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Clips from Veep - The Eagle (S05E05)

"Why? Did he say something to you?"
Veep
"Is everybody's cell phone off?"
Veep
"Yeah. Those things cause cancer, you know."
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"That's what I hear. Good to see you, Bob."
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"Good to see you."
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"- Been a while, huh? - Yeah, it has indeed."
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"I think the last time was at your ski cabin with your wife."
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"I still got the cabin."
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"So, Bob, neither of us have time to waste with the certification so close."
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"What's on your mind?"
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"What we have here is a classic thumb"
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"in the apple pie situation and Grandma is mad as hell."
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"- She spent all day cooking... - Look, Bob. Bob."
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"We all know you're as folksy as a butter churn lamp,"
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"but let me cut to the chase."
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"From where I'm sitting, my boy's ahead."
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"If you're here to beg for more time, take your cup and cane elsewhere."
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"Hold that thought."
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"- The gown is just gorgeous. - I know."
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"- Did this come from India? - I don't know. Did you get it?"
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"Just all of this just screams Grace Kelly."
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"- I know. - Charlie is gonna flip."
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"- I don't like my eyes, though. - What?"
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"Yeah, I feel like I've got two diaper bags underneath."
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"- No, no, no, no. I don't think... - Oh, God."
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"- I need my ring. - Okay."
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"- Oh, Bob. - Evening."
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"Hi, you're getting ready to go to the Whitman meeting, right?"
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"Mm-hmm, there's never been a Whitman's Sampler"
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"I couldn't take apart piece by piece and shit out, Madam President."
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"I love to hear that. Okay, you're hanging on to me like a skin tag."
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"Hey, you know what? Could you go and tell Charlie I'll be just a couple minutes?"
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"- Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. - Thank you very much."
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"So listen, I talked to Kent and he really needs"
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"as much time as possible, so whatever you could do"
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"to buy more time to delay the certifica... Bob?"
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"Bob? Are you all right? Can you hear me?"
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"- Is there someone in here? - What?"
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"- What is this? - Bob, is Richard there?"
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"Bob, are you okay?"
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"Oh, fuck. You know what?"
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"I wonder... I think maybe we should delay the meeting."
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"Oh, not a chance, Mr. President."
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"- I'm locked and loaded. - Madam President."
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"A lady president? Yeah, maybe in the year 2000."
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"Bob! Oh, my God. Jesus Christ!"
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"- Mr. Baird, Mr. Baird. I'm so sorry. - Excuse me."
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"I know everybody's waiting, but she just texted and she's running a little bit late."
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"You sure she just texted or did she tweet the entire world?"
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"It's okay, she's not here."
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"All right, then let's just sit down."
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"- Wait, you want... - It's fine. It's fine."
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"- She won't care. - I don't know if..."
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"Howard, would you do me a favor and slide over for my pal?"
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"Sure."
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"I don't know if this is such a good idea."
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"It's 250 grand. I bought the table. Sit down."
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"Gary is a key member of the Meyer administration."
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"So kind. Thank you."
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"- You have a card? - No, just a bag."
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"Guys, something is deeply wrong with Bob."
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"What?"
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"I'm talking like blood in the urine wrong."
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"Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you."
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"No, not now, Amy, okay? Just focus on this."
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"Amy, this is really bad."
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"Oh, hello, ma'am."
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"- What's bad? - Can I tell Amy and have her tell you?"
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"Jonah, just speak. What is it?"
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"Ma'am, I've been trying to get Mr. Bradley on the phone"
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"with Ned Mitchell from the Las Vegas Gazette."
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"- Right. - Ned Mitchell died in 2006."
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"And the Las Vegas Gazette stopped publishing in 2007."
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"Oh, my God."
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"I was able to get in touch with Susan Bailey at the Reno Star,"
Veep
"which is not a newspaper, it's a legal brothel."
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"But she did seem excited to help the campaign in whichever way she could."
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"Jesus Christ, ma'am. I'm so sorry."
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"He just seemed like the same old Bob to me."
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"Ma'am, this morning he told me the Jews cause hurricanes."
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"He just went into this Whitman meeting, you guys!"
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"What if he takes a shit on the table or something?"
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"Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a shit whenever he wants, that's a major victory."
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"All right, Amy, this meeting cannot make it"
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"past the School Book Depository."
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"I'm loading my gun and heading to the sixth floor."
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"Well, then, go, go, go! Ben, don't hang up."
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"- I've got to tell you something. - Uh-oh."
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"Bob knows there wasn't a Chinese hack."
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"I think I might have told him."
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"Well, don't worry, ma'am."
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"We'll get him on the first flight out of Nevada"
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"and we'll shove his ass out somewhere over Oklahoma."
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"Alzheimer's or no, I image-searched Susan Bailey"
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"and she is legit fuckable."
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"Hi, this is Dan, leave a message."
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"Shit! Thing Two."
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"Honestly, her rates are reasonable."
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"Richard, call..."
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"Can you go any faster?"
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"Amy, if you had rented me a Sebring, yes."
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"Just go! Go, go!"
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"This is like that famous scene from the movie Heat."
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"You know, with De Niro and Brenneman."
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"Just thinking about that scene gives me goose bumps."
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"The fuck is going on?"
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"Mr. Whitman, sir, I'm sure that Mr. Bradley"
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"will be right back"
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"very soon."
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"You know, I'm just gonna step out,"
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"make sure that Bob doesn't need anything."
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"Be right back."
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"Good evening, everyone. Before we start,"
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"I would like to acknowledge the chairman of tonight's dinner"
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"and a longtime generous benefactor of this unique institution,"
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"- Mr. Charles Baird Jr. - Oh!"
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"Thank you, Steve. I'd like to say dig in,"
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"but my date is running late."
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"Presidents, right?"
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"Well, hopefully she arrives before we all turn into fossils."
Veep
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