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Clips from American Auto - White Van (S01E01)

"- "It stands to reason that Ms. Hastings"
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""comes from the pharmaceutical industry"
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"because the Ponderosa made me feel sick.""
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"- That doesn't even make sense."
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"Drugs stop you from feeling sick."
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"- It's lazy. It's lazy reporting."
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"- There is a whole civil war in Syria,"
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"and this is what they choose to write about."
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"- This is a magazine about the auto industry,"
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"so there is not a lot about Syria."
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"- And we actually sell quite a lot of cars to Syria."
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"Bashar al-Assad has a 1976 Payne Condor,"
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"so there's a Syria link."
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"- Well, no, look. Parts of it are pretty good."
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"- Like what? - "The fact that Hastings"
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""was able to stand on stage"
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""with a straight face during the debacle"
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"showed a level of acting on par with Meryl Streep.""
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"- How is that good? - I mean... Meryl Streep."
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"- All right. Can we get them to take this down?"
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"- How would I do that?"
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"- Don't Communications people"
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"have good relationships with reporters?"
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"Like, maybe he's someone you used to date"
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"and you meet up at a hotel bar."
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"You ask him to lay off as a personal favor."
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"Maybe you get a room after, for old time's sake."
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"- I think if we make a big deal about this,"
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"we're just going to keep it in the news longer."
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"- So what are you suggesting? That we just do nothing?"
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"- Let's just wait a beat."
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"There's always another news story around the corner."
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"- ♪ Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪"
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"♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪"
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"- Guys."
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"Guys, guys."
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"I need you to fax me those contracts by 3:00 p.m."
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"No, don't make any excuses. Don't make any excuses."
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"I need you to fax those contracts by 3:00 p.m."
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"Okay, so fax the contracts."
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"Hey, um, you have a minute?"
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"- I do if you do. - Okay, cool, um..."
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"What do I do?"
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"- You're gonna have to be more specific."
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"- Okay. So when Katherine moved me up here,"
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"she never actually said what I'm supposed to be doing."
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"And I don't want to ask her, 'cause if she thinks"
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"I'm already supposed to know what I should be doing,"
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"then it's gonna look like I don't know what I'm doing."
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"Does that make sense? - Barely."
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"So what have you been doing all day?"
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"- Well, I, um, I walk around."
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"- Mm-hmm. - I photocopy"
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"blank sheets of paper."
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"I just had a very, very important business call"
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"with my grandma's voicemail."
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"- I heard that. - She'll be okay, though."
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"I'm the one that checks it for her."
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"- Well, just an FYI, we don't really fax contracts anymore."
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"- Really? - Did you see the--"
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"- Oh. - Sorry. Am I interrupting?"
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"- No, we were just talking about e-mail."
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"- No, no, no. Just work stuff."
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"- "Autoblog" says, "Hasty Hastings' Premature Launch.""
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"So much for the story going away on its own."
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"- Just wait. It's been like an hour."
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"- Well, you know what they say about those who wait."
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"- Good things come to them?"
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"- Not this time. Meeting. Five minutes."
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"- Okay."
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"- So I don't know if you guys have read"
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"some of the negative press we've been getting?"
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"- It's really bad--they're calling her the Pharma-Ho."
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"- Sorry, where does it say that?"
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"- It's in some of the comments."
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"- Okay, we need to change the story,"
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"so I set up an interview with "Point on Detroit.""
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"- You set an interview without telling me?"
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"- Yes. I didn't realize I needed your permission."
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"- You didn't need my permission. It's fine."
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"- Okay. What's a positive story that we can announce?"
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"- Mmm... - Um..."
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"- Positive... - Uh--"
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"- Come on, people, someone has to have some good news."
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"- Oh, my grandma just had her 90th birthday."
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"- Okay. - Yeah. We were waiting"
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"for a nice round number before we can unplug, you know?"
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"She's been losing it up here for years."
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"- Okay. Well, anything else."
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"Maybe something company related?"
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"- Oh, uh, we can announce that we're opening up"
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"a new truck plant in Joplin. That's 7,000 new jobs,"
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"plus it'll be the first carbon-neutral large-scale"
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"manufacturing site in North America."
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"- Well, thank you, Wesley."
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"- I'm sorry. What truck plant? - I don't know."
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"We'd have to open up some kind of truck plant."
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"No idea how you'd make it carbon-neutral."
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"That's a big swing."
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"- That's great. Super helpful."
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"- Well, at least he's pitching"
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"and not just sitting there being all tall."
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"- I am an attorney, okay? We don't deal in good news."
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"We've just been subpoenaed. Do we wanna put that out there?"
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"- Subpoenaed? Are we being sued?"
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"- Oh, no. Well, yes."
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"We're getting sued by literally thousands of people every day."
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"No, this is actually just the FBI"
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"are after some location data. Apparently,"
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"there's a serial killer driving a Payne Magellan."
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"- Great. - Serial killer?"
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"- What kind of serial killer? - What kinds are there?"
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"- Well, there is four main types."
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"There's thrill seekers, mission-oriented, visionary,"
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"and power and control."
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"- You're weird. That's weird that you know that."
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"- How would we have his location data?"
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"Do we bug our cars?"
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"- No. - Kinda."
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"- Any car with a nav system"
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