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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer's Phobia (S08E08)

"## [ Chorus Singing ]"
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"[ Tires Screeching ]"
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"D'oh! [ Screams ]"
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"- [ Shouting ] - [ Boy ] Come on! Come on!"
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"All right. Everybody got their ticket?"
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"Then get ready for today's Super Barto jackpot drawing."
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"[ Machine Whirring ]"
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"- Come on, canteloupe! - And round and round she-"
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"- [ Machine Sputtering ] - Uh-oh."
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"[ Buzzes ]"
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"[ All Screaming ]"
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"- [ Explosion ] - [ All Screaming ]"
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"No refunds. Force majeure. Read the back of your ticket."
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"Oh! $900?"
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"Well, we'll have to dip into the retirement fund again."
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"[ Homer Sighs ]"
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"[ Grunts, Shouts Indistinctly ]"
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"[ Coins Rattling ]"
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"[ Groaning ]"
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"Ah, nuts. Hello? China?"
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"A little help?"
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"Well, I never thought it would come to this..."
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"but I guess we'll have to sell..."
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"Grandma's Civil War doll."
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"Oh, Mom, are you sure you want to sell..."
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"a family heirloom to pay the gas bill?"
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"I mean, what would your grandma say?"
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"I'm sure she'd be proud that her descendants had piping hot tap water..."
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"and plenty of warm, dry underwear."
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"That is so true."
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"Hmm. These campaign buttons are all partisan."
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"Don't you have any neutral ones?"
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"May the better man win''-"
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"Let's have a good, clean election''- that sort of thing?"
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"Uh, no, but we do have some old shirt buttons. They're kind of kooky and fun."
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"Missy, you just talked yourself right out of a sale."
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"Hey, Lise, check it out- pogo stilts."
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"These were banned in all 50 states."
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"- [ Thud ] - [ Homer Screams ] Oh.! What happened?"
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"Wow. An actual robot from the movie Clank, Clank, You're Dead."
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"[ Groans ] Think of how awful it would be for the poor midget inside."
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"Aw, boo-hoo. That's what they get paid for."
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"[ Gasps ] Homer, look!"
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"Look. A TV Guide owned byJackie O."
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"Oh, you should see the crossword puzzle."
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"She thought that Mindy lived with Mark."
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"- Give her a break! Her husband was killed! - Oh, I know. Wasn't that awful?"
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"Hi. I'm John. Can I help you with anything?"
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"Yes. I have something that I'd like to sell."
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"- Please tell me it's your hair. - [ Chuckles ] No."
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"It's an heirloom my grandmother passed down to me-"
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"a very rare old figurine from the Civil War."
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"Please don't construe our ownership of this..."
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"- as an endorsement of slavery. - Hmm."
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"Well, see, here's the thing on this."
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"It's a Johnny Reb bottle, early 1 97 0s."
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"One of the J&R Whiskey Liquor Lads."
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"Two books of green stamps, if I'm not mistaken."
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"Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no. No, no."
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"It's a very, very old figurine."
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"No, it's a liquor bottle."
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"See?"
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"Ahh! That'll make your bull run."
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"Hmm. Well..."
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"I guess it'll always be a monument to Grandma's secret drinking problem."
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"Okay. So maybe that thing's a hunk of junk."
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"But look at what you're selling."
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"Fifty bucks for a toy? No kid is worth that."
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"Oh, but this is the Rex Mars Atomic Discombobulator."
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"Don't you just love the graphics on this box?"
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"No. How can you love a box or a toy or graphics?"
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"- You're a grown man. - It's camp!"
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"The tragically ludicrous? The ludicrously tragic?"
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"Oh, yeah. Like when a clown dies."
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"Well, sort of. But I mean more like inflatable furniture..."
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"or Last Supper TV trays, or even this bowling shirt."
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"Can you believe somebody gave this to Goodwill?"
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"- And that kind of stuff is worth money? - Boy howdy!"
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"Man. You should come over to our place."
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"It's full of valuable worthless crap."
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"Well, if you're inviting me over."
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"I practically insist. Shall we say 5:00? The snacking hour?"
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"My heart is palpitating. Hoo-hoo!"
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"Pimiento nose, and voilà-"
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"Mommy's patented happy cracker snack platter."
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"[ Doorbell Rings ]"
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"-[ Doorbell Rings ] - Ding-dong."
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"Classic. I mean, that says it all, doesn't it?"
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"Oh, man. You weren't kidding about this place."
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"- Well, I just love it. - Do I know you?"
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"Oh, the color scheme and the rabbit ears."
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"And the 2.3 children. I mean, where's the Hi-C?"
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"- Hi-C and Fluffernutters. - Oh!"
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"And pearls on a little girl."
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"It's a fairy tale."
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"[ Babbles ]"
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"Oh, I've got the exact same curtains, only in my bathroom."
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"Didn't you just die when you found these?"
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"Not really. They just had corn on them."
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"Kitchen, corn."
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"- Oh! - [ Laughs ]"
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"- Ha! - Ow!"
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"- Why, you little- - [ Sputters ] Dad!"
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"- I'll teach you to- - Dad! Company! Company!"
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"Oh. I'll just be another minute,John."
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"- Have a seat. - [ Sputtering ]"
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"So, do those records have camp value?"
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"Everything here does. You yourself are worth a bundle, Homer."
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"Why, I could wrap a bow around you and slap on a price tag."
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"- [ Laughs ] - ## [ Woman Singing ]"
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"Come on, Homer.Join the party."
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"- ## [ Continues ] - Mom,John loves Itchy and Scratchy as much as we do."
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"Maybe more."
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"Yeah. And he collects toy robots."
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"He is quite a charmer. Your father's certainly taken a shine to him."
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"- ## [ Continues ] - Oh! Homer, you are the living end."
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"- [ Laughs ] - [ Laughs ] Oh!"
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"ThatJohn is the greatest guy in the world."
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"We got to have him and his wife over for drinks sometime."
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