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Clips from Veep - Clovis (S03E03)

Very inspirational speech, ma'am.

"Very inspirational speech, ma'am."

Veep

Come on, you wrote it, you can't review it. How are you?

"Come on, you wrote it, you can't review it. How are you?"

Veep

I meant you read it very inspirationally.

"I meant you read it very inspirationally."

Veep

Yeah, thanks a lot. I love Silicon Valley.

"Yeah, thanks a lot. I love Silicon Valley."

Veep

I love Silicon Valley!

"I love Silicon Valley!"

Veep

Yeah! There's a real can-do attitude.

"Yeah! There's a real can-do attitude."

Veep

This is what DC must have been like under Jefferson...

"This is what DC must have been like under Jefferson..."

Veep

except that would have been a horse, right?

"except that would have been a horse, right?"

Veep

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Veep

There's a typo on the home page.

"There's a typo on the home page."

Veep

She might have a great sense of density for this nation,

"She might have a great sense of density for this nation,"

Veep

but that's not the line we want to push.

"but that's not the line we want to push."

Veep

- It's up. - What is... oh, MeetMeyer?

"- It's up. - What is... oh, MeetMeyer?"

Veep

MeetMeyer.com. Everything you wanted to know about Selina Meyer

"MeetMeyer.com. Everything you wanted to know about Selina Meyer"

Veep

that we want you to.

"that we want you to."

Veep

You should have changed the name to MoneyMoneyMoney. Gov.

"You should have changed the name to MoneyMoneyMoney. Gov."

Veep

That's right. That's 5,000 a ticket, and 10,000 to be at the Veep's table.

"That's right. That's 5,000 a ticket, and 10,000 to be at the Veep's table."

Veep

20,000 and Selina sits on your lap.

"20,000 and Selina sits on your lap."

Veep

- What did you just say? - No, not really.

"- What did you just say? - No, not really."

Veep

So, what about Clovis? When are we doing it? Is that tomorrow?

"So, what about Clovis? When are we doing it? Is that tomorrow?"

Veep

Yes. That company is worth 4.3 billion.

"Yes. That company is worth 4.3 billion."

Veep

- I know. - That's more than I make in a year.

"- I know. - That's more than I make in a year."

Veep

Yes, we will need Wi-Fi.

"Yes, we will need Wi-Fi."

Veep

Gary, what are you doing? You look like a newborn giraffe.

"Gary, what are you doing? You look like a newborn giraffe."

Veep

I was just fanning myself with my arm.

"I was just fanning myself with my arm."

Veep

Here, can you take this? It's heavy.

"Here, can you take this? It's heavy."

Veep

You take that. Okay, this way?

"You take that. Okay, this way?"

Veep

Wi-Fi. Do you have that in Silicon Valley?

"Wi-Fi. Do you have that in Silicon Valley?"

Veep

The sun is unbelievable. I've got to move the government here.

"The sun is unbelievable. I've got to move the government here."

Veep

Oh, you wanna do a selfie?

"Oh, you wanna do a selfie?"

Veep

I call that an ussy.

"I call that an ussy."

Veep

It's an iPhone joke or something.

"It's an iPhone joke or something."

Veep

And who's this gorgeous thing?

"And who's this gorgeous thing?"

Veep

- This is Gracie. - Look, here, look!

"- This is Gracie. - Look, here, look!"

Veep

She's wearing a campaign button, folks.

"She's wearing a campaign button, folks."

Veep

- I campaigned for you. - You did?

"- I campaigned for you. - You did?"

Veep

Yeah, Cassie Langley.

"Yeah, Cassie Langley."

Veep

I can't resist a baby. Hello, Gracie.

"I can't resist a baby. Hello, Gracie."

Veep

- Now, how old is she? - I'd say she's eight and a half months.

"- Now, how old is she? - I'd say she's eight and a half months."

Veep

- She's nine months. - Okay, she's rounding up.

