoughtful for someone who drinks coffee."
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"I don't. I'm a tea drinker."
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"You've known me for two years,"
The Goldbergs
"but thanks for the partial gift, Dana."
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"That's very sweet. (CHUCKLES)"
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"Adam, Dana brought me a bag of beans!"
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"Dana Eleanor Caldwell, are you ready for the greatest,"
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"most romantic weekend of your life?"
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"(GIGGLES) In this box,"
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"I've prepared our greatest hits,"
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"and we're gonna tackle each one."
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"Laser tag, ALF marathon,"
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"Super Mario Bros.,"
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"pogo ball."
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"You in? Um, sure, it's been a while."
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"Come on! Pogo balling is just like riding a bike."
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"Oh! We should also ride bikes."
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"Classic us. (GIGGLES)"
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"ADULT ADAM: But to our surprise,"
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"our greatest hits suddenly felt like misses."
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"Pogoing on a ball is fun."
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"Well, it's kind of hard in these jellies."
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"But they're cute, right?"
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"Yeah, they're shoes."
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"We were off to a slow start,"
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"but a romantic Beefaroni dinner would change that."
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"Is it me, or did your tree house get smaller?"
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"No. Same size."
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"Guess it's us who got bigger."
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"You want an Ecto Cooler?"
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"Chef Boyardee himself recommends it with the beef."
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"Yeah, I'm just gonna grab a Perrier."
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"(THUDS)"
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"Balls!"
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"Maybe I should spend a little time with my grandma."
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"No, wait!"
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"I actually have a big surprise for you."
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"You and me are going to our first rock concert together!"
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"No way! Who is it?"
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"Only the greatest artist of our time."
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"Madonna? Better!"
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"The Police? Better!"
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"Michael Jackson? Well, he's worked with all three,"
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"but in a way, he's improved their work"
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"by making it super funny!"
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"(GASPS) Weird Al Yankovic!"
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"The guy who sings about food."
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"Sure, some songs are about food, like Eat it, Lasagna,"
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"I love rocky road, and My bologna."
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"But he also sings about love and life and hernias!"
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"I didn't realize you were still into him."
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"And the best part..."
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"I got us Al shirts to wear to the concert."
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"Ladies' choice. (CHUCKLES)"
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"But if I were a lady,"
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"I'd want to see my man in a jungle tiger pattern."
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"Rawr!"
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"As I was planning our big date,"
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"Erica helped Naked Rob make a big breakthrough."
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"I can't thank you enough for all the help with my dad."
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"I really think we turned a corner."
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"That's my job, Naked Robert. I'm here for you."
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"So great to have someone I can trust and--"
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"How dare you! What?"
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"Healing my nutjob friends behind my back?"
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"You're not legally authorized for that."
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"Only I am! Not anymore, pal."
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"Mr. Glascott asked me, and you know what?"
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"It feels awesome to actually help people."
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"Unlike you, who just leaves behind a wake of broken souls."
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"All you did was charm Naked Rob with your feminine wiles."
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"If it was anyone else, I'd totally out-counsel you."
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"It's adorable you think that."
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"Then I challenge you to a counsel-off."
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"Name anyone."
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"First one to fix that person's brain"
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"is crowned champion adviser."
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"First of all, not a word,"
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"and second, when you lose, you quit."
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"Same goes for you, sucker."
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"Go ahead. Pick anybody."
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"The more depressed, the better."
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"Do you even know what the signs of depression actually are?"
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"Of course!"
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"I just need you to say them so you can understand them better."
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"(SIGHS) Fine. Number one, fatigue."
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"Will you two stop yapping? I'm exhausted from a hard day."
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"Number two, lethargy."
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"(GROANING) Oh, so far."
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"Number three, irritability."
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"I told you two morons, put the remote in the side pocket!"
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"Four, persistent aches and pains."
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"(GROANS) Oh, now I hurt my back from stretching!"
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"Five, mood swings."
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"Eh, Love Boat's on!"
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"And finally, sudden exhaustion."
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"(SNORING)"
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"BOTH: Dad!"
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"All right, first one to fix that man's"
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"crippling depression wins."
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"This is gonna be really hard."
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"(SNORING)"
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"ADULT ADAM: As Erica and Barry were playing therapist,"
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"Dana and I were playing Mario Bros.,"
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"but even though we were on the same side,"
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"we felt miles apart."
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"Hey, snuggle bunny, and also Dana."
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"Gear up, we're gonna leave in five minutes."
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"Even though we all agree"
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"Adam should be taking me to his first comedy concert."
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"The good news is Adam will be all yours soon enough."
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"What do you mean? Look at how they're playing "super immigrant plumbers.""
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"Their thumbs are in it, but their hearts aren't."
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"No way. Adam and Dana are as solid as ever."
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"Did you see them pogo ball?"
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"That's a sport for lovers,"
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"and they were just going through the motions."
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