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Clips from The Office - Cocktails (S03E03)

"I've never told you that I love you."
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"You don't have to, Jan. This contract says it all."
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"I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside?"
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"I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-Ioathing."
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"Downside?"
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"That's what she said. Oh, my God, what am I saying?"
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"I love this woman!"
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"Oh, God."
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"Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica? No."
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"Hello, Michael."
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"Rachel! Boy, you clean up good."
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"Do you remember Michael Scott from the Scranton branch?"
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"Jan and I are lovers."
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"It feels so good to finally say that out loud."
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"David, can I speak to you privately for just a moment, please?"
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"Excuse me."
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"(MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"Oh, sorry."
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"So did the merger go smoothly or..."
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"It did."
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"You should ask Karen. She was one of them."
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"I'm the only one left. Everybody else was either fired or quit."
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"We're good."
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"Michael, please stop that, okay?"
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"Martini, please. Yep, Bagel Bites or something."
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"Rachel, your house is beautiful."
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"Thank you."
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"About 5,000."
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"Dwight, wow. That's not appropriate."
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"David, how much did this house cost?"
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"These old Colonials are great when they're sound."
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"I'll show you around, sure."
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"Cool. Let's start with the banisters."
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"Hey."
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"Do you see that guy behind you in the blue blazer against the wall?"
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"That's Drake."
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"And just so, you know, I don't want to be weird or anything,"
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"but we used to date."
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"Okay. Cool. Thanks for telling me."
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"And it didn't end well."
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"Got you. All right."
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"This was a gift"
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"from Lee lacocca."
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"Twenty-year-old single malt Scotch."
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"Here is to Mr. Lacocca and his failed experiment, the De Lorean."
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"(COUGHING)"
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"Are you okay?"
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"Yeah. Do you have any ice?"
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"Sure."
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"One, two, three! Up Jenkins!"
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"No, it is definitely under one of these hands."
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"I, kind of, heard it on Roy's side too."
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"No. It is here."
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"Not here."
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"It's not here."
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"Okay, it's either here or here."
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"(KENNY LAUGHING)"
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"I can read you like a book."
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"(ROY LAUGHING)"
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"KENNY: Bottoms up!"
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"Hey, Creed. Hey!"
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"What's up, Creed? What do you guys up to?"
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"I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine"
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"that I swiped from the sheriff's station."
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"(EXCLAIMS)"
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"Yeah, these studs are way too far apart."
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"What's in here?"
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"(PHONE RINGING)"
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"Are those real pearls?"
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"Oh, didn't notice."
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"Really? I thought it was so obvious. I'm glad it didn't make you uncomfortable."
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"No, it was before I knew you, so it's fine."
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"You and the missus should join us in Sandals, Jamaica next Christmas."
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"Michael, I think David probably wants to spend Christmas here with his family."
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"It's crazy. David, I'm sorry,"
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"Sorry."
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"What... What did I..."
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"Come on."
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"Just... Just... Just..."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Don't you know what I'm doing?"
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"Yeah, but you could tell me. Wow. What... What is that?"
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"MICHAEL: What has gotten into you? No, no, no."
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"JAN: What?"
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"Wait, let me just take my dress off. We're missing everybody."
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"MICHAEL: Don't take that... No, stop it! Stop it!"
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"Jan! No! No! No! Michael..."
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"MICHAEL: No means "Please don't.""
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"Means... Slam me up against the wall right here."
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"You're acting inappropriate, Jan. I want you so..."
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"JAN: Forget it. Get out of my way."
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"Hey!"
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"Where have you been all night?"
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"I was looking forward to hanging out with you."
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"I was..."
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"Hey, don't you have a daughter?"
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"Yes."
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"Oh, good. You're up."
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"Hey, who makes this chair?"
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"I want one."
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"It's really good, solid construction. It's comfortable."
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"(KNOCKING)"
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"I don't know."
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"God, I hate these parties."
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"You wanna sneak out back and shoot some hoops?"
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"Okay."
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"Don't mention that you and I are dating"
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"Wallace?"
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"Okay."
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"So none of them?"
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"Really?"
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"Oh, my God, it's so easy... Okay."
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"...it's not even fun."
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"Not too good."
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"Did you get a chance to try Michael's homemade potato salad?"
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"MICHAEL: Rachel thinks that I brought homemade potato salad."
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"But I just picked it up at the supermarket. It's funny."
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"I wish I could make potato salad that good. It's just potatoes and mayonnaise."
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"What's with Jan and Michael?"
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"(BOTH LAUGH)"
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