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Clips from Veep - The Eagle (S05E05)

"I am not having a good year."
Veep
"Unfortunately, ma'am, the man we captured"
Veep
"is not, in fact, Abdullah Saeed."
Veep
"Do the Israelis know anything about this?"
Veep
"Because they're a sneaky bunch of fucks."
Veep
"Excuse me one second, ma'am."
Veep
"So Mike McLintock, tonight for 8:30. Thank you."
Veep
"Sorry, Kent, Salt and Moon, new restaurant."
Veep
"Impressive. How did you secure a reservation there?"
Veep
"Well, Sue uses my name for POTUS reservations,"
Veep
"so when I call, I get an amazing table."
Veep
"I'm back on food."
Veep
"Doctor says the cleanse caused no lasting damage."
Veep
"@POTUS is tweeting?"
Veep
"I'm the only one who's supposed to send her tweets."
Veep
"Ha, ha, ha, @RealCharlieBaird. Here's one for you now."
Veep
"The president is tweeting."
Veep
"She's tweeting?"
Veep
"Sorry, just... I just have to go in."
Veep
"The president has to..."
Veep
"I can't let you in there, sir, I'm sorry."
Veep
"Please, Marjorie, please. I have to talk to the president."
Veep
"- Please take a step back. - Look, please."
Veep
"Oh, no."
Veep
"- Uh, ma'am. - Yes?"
Veep
"It turns out our prisoner's name"
Veep
"is Abdullah Faeed, a local schoolteacher."
Veep
"What is he doing?"
Veep
"- What is that? - Beats me."
Veep
"Hi, ma'am. If you hear this, do not tweet."
Veep
"- Please, stop... ma'am? - Mike, what are you doing?"
Veep
"- You tweeted. - What?"
Veep
"About O'Brien. It wasn't nice."
Veep
"I just direct messaged Charlie."
Veep
"No, it was public. Everybody saw it on Twitter."
Veep
"- No, they didn't. - What did you tweet?"
Veep
"What? It was just some funny joke I was just..."
Veep
"- Oh, shi... - I pushed that feather button."
Veep
"I know, you tweet... that's a tweet."
Veep
"- That's a tweet. - Well, then delete it!"
Veep
"- Delete it! - Just delete it!"
Veep
"- Delete it! - Hey, hey, hey!"
Veep
"- What? Okay. - Not here."
Veep
"Gary, I did it the way you showed me to do it."
Veep
"But that's not the way I showed you to do..."
Veep
"That's exactly the way that you showed me to do it."
Veep
"Do you want me to show you again?"
Veep
"I'll tell you what I want you to do."
Veep
"Nothing, okay?"
Veep
"That's your punishment. Get out."
Veep
"Okay, I'll just go make some tea."
Veep
"You better not."
Veep
"The Swedish prime minister just retweeted your tweets with an LOL."
Veep
"Well, what the FOL are we supposed to do about this?"
Veep
"I suggest that we disavow the tweets."
Veep
"Phones are hacked all the time"
Veep
"to steal pictures of celebrities' penises and whatnot."
Veep
"- Oh, my God. - Hold that thought, Kent."
Veep
"Madam President, are you sure you did this?"
Veep
"What do you mean, am I sure?"
Veep
"Well, maybe the White House computers aren't as secure as we think."
Veep
"Maybe the firewalls have more holes in them"
Veep
"than a gold digger's diaphragm."
Veep
"My God, I hated those things."
Veep
"Wait a minute."
Veep
"- There was a breach earlier today. - Mm-hmm."
Veep
"Oh, my God, and maybe that breach concerned those tweets."
Veep
"Maybe it did."
Veep
"Oh, my God, maybe you had nothing to do with it."
Veep
"Oh, my God."
Veep
"In that case, China would be blamed"
Veep
"for your messages going public, maybe."
Veep
"So is that what I think happened?"
Veep
"That China tweeted this?"
Veep
"Oh, no, ma'am, no. You have no idea what happened."
Veep
"And neither does Mike, who would be outraged by this."
Veep
"Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea."
Veep
"No, you don't, Mike. History has proven that."
Veep
"Now, let me just run this by Bob"
Veep
"and see if he thinks blaming China is a good idea."
Veep
"- This can't leave this room. - Can or can't?"
Veep
"- It cannot, Mike. - Not!"
Veep
"Why don't you just tell the truth?"
Veep
"- I don't sound like that. - That's exactly how you sound."
Veep
"- No, I don't. - Spot-on."
Veep
"Yeah, it's pretty close."
Veep
"I don't know where you get that impersonation."
Veep
"Ma'am, you have to make a decision now."
Veep
"I mean, can I really blame another country"
Veep
"for something they didn't do?"
Veep
"It's been the cornerstone of American foreign policy"
Veep
"since the Spanish American War."
Veep
"This morning the White House cybersecurity was breached"
Veep
"by what the NSA has come to believe was a hack"
Veep
"that originated in mainland China."
Veep
"Mike, Mike, what about the president's tweet about Senator O'Brien?"
Veep
"The president was horrified."
Veep
"Horrified by this latest violation of cybersecurity."
Veep
"The president believes cybersecurity is paramount"
Veep
"for the United States' future survival."
Veep
"Kent, any progress on the ballots?"
Veep
"I've eliminated eight counties as potential locales,"
Veep
"but there's no way around my doing"
Veep
"a district-by-district regression analysis."
Veep
"Are we paying you by the word here, Kent, or what? Ben?"
Veep
"He needs more time. Ma'am, we got O'Brien on a live feed."
Veep
"Oh, boy. Well, we knew this was coming. Let's hear it."
Veep
"I will not dignify the president's petty remarks with a response."
Veep
"And yet he's responding."
Veep
"I do, however, want to point out"
Veep
"that over 29 million people"
Veep
"suffer from various forms of diabetes."
Veep
"- Oh, who cares? - What truly troubles me, however,"
Veep
"is President Meyer's timid response"
Veep
"to a clear act of aggression."
Veep
"Did you just see that? Okay?"
Veep
"We're gonna have to do something about China now."
Veep
"- No, you don't, ma'am. - I need to look strong."
Veep
"- If we lose Nevada... - Nev-add-a."
Veep
"...O'Brien is gonna kill us in the House over this China thing."
Veep
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