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Clips from Veep - The Eagle (S05E05)

"Why is nobody answering their phones right now?"
Veep
"Hang on, ma'am. I'm gonna try Dan again."
Veep
"- Hey. - Dan, you're on with the..."
Veep
"Dan, are your ears on mute?"
Veep
"I've called you like 80 times."
Veep
"- You're on with the president. - Sorry, ma'am."
Veep
"Whitman made us turn our phones off before Bob walked out of the meeting."
Veep
"What do you mean? The meeting is over?"
Veep
"Well, no, but that didn't stop the Eagle"
Veep
"from flying out onto the street and getting in a cab."
Veep
"Yeah, turns out he's nuttier than a squirrel's diaper."
Veep
"- Tell Jonah to shut the fuck up. - Shut the fuck up."
Veep
"If the meeting's still going on, who's with Whitman?"
Veep
"- Richard. - Oh, thank God."
Veep
"Hate to say I told you so."
Veep
"- Shut the fuck up. - Shut the fuck up, Jonah."
Veep
"Mr. Splett, where's Bob Bradley?"
Veep
"Honestly, I was gonna ask you that."
Veep
"Do you mind if I get a picture with you"
Veep
"for my blog Let's Talk About Splett?"
Veep
"Tell the Eagle it was great to see him."
Veep
"And at 6:00 P.M. tomorrow,"
Veep
"every vote in this state will be counted and certified."
Veep
"Well, not every vote. Funny thing about elections,"
Veep
"historically there've always been leftover ballots."
Veep
"Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or thrown out."
Veep
"- Is that what this is about? - I'm so sorry for..."
Veep
"The missing ballots in Washoe County."
Veep
"We looked all over for them, came up empty,"
Veep
"so best of luck to you."
Veep
"And if you do happen to find as much as one new vote,"
Veep
"- we'll see you in court. - Thank you."
Veep
"Holy bacon double Asperger's."
Veep
"- How did you do that? - I'm sorry, what?"
Veep
"Amy, what are your top five favorite De Niro movies?"
Veep
"And you can't say Meet the Parents 'cause that's automatically number one."
Veep
"Kent, it's Washoe County. Don't ask me how I know."
Veep
"Kent, get the Justice Department on this, okay?"
Veep
"You give them your statistical whatever it is to narrow it down."
Veep
"- You mean my data narrative matrices. - Yeah, the datas."
Veep
"Amy, is there any sign of the Eagle or is he crossing America on a lawn mower?"
Veep
"Ma'am, we really ought to get someone in court right away"
Veep
"to file a Hail Mary injunction to extend the deadline,"
Veep
"someone who can stall till we find the ballots."
Veep
"I already thought about that."
Veep
"I've got it covered."
Veep
"Mm-hmm."
Veep
"So the lady-in-waiting came over to us"
Veep
"and she said, Her Majesty thought perhaps you would like to see her crown."
Veep
"Imagine a shy kid from Birmingham, Alabama,"
Veep
"and the Queen of England..."
Veep
"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States."
Veep
"Oh, thank you."
Veep
"Thank you. Oh, look at that."
Veep
"That's sort of a grey-blue dress. Isn't that something?"
Veep
"Hi, feeling good in Nevada."
Veep
"Nifty in Nevada. Hi."
Veep
"- You look fantastic. - Yeah, I need a drink."
Veep
"Indeed I do. Everybody, please, sit down."
Veep
"I am so excited to hear all about the..."
Veep
"Stegosaurus, the armored plant eater."
Veep
"- Stegosaurus, the arm... Gary? - Mm-hmm."
Veep
"I dropped my lipstick somewhere between here and the motorcade."
Veep
"- Okay, I got one right here. - No, go get that one."
Veep
"- Uh-huh. - So what did I miss?"
Veep
"We just heard a lovely story about the Queen of England."
Veep
"She's a fucking cunt."
Veep
"- You didn't hear it from me. - No."
Veep
"We're still searching for the votes, so we need you to stall."
Veep
"Amy, I respect the sanctity"
Veep
"of this courtroom far too much to stall."
Veep
"This is a simple and straightforward case."
Veep
"Although, in many ways, that's what makes it so complicated."
Veep
"- You see... - That's good. Do that."
Veep
"The court will hear the matter of Meyer v. Nevada,"
Veep
"a motion to delay certification."
Veep
"Before we begin, I would love to define a few key terms."
Veep
"Vote. What is a vote?"
Veep
"Well, I think that's pretty obvious."
Veep
"Oh, is it, Your Honor?"
Veep
"In many cultures, the word vote can mean a myriad of things."
Veep
"It can mean a celebration."
Veep
"It can mean a dance around a fire."
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"It can mean a silent nod."
Veep
"In this room, what does it mean?"
Veep
"Any news on Creaky McGee?"
Veep
"Seriously, we have got to find Bob before..."
Veep
"Look at this. How beautiful you look. And check this out."
Veep
"No, no. What about the Nevada State Police?"
Veep
"- Ma'am, there's nothing. - Oh, never mind. We got him."
Veep
"What? Where is he?"
Veep
"- Here. - Good morning."
Veep
"Hi, Bob."
Veep
"- Hey. - Hi."
Veep
"I am so happy to see you."
Veep
"What kind of soup do you have today?"
Veep
"Um, what kind of soup is on your mind?"
Veep
"Well, what is today?"
Veep
"- Um... it's Thursday. - It's Thursday."
Veep
"- Thursday? - Yup."
Veep
"Navy bean. So delicious."
Veep
"Ma'am, you want to... hey, Bob."
Veep
"Bob Bradley. Nice to meet you, sir."
Veep
"- They found the ballots. - Seriously?"
Veep
"- Yeah. - Excuse me, Bob."
Veep
"Breaking news out of Nevada."
Veep
"Acting on a tip, US Justice Department deputies"
Veep
"found an estimated 10,000 uncounted mail-in ballots"
Veep
"from last week's presidential election..."
Veep
"Come on."
Veep
"...in the house of this man, 54-year-old US postal worker Vance Otlow."
Veep
"- Look at this guy. - Otlow had grown more erratic"
Veep
"following post office closures last year"
Veep
"by the Meyer Postal Commission."
Veep
"10,000 ballots!"
Veep
"From a district with an empirically high applied demography value."
Veep
"I don't know what you're saying, but you keep doing that math stuff, Kent,"
Veep
"no matter how much anyone makes fun of you, okay?"
Veep
"Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"All right, listen. Karen has got to get those ballots admitted, right?"
Veep
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