Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from MacGruber - The Hungry Lion (S01E01)

"[alarm blaring]"
MacGruber
"- Signal reestablished."
MacGruber
"- Satellites just coming back online, General."
MacGruber
"- Okay, people, we need answers,"
MacGruber
"and we need them yesterday."
MacGruber
"Do we have any idea who these kidnappers are, major?"
MacGruber
"- No, sir. They scrambled our comms"
MacGruber
"before we could get a real ID."
MacGruber
"- What about a location?"
MacGruber
"- We dispatched two recon drones"
MacGruber
"to try and track them down, but nothing so far."
MacGruber
"- So we don't know who they are,"
MacGruber
"where they are,"
MacGruber
"or what they're planning to do next?"
MacGruber
"- No, sir."
MacGruber
"- Jesus."
MacGruber
"What about MacGruber?"
MacGruber
"- I'm sorry, sir. We have to assume the worst."
MacGruber
"Sir."
MacGruber
"- Barrett."
MacGruber
"- Honey, now is not a good time."
MacGruber
"- MacGruber's in trouble. I can sense it."
MacGruber
"I--I know I can help."
MacGruber
"- There's nothing you can do for him."
MacGruber
"- Come on, Barrett. I-I-I know him better than anyone, please."
MacGruber
"He was my mentor, my first husband."
MacGruber
"- Victoria. - I know how he thinks."
MacGruber
"I know how he moves. - Victoria."
MacGruber
"- He took both my virginities, for God sakes."
MacGruber
"- Victoria!"
MacGruber
"He's dead."
MacGruber
"- What? - MacGruber is dead."
MacGruber
"I'm sorry."
MacGruber
"- Sir. - Not now, major."
MacGruber
"- Sir, the president is on the line."
MacGruber
"- Victoria, I have to take this."
MacGruber
"Please, go home. Don't worry."
MacGruber
"Look, I'm gonna find whoever did this,"
MacGruber
"and I'm gonna make them pay. I promise."
MacGruber
"[tense music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- [gasps]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"[dramatic music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- * MacGruber *"
MacGruber
"[fire crackling]"
MacGruber
"- * Happy birthday *"
MacGruber
"- * Happy birthday to you * - * To you *"
MacGruber
"- Open. - * Happy birthday to you *"
MacGruber
"- [echoing] Queeth."
MacGruber
"- Mommy!"
MacGruber
"[gunshot]"
MacGruber
"[dramatic music]"
MacGruber
"- MacGruber?"
MacGruber
"- Mommy!"
MacGruber
"[tense music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Hello."
MacGruber
"Hello."
MacGruber
"I know you're out there, Queeth."
MacGruber
"Where are you, you sack of shit?"
MacGruber
"- Well, look who's up."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Hello, MacGruber."
MacGruber
"Have a bad dream?"
MacGruber
"- No, I had a fucking great dream."
MacGruber
"Fucked your mom and dad unprotected,"
MacGruber
"came in both of them a bunch of times."
MacGruber
"- That sounds pretty wild."
MacGruber
"- Oh, it was. And it was so much better"
MacGruber
"than the nightmare you're about to have."
MacGruber
"- Tell me about it. - Oh, gladly."
MacGruber
"It'll be a simple two-step process"
MacGruber
"in which I get loose and then do to you exactly"
MacGruber
"what I did to your folks, mephorically, of course."
MacGruber
"'Cause I wouldn't let my dick"
MacGruber
"get within 100 calendar feet of your dirty butthole"
MacGruber
"- So we're calling that a dick now?"
MacGruber
"- Oh, fuck you, Queeth."
MacGruber
"You'll pay for what you did to my family."
MacGruber
"- Oh, I have no idea what you're talking about."
MacGruber
"- Oh, but you do."
MacGruber
"As soon as I get out of here,"
MacGruber
"I'm gonna skin you from stem to stern"
MacGruber
"and leave your bloody carcass to rot in the noonday sun."
MacGruber
"And that's a promise."
MacGruber
"- You got me quaking in my boots."
MacGruber
"Oh, where are my manners?"
MacGruber
"You got some old friends here"
MacGruber
"who just can't wait to say hello."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Master Sergeant Lon Vincente,"
MacGruber
"killed in action May 1, 1998."
MacGruber
"- No."
MacGruber
"- Sergeant Major Presley Dean, killed in action May 1, 1998."
MacGruber
"- [spits]"
MacGruber
"- Commander Baker Jaxx, killed in action May 1, 1998."
MacGruber
"Lieutenant Chance Tucker, killed in action May 1, 1998."
MacGruber
"- Been too long."
MacGruber
"- Captain Bex Dawson, killed in action May 1, 1998."
MacGruber
"I suspect you're detecting a bit of a theme here."
MacGruber
"- Yeah, you guys are all still super ugly as shit."
MacGruber
"- You know, it feels just like yesterday"
MacGruber
"that you left us all for dead"
MacGruber
"bleeding to death in the burning-hot savannas"
MacGruber
"of Burkina Faso."
MacGruber
"But it wasn't yesterday, was it?"
MacGruber
"No, it was 20 years ago,"
MacGruber
"20 years of near constant torture"
MacGruber
"in a secret prison camp behind enemy lines."
MacGruber
"- I guess that's what happens to traitors."
MacGruber
"- Traitors?"
MacGruber
"We were American soldiers"
MacGruber
"putting our asses on the line for our country."
MacGruber
"All we wanted was our fair share."
MacGruber
"Am I right?"
MacGruber
"[together] Yes, sir."
MacGruber
"- But you wouldn't let that happen."
MacGruber
"- Oh, well, ex-squeeze me if I had a little problem with you"
MacGruber
Show more clips