Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Wife (S05E05)

"The flyboy. Where's George?"
Seinfeld
"- I thought he was with you. - He didn't show up."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, this guy gave me..."
Seinfeld
"...an open-lip kiss."
Seinfeld
"- So? - So?"
Seinfeld
"We've always just kind of pecked."
Seinfeld
"This one had a different dynamic."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Yeah. I mean..."
Seinfeld
"His upper lip landed flush on my upper lip..."
Seinfeld
"...but his lower lip landed well below my rim."
Seinfeld
"- Moisture? - Yeah. Definite moisture."
Seinfeld
"- That's an open-lip kiss, all right. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I think he's giving me a big signal."
Seinfeld
"Maybe he wants to change our relationship."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- It's George. - Hey, what happened to you?"
Seinfeld
"Nothing. A little problem."
Seinfeld
"What was it? I mean, I was waiting."
Seinfeld
"Can I come upstairs, please?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe he wants to ask me out."
Seinfeld
"Why are you interested? He's a jerk."
Seinfeld
"Because he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, so? - I respect that."
Seinfeld
"What happened?"
Seinfeld
"Nothing, I said it was a little problem."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, what was it?"
Seinfeld
"I was in the locker room showering, and I..."
Seinfeld
"- ...I had to go, so- - Here we go."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me."
Seinfeld
"He even gave me a dirty look."
Seinfeld
"You went..."
Seinfeld
"...in the shower?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, so what?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not the only one."
Seinfeld
"- Do you go in the shower? - No, never."
Seinfeld
"- Do you? - I take baths."
Seinfeld
"What was I supposed to do?"
Seinfeld
"Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe..."
Seinfeld
"...go to the other end, come all the way back?"
Seinfeld
"Did you ever hear of holding it in?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no. That's very bad for the kidneys."
Seinfeld
"- How do you know? - Medical journals."
Seinfeld
"Do the medical journals mention anything..."
Seinfeld
"...about standing in a pool of someone else's urine?"
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, hi, honey. - What are you doing here?"
Seinfeld
"I just thought I'd drop off a few things."
Seinfeld
"I must have been in the incinerator room when you left."
Seinfeld
"Here you go, Marty."
Seinfeld
"Another quilt?"
Seinfeld
"- Jerry. - Uncle Leo."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"If you or your wife want to drop by on Wednesday-"
Seinfeld
"Your wife?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"My wife."
Seinfeld
"What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"I got married."
Seinfeld
"You got married?"
Seinfeld
"I wasn't invited?"
Seinfeld
"Nobody sends me an invitation?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it was sudden."
Seinfeld
"Are you ashamed of your uncle? Do I embarrass you?"
Seinfeld
"No, no. It was a small ceremony."
Seinfeld
"Haven't I always been the good uncle?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, yes, you have."
Seinfeld
"Who told you when you went to school that you print well?"
Seinfeld
"You did."
Seinfeld
"When he was younger, he had a beautiful penmanship."
Seinfeld
"I used to encourage him to print."
Seinfeld
"- I'm a good printer. - I remember your "V.""
Seinfeld
"It was like a perfect triangle."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, there's my bus. - There you go."
Seinfeld
"- Hello! Wait! - Uncle Leo. Uncle-"
Seinfeld
"I'm glad you're here. This can get really boring."
Seinfeld
"You know where I can get some good olives?"
Seinfeld
"- I can find out. - Would you?"
Seinfeld
"Sure."
Seinfeld
"Oh, a project. That's a definite signal."
Seinfeld
"By the way, you look really great in that leotard."
Seinfeld
"Thanks."
Seinfeld
"That's no signal. Who wouldn't like me in this leotard?"
Seinfeld
"I look amazing in this leotard."
Seinfeld
"It's weird. I think I had a dream about you last night."
Seinfeld
"Okay, he open-lips me, he dreams about me..."
Seinfeld
"...we have an olive project, that's it. I'm asking this guy out."
Seinfeld
"- You know, Greg- - Can I have a sip of water?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, sure. - Thanks."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. What were you saying? - It was nothing. Forget it."
Seinfeld
"See that guy right there?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. You mean him? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I caught him urinating in the shower."
Seinfeld
"I'm thinking about turning him in too."
Seinfeld
"Honey, could you get me something to drink?"
Seinfeld
"- You're right there. - Come on, I'm sitting."
Seinfeld
"Honey, what did you do with the can opener?"
Seinfeld
"- I didn't do anything with it. - It's not here. It was here yesterday."
Seinfeld
"- It's in the first drawer. - I'm looking in the first drawer."
Seinfeld
"- It's not here. - Yes, it is."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I'm not stupid."
Seinfeld
"I'm looking in that drawer. There's no can opener."
Seinfeld
"- Did I say you were stupid? - Well, wouldn't I have to be?"
Seinfeld
"You tell me there's a can opener in the drawer..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm looking, there's no can opener."
Seinfeld
"What other conclusion could one reach?"
Seinfeld
"- You want me to go find it? - Yes, I do."
Seinfeld
"You show me where there's a can opener in that drawer."
Seinfeld
"Hello. I'm sorry. I'm just fighting with my wife."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, we just heard. What's going on?"
Seinfeld
"Why didn't you tell us?"
Seinfeld
"- Listen, Mom- - It was in here yesterday."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. That's what I said."
Seinfeld
"Who is she? When did this happened?"
Seinfeld
"I told her you'd get married."
Seinfeld
"She thought you'd never do it."
Seinfeld
"- Morty, you're talking too loud. - I'm not."
Seinfeld
"- You're hurting my eardrum. - You must've done something with it."
Seinfeld
"I'm on the phone."
Seinfeld
"Is she there? Can we talk to her? What's her name?"
Seinfeld
Show more clips