"- She's nine months. - Okay, she's rounding up."

Veep

She's crawling. Isn't that about the age...

"She's crawling. Isn't that about the age..."

Veep

No, she's been really, really slow to develop, actually.

"No, she's been really, really slow to develop, actually."

Veep

$They've been fracking in our area.$

"They've been fracking in our area."

Veep

$Hydraulic fracturing to extract oil and gas.$

"Hydraulic fracturing to extract oil and gas."

Veep

$- You don't know what it is? - I absolutely know what fracking is.$

"- You don't know what it is? - I absolutely know what fracking is."

Veep

We just don't know if there's contamination in our homes.

"We just don't know if there's contamination in our homes."

Veep

When you ran, you said you were pro-environment.

"When you ran, you said you were pro-environment."

Veep

- I am pro-environment. - No, you were.

"- I am pro-environment. - No, you were."

Veep

Now I don't know what you are, and I feel very let down by you.

"Now I don't know what you are, and I feel very let down by you."

Veep

Know what your mommy and me are doing?

"Know what your mommy and me are doing?"

Veep

We're having a very serious conversation

"We're having a very serious conversation"

Veep

about political issues, aren't we?

"about political issues, aren't we?"

Veep

And the issues are complex.

"And the issues are complex."

Veep

You said you were against it, now you're saying you're for it.

"You said you were against it, now you're saying you're for it."

Veep

I'm just confused. Which one is it?

"I'm just confused. Which one is it?"

Veep

We need to make that woman go away.

"We need to make that woman go away."

Veep

- And I don't mean kill her. - Kill her.

"- And I don't mean kill her. - Kill her."

Veep

$...believe that a certain kind of fracking...$

"...believe that a certain kind of fracking..."

Veep

I don't think you know what you're talking about.

"I don't think you know what you're talking about."

Veep

I care about my daughter very much...

"I care about my daughter very much..."

Veep

- Wrap it up. - I'm trying.

"- Wrap it up. - I'm trying."

Veep

The children are our future, Cassie.

"The children are our future, Cassie."

Veep

And they deserve an energy policy that protects the world, okay?

"And they deserve an energy policy that protects the world, okay?"

Veep

The world in which there's a country called the United States of America.

"The world in which there's a country called the United States of America."

Veep

Move on. We're moving on. Let's move on.

"Move on. We're moving on. Let's move on."

Veep

Excuse me, can I please have my child back?

"Excuse me, can I please have my child back?"

Veep

Oh, my God, I've got the baby!

"Oh, my God, I've got the baby!"

Veep

- This hurts, this hurts. - Not me.

"- This hurts, this hurts. - Not me."

Veep

This hurts, this hurts... hi!

"This hurts, this hurts... hi!"

Veep

She was like a beached whale

"She was like a beached whale"

Veep

with one flipper fucking around in the air,

"with one flipper fucking around in the air,"

Veep

and you were nowhere to push her back in the sea.

"and you were nowhere to push her back in the sea."

Veep

I was shutting it down, Amy. You were watching a baby fill its diaper.

"I was shutting it down, Amy. You were watching a baby fill its diaper."

Veep

That baby had a mean look in its eyes, like its mama.

"That baby had a mean look in its eyes, like its mama."

Veep

- Hey, ma'am? - Uh-huh?

"- Hey, ma'am? - Uh-huh?"

Veep

What do you think a theme, like a West Coast feel for tomorrow?

"What do you think a theme, like a West Coast feel for tomorrow?"

Veep

I'm calling this Pacific Trim.

"I'm calling this Pacific Trim."

Veep

- You know what trim is? - Yeah?

"- You know what trim is? - Yeah?"

Veep

- It's twat. - Oh, yeah.

"- It's twat. - Oh, yeah."

Veep

So, ma'am, right now, you're at your hotel.

"So, ma'am, right now, you're at your hotel."

Veep

- I know that, yes. - What about this Alcatraz-matazz?

