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Clips from This Fool - Sandy Says (S01E01)

"[snoring]"
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"- Hey, what the fuck? - Wake your ass up."
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"I'm leading group hug this week."
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"Come on, hurry up. We're gonna be late."
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"- Alright. Damn!"
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"- Hey, dawg, you finished your GED homework?"
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"LUIS: Nah."
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"- What you mean nah? You gotta stay on top of that shit."
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"I don't wanna write you up."
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"- Come on, you never write me up."
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"- Hey, bitch, I'm in charge now."
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"Don't test me."
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"[grunts] Fuckin' idiot."
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"- Hey, come on, we're gonna be late."
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"Why you playin' around and fighting, huh?"
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"- Let go! Let go!"
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"♪ theme music playing ♪"
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"♪"
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"♪"
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"- Back in the days, it was more innocent."
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"Just me at the computer, public library,"
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"waiting 20 minutes for a damn titty to load."
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"But now,"
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"my porn addiction is outta control."
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"[both sigh]"
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"I even jacked off in the computer lab here,"
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"which I'm truly ashamed of."
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"Bro, what have I become?"
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"- [Luis snickers] Damn."
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"This fool's horny!"
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"- Luis, shut up."
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"Randy, please continue."
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"- Basically, every time I try to have sex,"
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"my dick is like wet spaghetti."
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"[snickers]"
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"I'd rather watch porn than have sex with my own wife."
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"Now, she even thinking about leaving me."
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"CANDI: It's okay."
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"- Hey, hey, Randy, you know, that's real sad and all,"
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"and no disrespect, homey, but..."
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"[imitates Austin Powers] does porn make you randy, baby?"
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"Nah, nah, nah, wait, wait."
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"[imitates Austin Powers] Does porn make you randy, Randy?"
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"You get it? Austin Powers!"
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"- You know what? Let's wrap it up there."
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"Come on, everybody. Let's bring it in."
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"Let's get a group hug going."
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"- Hey, no, I'm not, I'm not huggin' this fool."
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"He probably has a boner right now."
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"Nah, I'm just playin', he can't even keep it hard."
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"- Okay, come on. Just ignore him. He's an idiot."
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"I'll handle it, Randy."
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"Luis, hold up."
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"You gotta start taking this shit seriously."
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"- This shit is corny, especially with you in charge."
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"You know what they say:"
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"Laughter's the best Tylenol."
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"- Don't you mean best medicine?"
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"- Is Tylenol medicine?"
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"- Yeah. - Well, then I think I got it right."
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"- Dawg, you're the only one laughing at your dumb-ass jokes."
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"Austin Powers is an old-ass movie."
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"You gotta update your references, playboy."
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"- Hey, pendejo, Austin Powers is timeless."
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"- All you do is quote movies."
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"That's what unfunny people do."
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"- Fuck you."
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"I'm fuckin' funny. - No, you're not."
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"And you've never been funny."
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"And you never will be."
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"♪"
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"- We'll see about that."
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"♪"
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"- So I'm thinking about getting my face tattoos removed."
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"But it's a tough decision because--"
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"I don't know who I am without my tattoos."
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"I'm scared I'd be killing a part of myself."
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"LUIS: [imitating Austin Powers] Does that make you randy, Candi?"
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"[Luis laughing]"
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"- Dawg, what the fuck?"
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"LUIS: [imitating Austin Powers] I said, does that make you randy, Candi?"
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"I know it makes you randy, Randy."
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"Why aren't you fools laughin'?"
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"I'm just trying to make group hug"
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"[imitating Austin Powers] more groovy, baby."
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"CANDI: Why the fuck are you quoting Austin Powers"
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"while wearing a fuckin' dinosaur costume?"
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"- Do I have to explain everything to you fools?"
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"Look, it's simple, alright?"
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"I wanted to make you fools laugh, so I went to Party City."
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"I asked him if he had any Austin Powers costumes."
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"I couldn't find any, I said, "Do you have any in the back?""
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"He said, "No." I said, "What else you got?""
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"He goes, "I got dinosaur costumes.""
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"And I said, "That's perfect!""
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"'Cause comedy's all about the element of surprise."
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"And that fool got the joke and he was nice as fuck."
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"And he gave me a discount."
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"- Cut the shit, dawg."
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"Nobody thinks you're funny."
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"- Yes, they do. Stop hating!"
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"- Hey, my G. You got some serious psychological issues."
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"- Yeah, this ain't it, Luis."
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"- Sit your ass down! [Luis scoffs]"
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"- Alright then, whatever."
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"You fools don't like comedy, then fuck it."
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"- Somebody help him, please."
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"You're always disrupting the group with your bullshit."
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"And you know what? Everybody here is tired of it."
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"FABIAN: We're all here for you, dawg."
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"But I personally think you need a trained mental health professional."
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"JULIO: Whatever you got going on,"
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"we can't even begin to address here."
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"- You should go see Sandy."
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"CANDI: Oh, yeah!"
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"He definitely needs to go see Sandy."
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"- Who the fuck is Sandy?"
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"JULIO: She's our volunteer psychologist."
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"And you know what? She's great."
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"And you could really benefit from therapy."
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