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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Purple Giraffe (S01E01)

"- Okay, where was I? - You were telling us how you met Mom."
How I Met Your Mother
"- In excruciating detail. - Right."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, back in 2005, when I was 27, my two best friends got engaged."
How I Met Your Mother
"And it got me thinking, maybe I should get married,"
How I Met Your Mother
"And then I saw Robin, She was incredible,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I just knew I had to meet her, That's where your Uncle Barney came in,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I suggest we play a little game I like to call, "Have you met Ted?""
How I Met Your Mother
"No, no, no, no, we're not playing "Have you met Ted.""
How I Met Your Mother
"Hi, have you met Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"So I asked her out, and I know this sounds crazy,"
How I Met Your Mother
"but after just one date I was in love with her,"
How I Met Your Mother
"which made me say something stupid,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I think I'm in love with you."
How I Met Your Mother
"What?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh, Dad. - So then what happened?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Nothing,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, I'd made a complete fool of myself,"
How I Met Your Mother
"So, a week went by and I decided not to call her,"
How I Met Your Mother
"So, you're not gonna call her?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You went from "I think I'm in love with you""
How I Met Your Mother
"to "I'm not gonna call her"?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I wasn't in love with her, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I was briefly in love with the abstract concept of getting married."
How I Met Your Mother
"It had absolutely nothing to do with Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Robin? - Hey."
How I Met Your Mother
"Look who I ran into."
How I Met Your Mother
"Since when do you guys know each other?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, since about here."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily recognized me from the news..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hello, sailor. - They just got engaged."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I should get back to the station. See you guys."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Nice seeing you, Ted. - Yeah, you, too."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thanks."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Damn it! - What?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- I'm in love with her. - No."
How I Met Your Mother
"As your sponsor, I will not let you relapse."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You blew it. It's over. Move on. - I don't know."
How I Met Your Mother
"I just have this feeling she's the future Mrs. Ted Mosby."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily, you squeaked?"
How I Met Your Mother
"She said something about me, didn't she? Come on, spill it, Red."
How I Met Your Mother
"Fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, what do we think of Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted's something else."
How I Met Your Mother
"Huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm gonna spin that as good."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lots of guys are something, I'm something else."
How I Met Your Mother
"He comes on a little strong."
How I Met Your Mother
"But that's part of my charm."
How I Met Your Mother
"- But that's part of his charm. - Oh, totally."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, he's sweet, he's charming, he's just looking for something"
How I Met Your Mother
"a little bit more serious than I am."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, the most I can handle right now is something casual."
How I Met Your Mother
"- This just stays between us, right? - Are you kidding?"
How I Met Your Mother
"This flapper, Fort Knox."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oops."
How I Met Your Mother
"She wants casual?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, I'll be casual."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know why? 'Cause it's a game."
How I Met Your Mother
"I wanted to skip to the end and do the whole happily-ever-after thing,"
How I Met Your Mother
"but you don't get there unless you play the game."
How I Met Your Mother
"- So you gonna ask her out? - Yeah. No!"
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't ask her out, because if I ask her out I'm asking her out."
How I Met Your Mother
"So how do I ask her out without asking her out?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Did you guys get high?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I got it. I don't ask her out."
How I Met Your Mother
"I invite her to our party next Friday."
How I Met Your Mother
"- We're having a party next Friday? - We are now."
How I Met Your Mother
"Casual."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, 'cause nothing says "casual" like inviting a hundred people"
How I Met Your Mother
"over just to mack on one girl. Oh, and Lily, that's my leg."
How I Met Your Mother
"You waited five minutes to tell me that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- All right, so call her up. - No, calling's not casual."
How I Met Your Mother
"I just got to bump into her somewhere."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now, if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now, ever since Marshall put that ring on her finger,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily had been, well, extra affectionate,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Baby, no."
How I Met Your Mother
"I have a 25-page paper on constitutional law due Monday."
How I Met Your Mother
"I've barely started."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, I'm just sitting here wearing my ring."
How I Met Your Mother
"My beautiful ring."
How I Met Your Mother
"Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong."
How I Met Your Mother
"My shirt."
How I Met Your Mother
"Kind of don't wanna wear my shirt anymore."
How I Met Your Mother
"Or my underwear."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's right. I'm not wearing any."
How I Met Your Mother
"- No underwear? - Not even slightly."
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys."
How I Met Your Mother
"Boundaries."
How I Met Your Mother
"- There she is. - Thanks, Bill,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm reporting from the Razzle Dazzle Supermarket"
How I Met Your Mother
"on 75th and Columbus..."
How I Met Your Mother
"75th and Columbus."
How I Met Your Mother
"Game on!"
How I Met Your Mother
"...where four-year-old Leroy Ellenberg"
How I Met Your Mother
"has climbed inside a Grab-A-Prize machine and gotten stuck."
How I Met Your Mother
"And all in the pursuit of a stuffed, purple giraffe."
How I Met Your Mother
"For Metro News 1, I'm Robin Scherbatsky."
How I Met Your Mother
"- We're clear. - Thanks, Don."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Robin? Wow, what are the odds? - What are you doing here?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, you know, just shopping for dip."
How I Met Your Mother
"I love dip. No, I don't love dip. I like dip."
How I Met Your Mother
"As a friend, you know."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, hey, you reporting a news story or something?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, a kid stuck in a crane machine. How sweet of you to call it news."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow, kid in a crane machine."
How I Met Your Mother
"You just had to have that toy, didn't you?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Couldn't play the game like everyone else."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're all sweaty."
How I Met Your Mother
"Cute kid."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, it's so funny I should run into you."
How I Met Your Mother
"We're having a party next Friday if you feel like swinging by,"
How I Met Your Mother
"but, you know, whatever."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, I'm going back home next weekend."
How I Met Your Mother
"- It's too bad it's not tonight. - It is. It's tonight."
How I Met Your Mother
"This Friday. Did I say next Friday? Yeah, sorry."
How I Met Your Mother
"I guess I've been saying "next Friday" all week."
How I Met Your Mother
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