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Clips from The PJs (1999) - House Potty (S01E01)

"This nonsense has got to stop."
The PJs (1999)
"I can't stop now."
The PJs (1999)
"We haven't saved enough money to buy the toilet yet."
The PJs (1999)
"What else can we do?"
The PJs (1999)
"We've done everything but sell the building back to HUD."
The PJs (1999)
"Hey, that gives me an idea!"
The PJs (1999)
"Muriel, turn that off."
The PJs (1999)
"See, there, now I forgot what I was gonna do. Hmm."
The PJs (1999)
"People, I am happy to announce"
The PJs (1999)
"that our plan was a success and we have met our goal."
The PJs (1999)
"Just from cutting back on electricity?"
The PJs (1999)
"Well, that and I sold some unneeded luxury items back to HUD."
The PJs (1999)
"Luxury items? Like what?"
The PJs (1999)
"Well, just a few non-essentials"
The PJs (1999)
"like the, uh, handicap access ramp"
The PJs (1999)
"and the lighted exit signs,"
The PJs (1999)
"the smoke detectors, the furnace, the fire escape."
The PJs (1999)
"(SCREAMING)"
The PJs (1999)
"Somebody put me out!"
The PJs (1999)
"And, uh, the fire extinguishers."
The PJs (1999)
"Now, everybody, come with me."
The PJs (1999)
"It's time for your big surprise."
The PJs (1999)
"CALVIN: We'll put you out, Mr. Sanchez."
The PJs (1999)
"AVERY: Keep movin'. I want to see the surprise."
The PJs (1999)
"(SPEAKING SPANISH)"
The PJs (1999)
"All right, all right. Is everybody here?"
The PJs (1999)
"Everybody here? All right. Good."
The PJs (1999)
"Okay, Calvin, drumroll, please."
The PJs (1999)
"Behold! The only thing greater than myself."
The PJs (1999)
"(ELEVATOR DINGS)"
The PJs (1999)
"(THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA PLAYING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(ELECTRONIC BEEPS)"
The PJs (1999)
"SANCHEZ: A toilet?"
The PJs (1999)
"I got third-degree burns over 80% of my body for a toilet?"
The PJs (1999)
"Not just any toilet."
The PJs (1999)
"This is the Grand Master Flush!"
The PJs (1999)
"But we had no water. No electricity."
The PJs (1999)
"I went a whole month without shaving my legs."
The PJs (1999)
"(CHIRPING LIKE A CRICKET)"
The PJs (1999)
"Yeah, and wasn't it worth it?"
The PJs (1999)
"What kind of idiot would put a toilet in an elevator?"
The PJs (1999)
"A thinking man's idiot."
The PJs (1999)
"I made it centrally located for everybody's convenience."
The PJs (1999)
"What do we need a communal toilet for?"
The PJs (1999)
"We got a perfectly good outhouse on the corner."
The PJs (1999)
"What? We ain't got no outhouse!"
The PJs (1999)
"Just one more question."
The PJs (1999)
"How far up your ass do you want my boot?"
The PJs (1999)
"Hey, what are you people rushing me for? The toilet's over there!"
The PJs (1999)
"GRAND MASTER FLUSH: Greetings. I am the Grand Master Flush."
The PJs (1999)
"(ALL GASP) Hey, it talks!"
The PJs (1999)
"(LAUGHING)"
The PJs (1999)
"A talkin' toilet."
The PJs (1999)
"I pulled that same con 50 years ago"
The PJs (1999)
"at the San Berdoo county fair."
The PJs (1999)
"Where's the midget? In the tank?"
The PJs (1999)
"Hey, look, it's not a con. It really talks."
The PJs (1999)
"GRAND MASTER FLUSH: The seat is ajar."
The PJs (1999)
"The seat is ajar."
The PJs (1999)
"It's possessed! I like it."
The PJs (1999)
"They could've made his voice sound more human."
The PJs (1999)
"That's nothin', folks. Now get a load of this."
The PJs (1999)
"GRAND MASTER FLUSH: Hello, Thurgood."
The PJs (1999)
"Hello, Flushy."
The PJs (1999)
"Why don't you tell me a little bit about myself?"
The PJs (1999)
"(SPANISH FLEA PLAYING)"
The PJs (1999)
"He's the superintendent of the Hilton-Jacobs building in the projects."
The PJs (1999)
"And between naps in the boiler room and watching TV all day,"
The PJs (1999)
"he manages to get his hands down a few toilets."
The PJs (1999)
"Sorry, girls. He's taken."
The PJs (1999)
"Isn't that fantastic?"
The PJs (1999)
"And it's a Xerox machine."
The PJs (1999)
"(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)"
The PJs (1999)
"Damn, that's pretty good resolution."
The PJs (1999)
"(ALL EXCLAIM EXCITEDLY)"
The PJs (1999)
"'Course, the best feature of all is this bowl never gets clogged."
The PJs (1999)
"What if you flush down the gutted entrails"
The PJs (1999)
"of a middle-aged superintendent?"
The PJs (1999)
"It just rinses right away."
The PJs (1999)
"So what do you say? Should we keep the toilet?"
The PJs (1999)
"I say we got ourselves a house party!"
The PJs (1999)
"(ALL CHEERING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(SIRENS WAILING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(DOG BARKING)"
The PJs (1999)
"(HELICOPTER FLYING NEARBY)"
The PJs (1999)
"(GLASS SHATTERS) (CAR ALARM BLARING)"
The PJs (1999)
"You hear that, Muriel? Peace and quiet."
The PJs (1999)
"Peace and quiet. The phone hasn't rung all day."
The PJs (1999)
"I don't have no tenants calling me up"
The PJs (1999)
"and complaining about their clogged up toilets."
The PJs (1999)
"I think somebody owes somebody an apology."
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, I supported the idea of the Grand Master Flush."
The PJs (1999)
"I'm waiting."
The PJs (1999)
"(SIGHS) I'm sorry."
The PJs (1999)
"That's okay, Muriel."
The PJs (1999)
"You weren't the only nonbeliever."
The PJs (1999)
"HUD didn't wanna give it to me either."
The PJs (1999)
"Nerve of 'em."
The PJs (1999)
"And they got the audacity to call themselves the "Help Us Department.""
The PJs (1999)
"HUD stands for "The Department of Housing and Urban Development.""
The PJs (1999)
"Housing and Urban Development?"
The PJs (1999)
"That would be H-A-U-D."
The PJs (1999)
"Look, don't be ignorant, Muriel."
The PJs (1999)
"Do you really think the government of the USOA."
The PJs (1999)
"Would leave out a "and"?"
The PJs (1999)
"Now excuse me while I write HUD an angry letter. Hmm."
The PJs (1999)
""Dearest HUD, (CLEARS THROAT) how are you?"
The PJs (1999)
""I am fine. But you are not so fine."
The PJs (1999)
""If you really want to help the little people,""
The PJs (1999)
""and I don't mean the project elves""
The PJs (1999)
""that put clean socks and underwear""
The PJs (1999)
""in my drawer while I'm sleepin'...""
The PJs (1999)
"Project elves? I put..."
The PJs (1999)
"Muriel! Writing!"
The PJs (1999)
""It's time you see to it that the basic human needs""
The PJs (1999)
""like freedom, equality, and talking toilets""
The PJs (1999)
""are made available to everyone.""
The PJs (1999)
""Especially talkin' toilets.""
The PJs (1999)
"Signed "Your humble servant, Thurgood O. Stubbs, Esquire.""
The PJs (1999)
"Thurgood, are you sure?"
The PJs (1999)
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