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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Look Me Up Sometime (S01E01)

"All right, so most ballpark hot dogs"
Single Drunk Female
"are either steamed or grilled,"
Single Drunk Female
"but Boston Bangers are boiled first,"
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"and then they are grilled."
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"That way, you preserve the juiciness."
Single Drunk Female
"Looks delicious."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, that's the beauty of a Banger, baby."
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"(chuckles) Mmm."
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"All right, all right, small tent."
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"-Can I get one of these things, or what? -Oh, yep, Sam. Here you go."
Single Drunk Female
"-Incoming. -Thank you."
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"Looks pretty good for something cooked in a parking lot."
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"-So you're having a good time? -Uh, yeah, yeah, I think so."
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"-I'm having a good time, too. -Nice."
Single Drunk Female
"-Mm-hmm. -Yeah."
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"Olivia keeps telling me to be more present."
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"And I, uh, think it's working."
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"She's kind of the best sponsor you can get."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, she's very cool."
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"Although... I did read Eminem is a sponsor,"
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"and he might be just a little bit cooler."
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"BOB: Ah, look at you two,"
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"getting along. (chuckles)"
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"-Okay, you just made it weird. -Yeah, stop being so weird, Bob."
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"-Also, this needs mustard. -Oh, yes, condiments, flying in."
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"-(booing) -Yeah, go home, Yankee!"
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"Yeah, okay, okay, hi, yeah, yeah."
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"Hey, where are your heels, Carrie Bradshaw?"
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"Where's your tutu?"
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"No."
Single Drunk Female
"Nathaniel? Hey, wait, hang on."
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"Nathaniel!"
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"Just get to your car and then you're home free."
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"-Wait, wait. -Okay."
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"-Nathaniel. -Just keep walking."
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"Oh, hang on a second, man. Hey."
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"(whoops, chuckles)"
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"Hi. Wow, uh, Sam Fink."
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"Yeah. What are you doing in Boston? How have you been?"
Single Drunk Female
"What's going on at Bzzzzzzzzzz?"
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"I'm gonna plead the Fifth on your questions."
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"'Cause I don't want anything I say"
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"to be used against me by you."
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"-Right? -You caught me."
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"Been following you for months."
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"You know, been videotaping everything you do,"
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"actually got in your trunk on the way here."
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"-I'm kidding. -Oh, that's not super funny."
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"-You maimed me. -Right."
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"Right? I had an eye patch for a month."
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"-I'm-I'm very sorry about that. -Are you, though?"
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"I endured pirate jokes every day for a month."
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"I'm gonna give you a couple, so you know what I lived through."
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""Aye, aye, Captain," 'cause of my eye."
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"-Pretty stupid. -Pretty obvious."
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"One that was actually kinda decent,"
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""Lance Arrrmstrong," right? One eye, one nut."
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"That was my life for a month, because of you."
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"Right, no, I am, I am genuinely sorry,"
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"and I'm sober now, seven months."
Single Drunk Female
"-Oh. -So..."
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"Well, that's good to hear. I'm glad to hear it."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, you do, uh, you do seem less insane."
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"I'm really happy to hear that from you,"
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"a man that I respect and regret maiming."
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"-Yeah. Thank you. -Yeah."
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"Seriously, that piece that you did"
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"on the, um, the creepy judges,"
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"the one with the foot fetish, I thought that was really great."
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"-Oh, you saw that? -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, it was a pretty fun piece. I thought it turned out good."
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"-Yeah. -Oh, that's cool."
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"So, what are you up to?"
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"Like, are you writing at all, or what's up?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, uh, yeah, you know, just like classic alcoholic stuff,"
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"some moral inventories and, like, long amends letters,"
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"long apology letters and... a ton of letters."
Single Drunk Female
"Right. Well, is any of that publishable? 'Cause, I mean..."
Single Drunk Female
"-I think we might actually have something for you. -Like a job?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yes, like a job. Listen, your voice is really funny."
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"You'll be really good for this,"
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"and plus, like, everyone's so into women."
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"Right? Everything now is like,"
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""Oh, we got to get women," right?"
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"-Mm. -Which is super important, okay?"
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"And obviously that's not the only reason"
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"I'm bringing this up."
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"But let me just be clear about me saying that."
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"For the record, I, I don't really care."
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"I'll take what I can get."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, do you think Bzzzzzzzzzz"
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"would let me back in the building?"
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"No, no, but I'm not there anymore."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm at Smug Media, have you heard of it?"
Single Drunk Female
"I was at Doosh, and then they were dicks,"
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"so I'm now at Smug Media."
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"Listen, here's my card. I want you to call my assistant."
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"And let's, uh, let's get something on the books."
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"-Great. -All right? I want you to send me some writing."
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"-Published, unpublished, doesn't matter. -Okay."
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"Let me just see your stuff, and we'll, we'll go from there."
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"-All right? -All right."
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"All right, I'll talk to you soon,"
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"-and go Yankees! -No, Yankees suck!"
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"-(crowd booing) -NATHANIEL: Go Yankees!"
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"Yeah, take those chicken legs back where they belong,"
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"you little bitch!"
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"NATHANIEL: Shut up!"
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"Nathaniel Nathaniel?"
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"The one who had you carried out of the building"
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"by security guards?"
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"-BOB: Oh, no. -No, she's being dramatic."
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"Yes, Nathaniel. He seemed really interested, actually."
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"He said I looked great. I figure, why not?"
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"You know, I just have to send him some writing material,"
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"set up a meeting."
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"I thought you hated it there."
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"You said it was soul-killing."
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"Why would you want to go back to Bzzzzzzzzzz?"
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"Oh, no, he's at Smug Media now."
Single Drunk Female
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