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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer's Phobia (S08E08)

"Mmm, I don't think he's married, Homer."
The Simpsons
"Oh, a swingin' bachelor, eh?"
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"Well, there's lots of foxy ladies out there."
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"Homer, didn'tJohn seem a little... festive to you?"
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"Couldn't agree more. Happy as a clam."
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"- He prefers the company of men. - Who doesn't?"
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"Homer, listen carefully. John is a homo-"
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"- Right. - sexual."
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"[ Screams ]"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I danced with a gay."
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"Marge, Lisa, promise me you won't tell anyone. Promise me!"
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"- You're being ridiculous. - Am I, Marge? Am I?"
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"Think of the property values."
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"Now we can never say only straight people have been in this house."
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"I'm very sorry you feel that way..."
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"becauseJohn invited us all out for a drive today, and we're going."
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"Whoa-ho-ho! Not me!"
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"And not becauseJohn's gay, but because he's a sneak."
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"He should at least have the good taste to mince around..."
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"and let everyone know that he's... that way."
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"What on earth are you talking about?"
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"You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud..."
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"and my homosexuals flaming.!"
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"[♪ Car horn playing Over The Rainbow ♪]"
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"- Zap! - [ Gasps ]"
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"Homer, at least come out and say hello."
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"- No. No, no. No. Oh, no. - Oh, come on."
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"You liked John this morning."
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"No. I'm not setting foot outside this house until that man is gone."
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"Oh, Dad, you are the living end."
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"Hey, where'd that cool, creepy Santa come from?"
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"Japan. Except over there they call him Annual Gift Man,'' and he lives on the moon."
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"And that's where Kent Brockman was caught cheating in the Springfield Marathon."
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"- Ooh! - Whoa!"
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"And there's where Lupe Velez bought the toilet she drowned in."
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"- Ooh! - Whoa!"
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"That was a killer tour, man."
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"I never realized how many celebrities..."
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"humiliated themselves right in our own backyard."
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"This is a sordid little burg, isn't it?"
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"Makes me sick in a wonderful, wonderful way."
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"-John. - [ Shudders ]"
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"Waylon. I'd like you to meet the Simpsons."
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"I know the Simpsons."
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"[ Lowered Voice ] So this is your sick mother?"
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"Don't do this to me, Waylon."
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"[ Laughing ]"
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"How'd it go? Tell me everything that happened."
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"- He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he? - Oh, geez Louise!"
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"You don't even know what you're worried about anymore."
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"John's a witty, urbane person."
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"Oh, and I'm not?"
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"Hey, Dad, look what I got. Zap!"
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"Zap.! Zap.! Zap.!"
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"Bart! Where'd you get that shirt?"
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"- I don't know. Came out of the closet. - Uh... huh."
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"I hope you all saved room..."
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"because I made your favorite dessert."
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"Store-bought snack cakes- both kinds."
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"Hmm. Hmm."
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"- Hmm- Hmm. - [ Gasps ] Grr!"
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"[ Homer Babbling ]"
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"[ Babbling Continues ]"
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"Homie, I can hear you chewing on your pillow. What's wrong?"
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"[ Spits ] Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt!"
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"- So? - There's only two kinds of guys who wear those shirts-"
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"gay guys and big fat party animals."
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"And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me."
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"So if you wore a Hawaiian shirt, it wouldn't be gay?"
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"Right. Thank you."
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"I hope you realize this is all your fault."
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"I mean, do you have to be so effeminate around the boy?"
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"Homer, I don't think there's a problem with Bart."
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"But if there is, it's probably because you're not spending any time with him."
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"Good night."
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"- ## [ Humming ] -## [ Woman Singing ]"
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"All right, boy, come on. Today we're gonna- [ Screams ]"
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"## [ Continues ]"
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"- Gonna what, Homer? - [ Record Needle Scratches ]"
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"And Helen Lovejoy- Sure, she looks blonde..."
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"but I've heard cuffs and collar don't match, if you get my drift."
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"I don't, but I loved hearing it."
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"You.! I should have known."
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"- Good morning, sunshine. - Homer,John brought us cactus candy."
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"Look,John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all."
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"Just stay the hell away from my family!"
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"Well, now you don't get any candy."
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"No, that's cruel. Take a teensy piece."
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"- No. - Homer, what have you got against gays?"
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"You know! It's- It's not usual."
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"If there was a law, it would be against it."
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"Oh, Homer, please. You're embarrassing yourself."
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"No, I'm not, Marge."
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"They're embarrassing me. They're embarrassing America."
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"They turned the navy into a floating joke."
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"They ruined all our best names, like Bruce and Lance and Julian."
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"Those were the toughest names we had."
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"Now they're just, uh-"
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"- Queer? - Yeah, and that's another thing."
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"I resent you people using that word."
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"That's our word for making fun of you!"
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"We need it!"
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"Well, I'm taking back our word, and I'm taking back my son."
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"Don't worry, boy. We're gonna set you straight."
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"By tomorrow morning, you'll be a regular Burt Reynolds."
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"What are you talking about, Homer? Where are we going?"
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"Just a couple of good old-fashioned manly places, father and son."
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"[ Thinking ] You're leaving the arm there too long. You want to make it worse?"
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"[ Gasps ] No, no. He'll know you're on to him. Quick- shake his hand."
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"Just remember, Son- whatever happens, I'll always love you."
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"[ Thinking ] As? As?"
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"As a father. A father. Regular father. Whew."
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"- What am I supposed to do here? - Nothing.Just sit. I'll be back."
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"Well, it's been two hours. How do you feel?"
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"I don't know. I kind of want a cigarette."
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"That's a good start. Let's get you a pack. What's your brand?"
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"- Anything slim. - [ Shouts ]"
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"Okay, that didn't work. But I know something that will."
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"[ Machinery Clanging ]"
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"Bart, I want you to shake hands with- What's your name, fella?"
The Simpsons
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