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Clips from Family Guy - Jersey Bore (S20E20)

"he's been carving dongs out of marble."
Family Guy
"You know, something different."
Family Guy
"- (machines chiming) - (lively chatter)"
Family Guy
"Wow. This place is... sad."
Family Guy
"I'm one of the skinniest guys here."
Family Guy
"Guys, Preston's coming. Beat it."
Family Guy
"I'm 11 seconds late."
Family Guy
"I'll credit you the time in our two-minute break"
Family Guy
"in 180 minutes."
Family Guy
"Let's work."
Family Guy
""Pawtucket Patriot Ale:"
Family Guy
""The Best Carbonated Fermented Alcoholic Beverage"
Family Guy
"Made from Malted Cereal Grain for the New Jersey Market.""
Family Guy
"- Zing. - That's not very catchy."
Family Guy
"I didn't bring you for your opinions, Griffin."
Family Guy
"I brought you for your width."
Family Guy
"Now, stand up while I project my presentation on your back."
Family Guy
"(projector whirring)"
Family Guy
"This is humiliating."
Family Guy
"I got to figure out a way to escape Preston"
Family Guy
"and join the guys."
Family Guy
""Which is why our beer is the best beer"
Family Guy
"for the Garden State.""
Family Guy
"And now for a restorative 60-second power nap."
Family Guy
"You'll nail this audition, Chris."
Family Guy
"Behind you, fellas."
Family Guy
"- Oh, hi, Meg. - That's not her."
Family Guy
"All high school theater tech girls just look like Meg."
Family Guy
"SHEPHERD: Chris Griffin to the stage, please."
Family Guy
"Okay, Chris. Go time."
Family Guy
"Curtain rises, lights up, a story begins."
Family Guy
"And today our story is about a rising star"
Family Guy
"in Constellation Showbiz Major: Chris Griffin."
Family Guy
"At the Stewie Griffin Workshop,"
Family Guy
"he's studied Commercial Technique"
Family Guy
"and Acting for Camera,"
Family Guy
"and will soon be seen in a local news story"
Family Guy
"about kids who throw stuff at birds."
Family Guy
"Enter... Chris."
Family Guy
""She doth teach the torches to burn...""
Family Guy
"Great! It's fine, Chris. The part's yours."
Family Guy
"I got my first-ever response on Tinder,"
Family Guy
"and I got to make this happen now."
Family Guy
""Are you sure you're not"
Family Guy
"a baby pretending to be a middle-aged divorcée?""
Family Guy
""Would a baby be wearing a sheer chemise from Lane Bryant?""
Family Guy
"Chris, congratulations!"
Family Guy
"We did it, Stewie."
Family Guy
"(gasps) Oh, my God, I'm going to kiss Heather!"
Family Guy
"Thanks again for all your help."
Family Guy
"Dear boy, I'm not going anywhere."
Family Guy
"My coaching will continue."
Family Guy
"Today's lesson: Acting teachers are weirdos"
Family Guy
"who always grab your hands like this,"
Family Guy
"and you can't do anything about it."
Family Guy
"No! No."
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"This is awesome."
Family Guy
"Here's to us, doing what we normally do,"
Family Guy
"but in a different place."
Family Guy
"Griffin. I knew I'd find you in a bar."
Family Guy
"I am furious."
Family Guy
"But that doesn't mean you shouldn't introduce me"
Family Guy
"to your friends as a common courtesy."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah. Uh, Quagmire, Cleveland, Joe."
Family Guy
"Want to see Sebastian Maniscalco with us in the Stardust Room?"
Family Guy
"He's that comedian who's always startled"
Family Guy
"by the pasta he takes pictures with."
Family Guy
"No. I'm too busy trying to save our jobs."
Family Guy
"Go home, Griffin."
Family Guy
"You are useless to me and the brewery."
Family Guy
"You will never amount to anything at work."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah? Well, you'll never amount to anything at life."
Family Guy
"You don't know how to make friends or have fun."
Family Guy
"You never even tasted the beer you sell."
Family Guy
"At least I know why it's special."
Family Guy
"Maybe you're right."
Family Guy
"I don't quite understand its appeal."
Family Guy
"Well, here's your chance."
Family Guy
"("The Man in Me" by Bob Dylan playing)"
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... ♪"
Family Guy
"For the record, I've never seen this movie."
Family Guy
"Actors onstage."
Family Guy
"I think you mean, company, positions!"
Family Guy
"Now, this is the scene where Mercutio warns Romeo"
Family Guy
"about Juliet's angry brother Tybalt."
Family Guy
"Who's playing Mercutio?"
Family Guy
"A ten-ounce bone-in rib eye."
Family Guy
"(sizzling)"
Family Guy
"Man, Ruth's Chris really has their hooks in this thing."
Family Guy
"Okay, Chris, move to the right."
Family Guy
"- Stage left. - Heather, come forward."
Family Guy
"- Downstage. - And to the right."
Family Guy
"- Stage left. - Back up, Chris."
Family Guy
"Upstage, Chris."
Family Guy
"- Stop. - Stage go."
Family Guy
"Am I scared of Tybalt?"
Family Guy
"Yes, but Juliet can't know."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna build on that, if I may."
Family Guy
"Ignore that direction, Chris."
Family Guy
"No, Chris, follow the emotion and take it further."
Family Guy
"Great note. Chris, don't listen to the note."
Family Guy
"Take it further."
Family Guy
"Of course, absolutely take it further"
Family Guy
"but in the opposite direction."
Family Guy
"Who's in charge here?"
Family Guy
"I'm starting to wonder that myself."
Family Guy
"If you're trying to drive me out of my own production,"
Family Guy
"- you've got another... - (phone chimes)"
Family Guy
"Oh, my first response on Farmers Only."
Family Guy
"A divorcée in Ohio wants to show me"
Family Guy
"her sheer Lane Bryant teddy."
Family Guy
"Fine. The show's yours."
Family Guy
"(seagulls squawking)"
Family Guy
"Oh, man, my head is killing me."
Family Guy
"(groans)"
Family Guy
"Did... did we do something bad last night?"
Family Guy
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