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Clips from The PJs (1999) - House Potty (S01E01)

"NARRATOR: Once upon a time in the projects."
The PJs (1999)
"Eleven clogged toilets, Muriel."
The PJs (1999)
"Eleven clogged toilets today."
The PJs (1999)
"That's a janitor's dozen."
The PJs (1999)
"(SIGHS)"
The PJs (1999)
"The only thing that gets me through days like this"
The PJs (1999)
"is knowin' that I get to come home to you."
The PJs (1999)
"Oh, Thurgood."
The PJs (1999)
"(GULPS) Ah!"
The PJs (1999)
"If only toilets went down as smooth as you."
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, here's your mail."
The PJs (1999)
"Uh, let's see. Bill. Bill."
The PJs (1999)
"Tickets to the NBA Finals?"
The PJs (1999)
"(LAUGHS) Keep tryin', FBI. Keep on tryin'."
The PJs (1999)
"Hey, Modern Super Quarterly!"
The PJs (1999)
"Oh boy, it's the Supers of the Big Tenement issue."
The PJs (1999)
"Get real! No super has a body like this. It's all airbrushed."
The PJs (1999)
"Oh! Oh, please!"
The PJs (1999)
"That hammer's obviously..."
The PJs (1999)
"Oh! Look at that porcelain goddess."
The PJs (1999)
"Heaven must be missin' a toilet."
The PJs (1999)
"What is it, Thurgood?"
The PJs (1999)
"It's a toilet!"
The PJs (1999)
"A toilet that never needs plungin'."
The PJs (1999)
"Look here, it says,"
The PJs (1999)
""Our patented, power flush technology""
The PJs (1999)
""is guaranteed to eliminate even the toughest clog or your money back.""
The PJs (1999)
""Offer void in Texas.""
The PJs (1999)
"Muriel, think of all the free time I'll have if we get this thing."
The PJs (1999)
"I'll finally be able to finish grad school!"
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, that's grade school."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, either way, I'm gonna be whuppin' some dodgeball ass."
The PJs (1999)
"HUD LADY: Next!"
The PJs (1999)
"(CLEARS THROAT) Yes, uh, I'm here to requisition"
The PJs (1999)
"a Grand Master Flush, the toilet of tomorrow."
The PJs (1999)
"Fine. Come back tomorrow. Next!"
The PJs (1999)
"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Now hold on."
The PJs (1999)
"We both know how this works."
The PJs (1999)
"I ask for something, you say, "Next.""
The PJs (1999)
"I say, "Uht!" We go back and forth a few times."
The PJs (1999)
""Next." "Uht." "Next." "Uht.""
The PJs (1999)
"So why not just give me the toilet"
The PJs (1999)
"and save us both a lot of trouble. What do you say?"
The PJs (1999)
"Next! Uht!"
The PJs (1999)
"Look, I ain't leavin' here without my Grand Master Flush."
The PJs (1999)
"According to my records,"
The PJs (1999)
"your building doesn't have enough money left in its budget."
The PJs (1999)
"So what are you saying? That if I get my budget down and raise the money on my own,"
The PJs (1999)
"the Grand Master Flush is mine?"
The PJs (1999)
"That and next!"
The PJs (1999)
"(GRUMBLES)"
The PJs (1999)
"All right, everybody, calm down. Quiet. Quiet now."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, I called a special meeting tonight"
The PJs (1999)
"because I have wonderful news."
The PJs (1999)
"I personally have arranged with the good people of HUD"
The PJs (1999)
"to install something very special into our building."
The PJs (1999)
"What is it, Super?"
The PJs (1999)
"Well, I can't tell you right now. It's a surprise."
The PJs (1999)
"ALL: Ooh!"
The PJs (1999)
"(ALL MURMURING)"
The PJs (1999)
"I like surprises."
The PJs (1999)
"What is it?"
The PJs (1999)
"No, don't tell us."
The PJs (1999)
"What is it?"
The PJs (1999)
"Oh, don't tell us."
The PJs (1999)
"Maybe it's computers to help us get into college."
The PJs (1999)
"You wanna get into college?"
The PJs (1999)
"You better take up a sport."
The PJs (1999)
"Didn't you learn nothin' from watchin' Hoop Dreams?"
The PJs (1999)
"Look, all I can tell you is I'm bringing you the future."
The PJs (1999)
"Is it bleak? I bet it's bleak."
The PJs (1999)
"Well, could be. Could be."
The PJs (1999)
"Just gonna have to wait and see."
The PJs (1999)
"(EXCITED MURMURS)"
The PJs (1999)
"But the future doesn't come without sacrifices."
The PJs (1999)
"Sacrifice? Now you're talking my language."
The PJs (1999)
"(WHIMPERS)"
The PJs (1999)
"I'm not talking about that kind of sacrifice."
The PJs (1999)
"We need to reduce our expenses,"
The PJs (1999)
"which means cuttin' back on a few things"
The PJs (1999)
"that are standing in the way of progress."
The PJs (1999)
"Namely heat, electricity, and running water."
The PJs (1999)
"No heat? No water?"
The PJs (1999)
"How do you expect us to live that way?"
The PJs (1999)
"Same as we do now."
The PJs (1999)
"(ALL MURMURING IN AGREEMENT)"
The PJs (1999)
"Great. And mark my words,"
The PJs (1999)
"1999 will go down as the year the Hilton-Jacobs"
The PJs (1999)
"projects entered the 20th century."
The PJs (1999)
"A whole year early."
The PJs (1999)
"That sounds good! (ALL MURMURING)"
The PJs (1999)
"They're gonna be so surprised."
The PJs (1999)
"I figure one way to cut down on the..."
The PJs (1999)
"(STRAINING) water bill is to just recycle..."
The PJs (1999)
"the water we already got."
The PJs (1999)
"(GRUNTS)"
The PJs (1999)
"(HUMMING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(GARBAGE DISPOSAL ACTIVATING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(SANCHEZ MUMBLING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(FOOD SLOPPING FROM SHOWERHEAD)"
The PJs (1999)
"(SCREAMING)"
The PJs (1999)
"I'm naked and covered in garbage!"
The PJs (1999)
"I have become my father!"
The PJs (1999)
"By installing these low-light bulbs,"
The PJs (1999)
"we can save six cents every 35 years."
The PJs (1999)
"Super, isn't this a little unsafe?"
The PJs (1999)
"Oh, please. Nobody ever died from"
The PJs (1999)
"stumbling around a dark hallway."
The PJs (1999)
"(CRASHING) (AVERY SCREAMS)"
The PJs (1999)
"AVERY: I broke somethin'."
The PJs (1999)
"You broke it, you bought it!"
The PJs (1999)
"(CRASHING) (EXCLAIMS)"
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, how long do we have to live like this?"
The PJs (1999)
"I can't turn on the stove to heat up my hot comb."
The PJs (1999)
"I can't turn on a light to put on my makeup."
The PJs (1999)
"It's a good thing it's dark."
The PJs (1999)
"I probably look a fright."
The PJs (1999)
"Muriel, you look beautiful in any light."
The PJs (1999)
"Ahhh! Don't eat me!"
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, really."
The PJs (1999)
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