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Clips from The PJs (1999) - House Potty (S01E01)

"Still writing!"
The PJs (1999)
"Seal it with a lick 'cause a kiss don't stick."
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, shouldn't you be at work?"
The PJs (1999)
"No, I should not."
The PJs (1999)
"The Grand Master Flush has handled all my duties,"
The PJs (1999)
"freeing up my time for loftier pursuits like this."
The PJs (1999)
"I've invented a machine that browns bread by heatin' it."
The PJs (1999)
"You mean like a toaster?"
The PJs (1999)
"(EXCLAIMS) Where were you three days ago?"
The PJs (1999)
"(BUBBLING)"
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, stop playin' with your 40."
The PJs (1999)
"(BLOWING BUBBLES)"
The PJs (1999)
"(GROANS) Oh!"
The PJs (1999)
"Goodie, what's the matter?"
The PJs (1999)
"I'm bored. Bored out of my mind."
The PJs (1999)
"Ain't nothing to do, Muriel!"
The PJs (1999)
"There's plenty to do."
The PJs (1999)
"Why don't you go ride bikes with Calvin?"
The PJs (1999)
"I can't. We're not friends this week."
The PJs (1999)
"You know, Thurgood, maybe the Grand Master Flush could use a checkup."
The PJs (1999)
"Hey, that's not a bad idea at all."
The PJs (1999)
"It's been getting a lot of use."
The PJs (1999)
"I'm sure it could use some maintenance."
The PJs (1999)
"(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)"
The PJs (1999)
"Last call for Avery, party of one for number two."
The PJs (1999)
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you have a reservation?"
The PJs (1999)
"What?"
The PJs (1999)
"An Andrew Jackson and you can drain your Johnson."
The PJs (1999)
"Look, this is a toilet, not a country club. I can get in to a toilet."
The PJs (1999)
"Towel. Cologne. Your VCR."
The PJs (1999)
"I think not."
The PJs (1999)
"Breath freshener."
The PJs (1999)
"What are those? Tic Tacs?"
The PJs (1999)
"Mmm. Okay."
The PJs (1999)
"Get out of here, you Tac head."
The PJs (1999)
"Finally, I can get my hands back into the toilet where they belong."
The PJs (1999)
"GRAND MASTER FLUSH: All systems functional."
The PJs (1999)
"No further maintenance required."
The PJs (1999)
"Ever! Huh?"
The PJs (1999)
"Something's gotta be wrong with this thing. Let me take a look here."
The PJs (1999)
"Please do not touch my lid."
The PJs (1999)
"You have more germs under your fingernails"
The PJs (1999)
"than I have around my entire rim."
The PJs (1999)
"What? Look, I'm not going to stand here and take any of your lid."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, you are certainly not gonna sit, you filthy, filthy man."
The PJs (1999)
"Why, you! If you were in a ladies' room, I'd take you outside."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, what's this?"
The PJs (1999)
"Your resume. You're gonna need it. (LAUGHS)"
The PJs (1999)
"I'm not gonna need any... Oh, it's quilted."
The PJs (1999)
"How's the toilet, Thurgood?"
The PJs (1999)
"Did it require lots of your skilled maintenance?"
The PJs (1999)
"The toilet was fine. Everything's fine."
The PJs (1999)
"Fine. Fine. Finey-fine."
The PJs (1999)
"Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine."
The PJs (1999)
"You don't like that toilet, do you?"
The PJs (1999)
"(GROANS)"
The PJs (1999)
"If you don't like it, you can say so."
The PJs (1999)
"I hate it. I hate, I hate, hate,"
The PJs (1999)
"hate it, hate, hate, hate it!"
The PJs (1999)
"But why?"
The PJs (1999)
"It's out to get me, that's why."
The PJs (1999)
"It's not out to get you."
The PJs (1999)
"It's here to make your life easier."
The PJs (1999)
"That toilet's got your backside."
The PJs (1999)
"That toilet is putting me out of a job, Muriel."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, it's only a toilet."
The PJs (1999)
"If you don't want it here, just go down to HUD and tell 'em to take it back."
The PJs (1999)
"Muriel. Muriel, that's perfect!"
The PJs (1999)
"God, woman. If you weren't my wife, I'd kiss you."
The PJs (1999)
"(POUNDING ON WINDOW)"
The PJs (1999)
"You listen up and you listen good."
The PJs (1999)
"I want you to call your flunkies"
The PJs (1999)
"and have them hightail it down to my building"
The PJs (1999)
"and get rid of that lousy, stinking latrine."
The PJs (1999)
"Latrine? Oh lord, what has my sister done now?"
The PJs (1999)
"I ain't talkin' about your sister."
The PJs (1999)
"You know what I'm talkin' about."
The PJs (1999)
"I'm talkin' about that Grand Bastard Flush."
The PJs (1999)
"I want it out!"
The PJs (1999)
"The Grand Master Flush has proven itself"
The PJs (1999)
"to be extremely cost-efficient."
The PJs (1999)
"Oh, please. I'm 10 times more efficient than that thing."
The PJs (1999)
"And I can prove it, too."
The PJs (1999)
"What are you talkin' about?"
The PJs (1999)
"What am I talkin' about? Hmm."
The PJs (1999)
"I know, a equal contest."
The PJs (1999)
"Man versus machine."
The PJs (1999)
"If I win, the toilet goes."
The PJs (1999)
"And if you lose, it's next door for you."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, what's next door?"
The PJs (1999)
"Unemployment. Ha! Next!"
The PJs (1999)
"(ALL CHATTERING)"
The PJs (1999)
"I got to win this contest, Muriel."
The PJs (1999)
"I can't lose my job."
The PJs (1999)
"I'm too old to start from the bottom again."
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, this is the only job you've ever had."
The PJs (1999)
"What about the time I worked with the Highway Department?"
The PJs (1999)
"Community service doesn't count."
The PJs (1999)
"Welcome to the "Man Versus Machine" contest."
The PJs (1999)
"Today's competition is brought to you"
The PJs (1999)
"by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, HUD, the poor people people."
The PJs (1999)
"Now, let's get ready to rooter!"
The PJs (1999)
"(BELL DINGS) Hey, hey!"
The PJs (1999)
"In this corner, at 132 pounds, drippin' wet,"
The PJs (1999)
"the lean, mean, porcelain machine."
The PJs (1999)
"The great white hope, Grand Master Flush!"
The PJs (1999)
"(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL CHEERING)"
The PJs (1999)
"And in this corner, with a blood pressure of 240 over 120,"
The PJs (1999)
"and a heart the size of three men,"
The PJs (1999)
"our very own overweight and out-of-shape Thurgood Stubbs!"
The PJs (1999)
"(CRICKET CHIRPING) Huh?"
The PJs (1999)
"(GROANS)"
The PJs (1999)
"(SQUISHING CRICKET)"
The PJs (1999)
"Uh, I tried to sell you, Thurgood, but they ain't buyin'."
The PJs (1999)
"Could you please start the contest?"
The PJs (1999)
"All right. We will begin the contest"
The PJs (1999)
"with the cloggin' of the toilets."
The PJs (1999)
"We've asked the tenants to bring their most clog-worthy items."
The PJs (1999)
"Mrs. Avery?"
The PJs (1999)
"Cloth diapers. You can't prove they're mine."
The PJs (1999)
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