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Clips from Veep - The Eagle (S05E05)

"Table for two under McLintock, Mike McLintock."
Veep
"Uh, yes. The table is ready."
Veep
"We're clear. Bring in Sparrow."
Veep
"Listen, can I just reiterate once again"
Veep
"how really, really sorry I am?"
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"Wow! Oh, look at this. I guess they like us, huh?"
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"Hi. Wonderful. What were you saying?"
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"How really sorry I am. And I'm not someone who loves to apologize."
Veep
"Uh-huh, right, but you're loving it now, aren't you?"
Veep
"Oh, loving it. Want another one?"
Veep
"- Yeah, I do. - I'm really sorry."
Veep
"- I'm really, really, really sorry. - Now sing it."
Veep
"The president and Mr. Baird enjoyed a delicious dinner"
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"of blue crabs trapped by local fisherman Steve Yerkes"
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"and a cheese course including Basil Hayden Blue"
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"from Jasper Hill, Vermont."
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"Mike, how is she able to focus on the economy"
Veep
"if she's running around with her new boyfriend?"
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"The president has always placed great value on fiscal responsibility."
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"In fact, as vice president, she was chairman"
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"of the Meyer Postal Commission, which reduced post office debt"
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"from 65 billion to just over 62 billion."
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"Okay, Eagle. Well, I'll see you in a few seconds."
Veep
"Yeah, bye."
Veep
"All right, we got six more votes this morning."
Veep
"- Whoo! - We're never gonna close that gap."
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"Well, on the less shitty side, people are really loving you and Charlie Baird."
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"Even Wall Street's got a boner for you guys."
Veep
"- Really? The market's up? - No, it's flat."
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"But not down is straight up for us at this point."
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"Madam President, we have received word that Chinese hackers"
Veep
"have now breached the National Security Council servers."
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"I got a great idea. Why don't we give the Chinese"
Veep
"their own log-ins and passwords?"
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"Okay? Save everybody a lot of time."
Veep
"Ma'am, the FDA is monitoring a salmonella outbreak at a Missouri chicken farm."
Veep
"- Got a few fowl questions. - What?"
Veep
"Also from the comms department,"
Veep
"multiple mentions of tomorrow's trip"
Veep
"to the Museum of Natural History"
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"in New York City with Mr. Charlie Baird."
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"Huh, not bad. Phone."
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"Oh, listen to this."
Veep
"Charlie says O'Brien won't go down on his wife without biscuits and gravy."
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"Hey, can you show me how to find on Twitter"
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"those tweets where people were gushing about me and Charlie?"
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"Oh, yeah. You see this button right here?"
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"Okay, so listen, certification is tomorrow."
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"I mean, seriously, do we have any reason"
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"to think that we're not as fucked as a Senate page here?"
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"Actually, ma'am... I'm sorry I'm late... I think I may have found something."
Veep
"The voting data in Nevada is multiple standard deviations outside the means."
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"Christ, Kent, know your audience."
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"I think that there is statistical evidence"
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"of missing ballots in Nevada."
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"- Where? - I do not know."
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"- How many? - I do not know."
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"- Are you sure? - Absolutely."
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"Graydon Carter is begging for a photo spread"
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"of you and Charlie Baird in Vanity Fair."
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"Hey, Garfield, we're right in the middle of talking about Nevada, okay?"
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"Kent, what can you tell us?"
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"I might be able to pinpoint the vote anomaly"
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"if I could break down confounding variables using an intercept model."
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"What Alan Turing is trying to say is if there are missing votes,"
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"- he needs time to find them. - Mm-hmm."
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"All right, then we have to delay"
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"the certification of the recount."
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"Exactly my thought, ma'am."
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"I could have the lawyers file an injunction."
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"- Bob, what do you think? - I think it's a weak case."
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"Let me just take a meeting with Jim Whitman."
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"And after I'm done dick slapping him,"
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"he will have agreed to delay certification."
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"- Amy, set it up. - The injunction or the dick slapping?"
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"Christ, Amy, the meeting."
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"All right, gonna have to start chumming the media waters."
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"I want you to get me on the horn"
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"with Ned Mitchell from the Las Vegas Gazette"
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"and Susan Bailey with the Reno Star."
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"Amy, set it up. Sue Bailey, the Reno Star, everything."
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"Madam President, who would you say"
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"would be your best person to be at that meeting as my number two?"
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"- I could. - Richard."
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"Oh, well."
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"Okay, listen, I need to talk to Bob privately,"
Veep
"so everybody get out, please."
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"- Even... - Yeah-huh."
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"Bob, I am going crazy here in DC."
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"I just... I feel trapped"
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"like a Saudi housekeeper."
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"Is there any way I could get to Nevada?"
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"Just let me win the presidency for you"
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"and then you can land Air Force One on the Strip"
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"and piss in Caesar's fountain if you want."
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"Oh, come on, please, Bob, I would never stay at Caesar's."
Veep
"Yes? What?"
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"Ma'am, weekly CIA briefing."
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"See? Crapistan's calling."
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"That's what I'm talking about. I'll talk to you later, though."
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"Catherine, do not use any of the vulgar parts."
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"Yeah, but that's like all of it, Mom."
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"- Well, then don't use it. - But it's a doc."
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"- A what? - A documentary."
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"Then say that."
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"Never heard back from you."
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"Late night?"
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"Sophie told you?"
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"What?"
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"No."
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"Gross."
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"You didn't tell me she worked for CBS."
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"Oh!"
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"Oh, this is too good."
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"Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS."
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"She works for CVS."
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"You sold your dick for bulk iced tea"
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"and off-brand cough syrup."
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"Don't worry."
Veep
"You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest."
Veep
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