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Clips from Veep - Clovis (S03E03)

"Oh, my God, yeah, did I tell you? My site was linked on Playbook this morning."
Veep
"- All right. Just deal 'em up. - I'm gonna crush you bastards."
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"Anybody want some fruit salad? I got plenty."
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"How long is Craig gonna be held up?"
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"Craig will be with us momentarily, but at present he's in his coding hour."
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"I imagine that's when he's creating code."
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"That's what she said. She called it that."
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"Craig's coding hour is sacred."
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"It happens every day. But you don't know when."
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"- Perhaps if Craig... - It's Cray-eeg."
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"...kept some sort of calendar, then he could write down his schedule."
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"Then he would know where he was meant to be."
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"- Noted. - Yes."
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"What is all this writing on that wall?"
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"This is our graffiti wall."
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"Perhaps as one of our honored guests, you'd like to sign it."
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"- Oh. - Mm-mm-mm!"
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"No, ma'am, that's Ron Jeremy."
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"- Uhoh. - I know, he's a great actor."
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"He was Scar in The Lion King."
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"That was Jeremy Irons. Ron Jeremy is a porn legend."
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"- Oh. Here. - No... Lance Armstrong."
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"We're having that one chemically expunged."
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"- Ah, so... - Good idea."
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"- What are you doing? - It's like a rollaway."
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"But there's no wheels."
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"Okay, yeah. Yeah."
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"Gonna raise a hundred."
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"You got nothing. I know you, you got a tell."
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"That's your tell, Dan. That's a William fucking Tell."
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"It's like an apple sitting right on your head, Dan."
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"I can see it. It's plain as day. I call."
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"See, I got one pretty lady, and, oh, look..."
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"she brought her sister, and... hello, honey."
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"Three pretty ladies, like Saturday night at Chez Jonah."
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"And here endeth the lesson, children."
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"You look like you're gonna heave, man."
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"I just had a bellyful of Chung this morning."
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"I don't get it, either. I don't know why no one's going after that guy."
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"Because unlike your boss, his day-to-fuck-up ratio isn't one to one."
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"At least Selina didn't torture any Iraqis."
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"Unless she had an Iraqi maid or something."
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"- That's bullshit. - No, I heard his unit tortured a guy."
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"- Seriously? - I don't know for sure."
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"- You think that's true? - I'm not saying anything. I know nothing."
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"It's like the rain forest, isn't it?"
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"- Nature is very important to Clovis. - Uh-huh."
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"- Here is some. - How do you take care of all the roots?"
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"Oh, these are synthetic."
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"- This is our Black Sky ideas room. - Uh-huh."
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"Google has Blue Skies,"
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"but Craig doesn't stop at the atmosphere."
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"Ah."
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"But he stops at meeting me, doesn't he?"
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"In his own motherfucking building."
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"She said we'd see Creeg momentarily."
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"Our withdrawal from Afghanistan has been more momentarily than this."
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"Sorry, guys, my size-of-a-planet bad."
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"Craig Juergensen, as I live and breathe in the genius. Kent Davison."
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"- Selina. - It's Madam Vice President."
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"- It's Madam Vice President. - I'm sorry. Madam Vice President."
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"Right."
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"I shouldn't say this because I majored in math,"
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"but you have my 1000% attention."
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"Wow, that's a lot. I'm thrilled to hear that..."
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"Excuse me one moment. Have you heard from Indonesia?"
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"- They've made a counter. - Okay."
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"Hope Melissa's taken care of you."
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"She's our financy Nancy, but she's cool, sometimes."
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"I can be cool sometimes."
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"So what we need to do..."
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"- Talk to me. - What about?"
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"Anything. Doesn't quite matter."
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"Congress, legislature, words like that."
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"Yes. Exactly. What about France?"
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"So pretty. The museums are too big."
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"- They could be smaller. - That's a great point."
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"- Did Melissa show you our new baby? - We won."
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"- I'm so sorry. What? - Did she show you the Smartch?"
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"This march? Do you have a special little march?"
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"- No. - No?"
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"- You are going to love this. - It's a little on the loud side, guys."
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"How's about putting a sock around the ball?"
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"We're going to put this on you."
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"You are wearing a smart watch."
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"Hence, Smartch."
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"It swaps Clovis profiles when you shake hands."
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"If it's a phone and watch, just call it a Fotch."
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"Or a Wone."
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"If you wanted it to bomb."
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"- Let's shake. - All right."
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"And now it is on."
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"Oh."
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"- It worked this morning. - Okay, one more time."
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"This way. Uh-oh."
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"I feel like we're sawing a tree or something."
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"Now we're milking a cow."
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"- Maybe there's an on button. - You know what?"
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"- We'll come back to shaking, okay? - Great."
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"Why don't you ask it a question?"
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"- Can Craig see... - Selina, you need to say Smartch."
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"- It's Madam Vice President. - I know!"
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"Okay. Smartch, can you see for Craig..."
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"- It's Cray-eeg. - Cray-eeg..."
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"the MeetMeyer website."
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"These are the opening times for Sea World."
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"You know, this is good. If things work all the time,"
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"it means we can't make them better."
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"We have a saying here at Clovis... Dare to fail."
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"- Then that's a job well done. - Stop playing Ping-Pong..."
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"here... and go have a great time somewhere else."
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"Look, if we don't go with this Chung torture story,"
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"someone else will."
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"We just don't know the facts."
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"We put it out there,"
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"and then something will arrive that backs it up."
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"That's Journalism 101."
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"Hey, Dan. It's Jonah."
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"Hey, do you think I should go with this?"
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"I'm probably going to,"
Veep
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