"- I know that, yes. - What about this Alcatraz-matazz?"

Veep

- What do you think of that? - They look like two couches.

"- What do you think of that? - They look like two couches."

Veep

Couches. Great. No couches.

"Couches. Great. No couches."

Veep

Tomorrow morning is Clovis. Then you go to Yahoo.

"Tomorrow morning is Clovis. Then you go to Yahoo."

Veep

Remember, while you're there, do not use Google as a verb.

"Remember, while you're there, do not use Google as a verb."

Veep

- They Yahoo things there. - Okay, bye.

"- They Yahoo things there. - Okay, bye."

Veep

MeetMeyer.com is burning down the house, ma'am,

"MeetMeyer.com is burning down the house, ma'am,"

Veep

if that's a good thing.

"if that's a good thing."

Veep

$What about this whole fracking mother with this baby situation?$

"What about this whole fracking mother with this baby situation?"

Veep

How bad is it? If we were gonna rate it on a scale of one to fucked,

"How bad is it? If we were gonna rate it on a scale of one to fucked,"

Veep

- what would you say? - Well, she's a woman.

"- what would you say? - Well, she's a woman."

Veep

- Right. - In her 30s.

"- Right. - In her 30s."

Veep

You alienate them, and you'll be dead somewhere before New Hampshire.

"You alienate them, and you'll be dead somewhere before New Hampshire."

Veep

Oh, my God, I know.

"Oh, my God, I know."

Veep

I lose women and what am I left with?

"I lose women and what am I left with?"

Veep

I'm left with gay Latinos and Jews at college, I guess.

"I'm left with gay Latinos and Jews at college, I guess."

Veep

Does someone please want to tell me

"Does someone please want to tell me"

Veep

why Danny Chung is on this television?

"why Danny Chung is on this television?"

Veep

Even Selina Meyer's supporters are not supporting her.

"Even Selina Meyer's supporters are not supporting her."

Veep

Now, speaking as a military man,

"Now, speaking as a military man,"

Veep

if you lose the trust of the men and women on the ground...

"if you lose the trust of the men and women on the ground..."

Veep

I've got to take this fucker out.

"I've got to take this fucker out."

Veep

I have to succeed where the Republican Guard failed.

"I have to succeed where the Republican Guard failed."

Veep

All while doing 10 million other little things.

"All while doing 10 million other little things."

Veep

It is called multitasking, Dan.

"It is called multitasking, Dan."

Veep

I do it every... Damn it.

"I do it every... Damn it."

Veep

You just typed the word multitasking, didn't you?

"You just typed the word multitasking, didn't you?"

Veep

No.

"No."

Veep

Yeah, Amy, Fracking Lady. Want me to get her in here or shut her down?

"Yeah, Amy, Fracking Lady. Want me to get her in here or shut her down?"

Veep

What do you want me to do? Tame her or shame her?

"What do you want me to do? Tame her or shame her?"

Veep

Either. Both. And quickly.

"Either. Both. And quickly."

Veep

- This is fuckin' terrible. - I know.

"- This is fuckin' terrible. - I know."

Veep

You know, they say all babies are cute,

"You know, they say all babies are cute,"

Veep

but whoever they are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic.

"but whoever they are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic."

Veep

No, no, I'm not talking about that.

"No, no, I'm not talking about that."

Veep

Jonah's got a new post up. And he's getting hits.

"Jonah's got a new post up. And he's getting hits."

Veep

Not the kind he deserves, either.

"Not the kind he deserves, either."

Veep

So, the Veep's gone to Silicon Valley of the Dolls.

"So, the Veep's gone to Silicon Valley of the Dolls."

Veep

And instead of California dreaming, she's got 'em California screaming.

"And instead of California dreaming, she's got 'em California screaming."

Veep

And that's why drinking chemical sludge is good for you.

"And that's why drinking chemical sludge is good for you."

Veep

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