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Clips from Single Drunk Female - I'm Sorry, But... (S01E01)

"So, help me understand."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Uh, the state can just show up"
Single Drunk Female
"whenever they please? You people don't think"
Single Drunk Female
"anyone's living a life?"
Single Drunk Female
"Ma'am, I got a lot of houses to get to."
Single Drunk Female
"Can I just see a gas bill?"
Single Drunk Female
"(whispering): Okay. You can come in."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I have guests. ‐Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Mm. That's nice."
Single Drunk Female
"I got to pee, got to pee, got to pee..."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, hey. Hi!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hey. ‐I'm Bob."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm Gail."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hi, Gail. ‐Just waiting for Ms. Fink."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, okay, well, we got a book club going if you'd like"
Single Drunk Female
"‐to snag a snack while you wait. ‐Oh, my God, thank you..."
Single Drunk Female
"You... Actually, she asked me to wait here,"
Single Drunk Female
"and I have a policy of not"
Single Drunk Female
"snooping around white folks' house without their permission."
Single Drunk Female
"(laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"I have the same policy."
Single Drunk Female
"But Carol would be so upset if I was"
Single Drunk Female
"the only one who ate these snacks."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Come on in, come on in. ‐Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐The cream puffs are to die for. ‐Oh, okay. Wait,"
Single Drunk Female
"‐now, do you have a Lactaid? 'Cause I'm‐a need it. ‐I can find you one."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Thank you. ‐Everybody, this is Gail."
Single Drunk Female
"ALL: Hi."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm just for the gas bill, quick and painless."
Single Drunk Female
"Well... there's a spot right here."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Come, sit down. ‐Welcome."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah, come. ‐Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm gonna go to the bathr... ‐Can I speak to you"
Single Drunk Female
"‐in the kitchen for a minute? ‐Sure."
Single Drunk Female
"GAIL: I don't know what I'm doing here,"
Single Drunk Female
"but I never turn down a charcuterie."
Single Drunk Female
"What are you doing? That's Sam's probation officer."
Single Drunk Female
"She's a delight. She fits right in."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't need book club discussing"
Single Drunk Female
"Sam's weird relationship with alcohol."
Single Drunk Female
"If you're ever gonna discuss it, this is the place."
Single Drunk Female
"These are your friends."
Single Drunk Female
"They're my book club."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, then, in that case, why's it matter?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know. I don't know."
Single Drunk Female
"I just wanted to have a place"
Single Drunk Female
"where I could sit and talk with smart people about books"
Single Drunk Female
"and take a little vacation from thinking about Samantha"
Single Drunk Female
"all the time."
Single Drunk Female
"All right. I get that. I get it."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay? And you are not alone in this."
Single Drunk Female
"All right?"
Single Drunk Female
"We're all far from perfect."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"I really got to pee."
Single Drunk Female
"(indistinct chatter)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐What do you want? ‐Listen, I'm try..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm just... I'm really trying to take this sobriety"
Single Drunk Female
"more seriously this time, and I..."
Single Drunk Female
"I owe you an amends."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, okay, yeah, right now. Here we go."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, right. So..."
Single Drunk Female
"so, you were there, uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"when I couldn't be, when my dad was sick,"
Single Drunk Female
"and I‐I really appreciate that."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, no problem."
Single Drunk Female
"I was happy to help."
Single Drunk Female
"And, um..."
Single Drunk Female
"...also, New York. New York."
Single Drunk Female
"I‐I'm so sorry that I ghosted you"
Single Drunk Female
"when you came to visit me in New York."
Single Drunk Female
"That was so messed‐up. I mean..."
Single Drunk Female
"But, to be fair, you were dating my ex"
Single Drunk Female
"and treating me like shit at the time, and..."
Single Drunk Female
"Anyway, uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, speaking of that. I'm really sorry"
Single Drunk Female
"about all those texts that I sent you"
Single Drunk Female
"when I found out about you guys."
Single Drunk Female
"It was, like, way too aggressive."
Single Drunk Female
"And, you know, women shouldn't"
Single Drunk Female
"go after other women and just leave the guy out of it,"
Single Drunk Female
"but you were my best friend, so that was like,"
Single Drunk Female
""Is she serious?" Uh... anyway, uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"also really sorry about that time"
Single Drunk Female
"I puked on all the coats and the bags at that party"
Single Drunk Female
"‐and then blamed it on you, ‐On me."
Single Drunk Female
"‐but... ‐But, but, right. Um, Sam..."
Single Drunk Female
"Sorry, I'm just... I'm, like, really trying to apologize."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, but this‐this isn't an apology."
Single Drunk Female
"Apologies don't have "buts." Sam, I just..."
Single Drunk Female
"I really needed today. I have worked"
Single Drunk Female
"72 hours straight."
Single Drunk Female
"I've pulled 38 items out of body crevices."
Single Drunk Female
"I am always covered in bodily fluid. I..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Ugh. That's what you do? ‐Oh, my God!"
Single Drunk Female
"Sam! You never listen to me."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, sorry. I'm sorry. Can we j‐can we just start over?"
Single Drunk Female
"Why? Why do you care if I forgive you?"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know. It feels..."
Single Drunk Female
"important."
Single Drunk Female
"What the hell?"
Single Drunk Female
"Is Brit bothering you again?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐What'd you say to her? ‐Oh, my God,"
Single Drunk Female
"Felicia, stop with the mafia act."
Single Drunk Female
"Wait, where's my kid?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, he's with Joel. I just..."
Single Drunk Female
"I needed to talk to her for a second."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Why? ‐It's my birthday."
Single Drunk Female
"Mm, you would be a Pisces."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, so that's the reason you dragged us here."
Single Drunk Female
"‐No, uh, that's not the only reason... ‐No, you didn't"
Single Drunk Female
"want to hang out with me and Zack, you just needed a ride"
Single Drunk Female
"because you can't drive a car and you threw up"
Single Drunk Female
"in so many Lyfts that you have a 1.8 rating. (scoffs)"
Single Drunk Female
"You made me drive all the way to Roller Land so you could"
Single Drunk Female
"chat with the girl who's marrying your ex."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(scoffs) I'm done. Honestly, Sam. ‐Felicia."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Zack. Zack! ‐Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"I waited 25 minutes in line to get you a corn dog"
Single Drunk Female
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