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Clips from American Auto - White Van (S01E01)

"- Well, we're only about 20 minutes in,"
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"but if it's anything like O.J. in '94,"
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"we're gonna be talking about this for quite a while."
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"."
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"- Hour two of the police pursuit of the white Payne--"
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"- The same Payne Magellan"
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"that he used to abduct and skin his--"
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"- The police pursuit for the Payne Magellan will--"
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"- Why do they have keep referring"
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"to the make of the car?"
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"The guy literally peeled a dozen people,"
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"but what America wants to know is what's he driving?"
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"- I don't get how we're responsible for this."
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"I mean, we just sold him the car."
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"We can't control what he does with it."
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"- It's just bad press. It looks bad."
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"- I actually agree with Cyrus, you know?"
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"I mean, the car didn't kill anyone, okay?"
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"We're blameless, like gun manufacturers after a shooting."
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"- Okay, yeah, this looks bad. - Yeah."
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"- Maybe we should just discontinue the whole line."
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"Or make them murder-proof."
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"- How do you murder-proof a car?"
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"- Well, you start by telling your chief product designer"
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"to make them murder-proof, and then when he says"
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"he can't do it, you hire someone who can."
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"- Burn! - Maybe we should have"
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"the car dealers start doing background checks."
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"Stop selling them to serial killers."
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"- Right, but no one knows what serial killers look like."
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"- Well, there are signs. - Yeah. The mustache."
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"Members Only jacket."
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"- Sometimes they dress up like a clown."
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"- We are not stopping selling cars to clowns, all right?"
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"Not all clowns are serial killers."
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"- Most of them are."
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"- Of course most of them are, but I'm saying not all of them."
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"- I'm sorry. Can I just say something about this?"
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"- No, no, no. Let me guess."
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""Let's not do anything. Let's just sit back and pray"
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"that another hurricane hits a tropical island.""
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"- Um...no."
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"Actually, I was going to say we should do a full media blitz."
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"We should issue statements, get the families on record"
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"saying they don't blame us for the murders"
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"and, you know, full-court press."
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"- Well, all right. Finally. Welcome to the team."
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"- Good."
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"Hi. Is this Brian Redcorn?"
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"Hi. I'm calling from Payne Motors."
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"I understand your dad was one of the men"
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"whose skin was found in the torture shed,"
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"and I just want to say how sorry we are here at--"
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"Oh. Yeah. I just assumed you had been informed."
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"- Juh-juh-juh-jackhammer."
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"Hey, I'm craving some Khanom Chan."
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"It's like this Thai layered Jell-O."
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"FYI, this place is in a very sketchy neighborhood."
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"- Is there, like,"
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"any way that somebody else can just maybe get it for you?"
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"- What do you mean? Like, you don't want to, or--"
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"- No, no, no! Psss! No, no."
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"I mean, it's just that Elliott's"
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"having me do some stuff for him."
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"Yeah. On a deadline with these here contracts."
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"- Oh. - Yeah."
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"You know, otherwise, I would love to."
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"- Oh, yeah. - I would love to, but--"
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"- No, I totally get it. No, no. You're busy."
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"It's totally cool. Yeah. We're good."
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"- Yeah. - We're good. Yeah. Awesome."
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"- You're sure? I mean-- - Cool."
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"- Hey, Brit-Dick."
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"Don't ever give Jack another assignment,"
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"or next time those files will be your face."
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"It's my pen now."
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"- No, it's my grandfather's pen."
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"- Excuse me."
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"- The rear panels would be see-through,"
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"and the cargo areas would all be equipped with these."
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"- Oh, wow. Oh, that's cool. Yeah."
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"- Okay. I found a widow who was willing to put out a statement"
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"absolving us of responsibility."
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"And her husband was a pastor at his church."
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"- He killed a pastor? - That's perfect for us."
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"It's like God himself is forgiving us."
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"- Well, God kind of forgives everyone."
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"That's really his whole thing."
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"- And I was thinking if you wanted to make"
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"like a big deal of this,"
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"we could invite the media to her house"
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"and the two of you could give a joint press conference."
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"- Interesting. - Hold on."
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"This woman just found out"
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"that her husband was killed and skinned alive."
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"- Well, we don't know if he was alive."
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"- Sorry, Dori. Killed and skinned dead."
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"Do we really want to exploit her as a PR stunt?"
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"- Yeah. What if we also gave her a brand-new car?"
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"- Oh, I like that. It's like a condolence call"
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"meets the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol."
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"- Yeah. Love it. Love that."
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"- Great. Set it up. Nice work, Sadie."
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"- Help. I am being abducted."
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"Ayuda."
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"Me están secuestrando. - Sorry."
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"- This right here, this is Clive fishing."
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"Oh, he loved to fish."
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"- Well--ahem--I bet he's fishing in heaven right now."
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"Just up there, you know, fishing on a cloud."
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"- I'd like to donate his skin."
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"Like, maybe to someone who lost their skin in a fire."
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"- So they would just sort of"
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"put that guy's body in your husband's skin?"
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"- Wouldn't that be something?"
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"- Mmm."
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"- Like a firefighter out there,"
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"looking just like Clive, putting out fires."
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"- Well, that is a beautiful sentiment."
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"Would you excuse me just for one moment, please?"
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