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Clips from The Goldbergs - Wingmom (S03E03)

"ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,"
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"we all wanted to be a badass fighter pilot"
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"thanks to the cinematic masterpiece that was 'Top Gun,'"
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"and no one loved it more than my big bro."
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"You're handsome and clear for takeoff."
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"Yeah, he was a real Maverick."
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"His fighter jet was our beat-up station wagon,"
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"and his co-pilot, my annoyed sister."
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"Dear God, you have been flipping knobs for five minutes!"
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"Just go already."
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"We ain't going anywhere"
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"till tower clears us for takeoff."
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"You're clear."
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"(ENGINE TURNS OVER)"
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"(TIRES SCREECH) ADULT ADAM: But as fate would have it,"
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"my brother's high-flying dreams"
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"were about to become a reality."
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"(GASPS) Great Goose's ghost."
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"Today, our lives change forever, boys."
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"Behold."
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"Junior ROTC."
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"That's like pre-pre- military training."
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"Dude, I think they give you free camo when you sign up."
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"Sweet. Now I can hide from my mean cousin"
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"when we visit my uncle's farm."
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"Morning, gentlemen."
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"Interested in joining up with Junior ROTC?"
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"I need able-bodied leaders with fire in their bellies"
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"looking to make a difference."
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"That's so weird."
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"I'm an able-bodied person with a fiery belly"
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"who's ready to fly your jets and push your envelopes"
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"and play shirtless beach volleyball."
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"What? It's proven to be a nice diversion"
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"from the pressures of flight school."
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"What's your name, son?"
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"Barry Norman Goldberg, nickname not yet decided."
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"You will be amazed by our strength and determination, sir!"
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"(BELL RINGS) (SIGHS)"
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"I've got English on the third floor."
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"So many stairs."
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"Naked Rob, piggyback."
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"You got it, bro. Never leave a man behind."
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
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"¶ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say"
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"¶ I don't know the future"
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"¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was November 22, 1980-something,"
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"and I was spending the day with my loyal best bud, Pops."
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"Your mom was nuts to take away my license."
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"Look at me go!"
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"(ENGINE REVS)"
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"ADULT ADAM: Despite his age, my grandpa was the youngest dude I knew."
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"Winner! Balls!"
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"You want to go hustle some suckers at air hockey?"
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"I'm old with a wallet full of cash."
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"How do I play this ice ping-pong?"
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"(LAUGHS) After we hustled some kids in air hockey,"
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"Pops set his sights on our next target."
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"Whoa, whoa. Look at this."
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"Free movie tickets."
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"What do you say we play a couple more chumps?"
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"Mom says to be weary of timeshare people."
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"They're the gypsies of the mall."
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"All we got to d o is listen to them jabber for a half-hour"
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"and then see Mad Max Thunderdome on their dime."
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"Sign me up."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"Howdy, folks. And welcome."
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"I'm John Calabasas,"
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"the president and CEO of John Calabasas' timeshares."
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"Thank you very much. That's very kind."
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"Oh, stop. Thank you so much."
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"Folks, who would like to live in the condo of their dreams?"
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"For two months out of the year."
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"I'm talking about timeshares, y'all."
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"Question. Yes, sir."
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"If we decide not to buy today,"
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"do we still get the movie tickets?"
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"That's the deal, but I can promise you this, sir,"
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"at the end of today,"
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"you're not gonna be thinking about movie tickets."
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"You're gonna be thinking about"
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"Boca Sands Resort and Tennis Club."
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"I'm intrigued about this exciting opportunity."
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"Movie tickets all locked up."
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"ADULT ADAM: So began an epic speech"
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"designed to pull in old suckers."
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"Lucky for me, Pops was young at heart."
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"Complete with sauna and recently disinfected steam room."
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"The best overly air-conditioned chain restaurants"
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"that open for dinner at 3:00 PM."
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"Not only is it sunny year-round in our community,"
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"the women outnumber the gentlemen three to one."
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"Sold!"
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"Oh, my God."
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"Pops actually bought a place in Florida?"
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"Right? It's a nightmare."
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"Hello? We're gonna have our own beach condo."
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"Think of all the spring breaks,"
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"the Latin guys,"
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"the romantic walks on the beach with the Latin guys."
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"Why do I come to you?"
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"You need to chill. It's a timeshare."
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"He'll be gone two months a year."
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"Everyone knows a timeshare is a gateway property."
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"Two months becomes six."
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"Six become a year."
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"And a year turns into forever."
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"So? Pops is old, and that's what all old people do."
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"Stop saying that. Pops isn't old."
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"He's 80."
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"Who cares? I measure age in spirit."
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"Well, I measure age by when you were born."
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"And for Pops, that's 1903."
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"Holy crap. Seriously? Oh, yeah."
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"Shut up! Everyone, shut up!"
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"I got Barry news."
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