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Clips from Weeds - Mother Thinks the Birds Are After Her (S04E04)

"Previously on Weeds:"
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"-- call for evacuation in lower Majestic."
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"All evacuees are welcome here to the Summer Canyon Recreation Center."
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"Where there's fire People like to smoke"
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"Okay, we need to be leaving. I smell smoke."
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"I'm opening up a club. Heylia's Compassionate Care."
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"Nancy, if it all burns down, what are you gonna do?"
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"I guess I'd have to go."
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"Agrestic -- Shit. Majestic police."
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"Clear out. The fire's up the block, and it's moving fast."
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"Holy shit."
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"That house belongs to Celia."
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"Because she was my lover."
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"And it was good."
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"So you buy her a house..."
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"...and I assume you're fucking her in said house."
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"She of the magical, house-earning pussy."
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"- Celia Hodes? - Yeah?"
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"Nancy Botwin."
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"I just got a call from Guillermo, and I need to go meet him."
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"No. You need to stop hanging out with bad people."
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"The man set a town on fire."
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"I could use you."
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"I'm not selling for you."
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"- I'm nobody's bitch anymore. - We take you off the sales floor."
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"That's for the little people. Navigator. I get stuck in traffic a lot."
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"Traffic?"
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"Do you have some sort of a plan?"
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"I'm working on it."
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"Am I under arrest? All right, how long is this gonna take?"
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"Why don't I ask my questions, and then we can get to yours?"
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"Well, could you turn down the air conditioning?"
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"I am in a sundress."
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"- Can I have a Diet Coke? - Again with the questions."
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"I'm starting to see what did it for Groff. He never had to get on top."
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"- I beg your pardon? - How tall are you, like 5'8"?"
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"Shouldn't you be asking questions about drug things?"
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"Okay. Was sex like a drug to you?"
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"I don't know what he told you, but Sullivan Groff is a lying piece of shit."
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"So you never had a sexual relationship with him?"
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"A sexual relationship that resulted in his giving you a house."
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"A house which was later used for the growing..."
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"...and cultivation of marijuana."
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"That house was never in my name. I was just living there."
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"Then my idiot ex-husband had an accident..."
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"...and I saw an opportunity to make some money..."
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"...by renting it out to someone I thought was a friend."
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"What she did with it has nothing to do with me."
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"You should be questioning Nancy Botwin."
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"Did a bird just crap on my head?"
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"No."
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"What is with all the birds?"
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"Shane, you should use the bathroom before we get back in the car."
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"- Can I ride with Uncle Andy? - Didn't you like listening to Radiolab?"
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"Best bathroom graffiti ever. At least in the top 10."
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"Here I sit"
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"Cheeks a-flexin'"
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"Giving birth to a baby Texan"
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"I think that's offensive to Texans."
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"- Only the baby ones. - Shane wants to ride with you."
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"Oh, sorry, buddy, the plasma's riding shotgun."
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"Please tell me you washed your hands."
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"Mom's car smells like gas. It's giving me a headache."
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"My car smells like gas?"
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"I don't think it's the car."
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"No, it's your mother."
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"- She smells like gas. - I don't smell anything."
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"- You smell like gas. - Must've spilled when I was pumping."
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"We haven't stopped at a gas station."
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"Do we know where we're going, or are we just driving around randomly?"
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"- We're on the run, aren't we? - These are solid questions."
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"- We're going to Ren Mar. - What? Whoa, what?"
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"- Ren Mar? Back up. - Yeah, moving forward."
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"We're going to see Bubbie."
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"- Bubbie? - Doesn't Bubbie hate you?"
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"She just hates that I'm not Jewish. It's not personal."
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"No, I think she hates you too."
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"Well, she loves her great-grandchildren."
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"I've only met her twice, and once was at Dad's funeral."
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"She kept calling me "gooshey purim," or something."
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""Goyishe punim." That's, "You got face like a goy.""
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"She's family. She lives by the beach. That's the plan."
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"Let's get back on the road. Shane, you sure you don't need to pee..."
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"...or birth a Texan before we go?"
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"- No. - Hey, can I go with you?"
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"- Mom's car smells like gas. - How am I not smelling it?"
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"Never mind. I'll drive the van."
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"The three of you can take the Prius."
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"All right? Will that make everyone happy?"
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"Flying flu bag."
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"I hate birds."
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"Dad once told me Bubbie killed the neighbor's dog."
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"- No one could ever prove that. - What's she like?"
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"Oh, she's great, actually, and a bitch, but in a great, tough-cookie way."
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"Old people creep me out."
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"Okay, fine. I spilled gas on myself when I was pouring it on the furniture."
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"What? Yes."
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"I set the house on fire."
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"Okay? It's done. It's gone."
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"I'm sure the real fire would've gotten to it anyway. I just wanted to make sure."
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"It's time to move on..."
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"...so let's move on."
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"Questions answered."
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"Mystery solved."
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"And there were growers. Heylia and Conrad."
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"I don't know their last names, but they were black."
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"And the gay Indian kid and the Christian girl."
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"You seem to know a whole lot about the operation for a landlady."
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"I'm telling you, you want Nancy Botwin, not me."
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"How do you know what I want? I'm full of surprises."
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"I have a parasitic twin growing out of my stomach."
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"Seriously?"
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"You'll have to get me naked to know for sure."
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"Are you trying to flirt with me? Is that what this is?"
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"- That's pathetic. - That is?"
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"You're the "drugs are wrong" lady, and you were running a grow house."
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"I got a picture here of you with Sasquatch."
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"You like costume play?"
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"I wanna go home."
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"The one with the pot plants, or the one with the injured, idiot ex-husband?"
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