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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Mr. Deadly Goes to Town (S10E10)

- It looks like The Artifact

"- It looks like The Artifact"

Archer

sealed itself up after you left.

"sealed itself up after you left."

Archer

- So we're stuck with you, huh?

"- So we're stuck with you, huh?"

Archer

- Yes. Though I can't trigger myself,

"- Yes. Though I can't trigger myself,"

Archer

I would like to explode at the earliest opportunity.

"I would like to explode at the earliest opportunity."

Archer

- Go right ahead!

"- Go right ahead!"

Archer

If killed, I blow up automatically.

"If killed, I blow up automatically."

Archer

Sort of obvious, when you think about it.

"Sort of obvious, when you think about it."

Archer

- So you lived your entire lifeon that thing, right?

"- So you lived your entire lifeon that thing, right?"

Archer

You've neverexperienced anything?

"You've neverexperienced anything?"

Archer

- I could access all the information in the galaxy.

"- I could access all the information in the galaxy."

Archer

But I suppose you're right.

"But I suppose you're right."

Archer

I didn't directly experience any of it.

"I didn't directly experience any of it."

Archer

- Aww.You must be horny as shit.

"- Aww.You must be horny as shit."

Archer

- The sole aim of my being is to explode.

"- The sole aim of my being is to explode."

Archer

- Been there, buddy.

"- Been there, buddy."

Archer

- We get it.You wanna explode.

"- We get it.You wanna explode."

Archer

But if you experience some stuff, then explode,

"But if you experience some stuff, then explode,"

Archer

you'd get the best of both worlds.

"you'd get the best of both worlds."

Archer

Maybe you won't want to explode at all.

"Maybe you won't want to explode at all."

Archer

- Unlikely, but intriguing. It is settled.

"- Unlikely, but intriguing. It is settled."

Archer

I shall experience... some stuff!

"I shall experience... some stuff!"

Archer

- Excellent.Laki Station is nearby.

"- Excellent.Laki Station is nearby."

Archer

It's a cargo depot,

"It's a cargo depot,"

Archer

but it has its shareof diversions.

"but it has its shareof diversions."

Archer

- I'm just gladI won't have to look

"- I'm just gladI won't have to look"

Archer

at that thing anymore.

"at that thing anymore."

Archer

- What is it with you and black holes?

"- What is it with you and black holes?"

Archer

- Ever heard ofspaghettification?

"- Ever heard ofspaghettification?"

Archer

- Oh, yeah, I did that once!

"- Oh, yeah, I did that once!"

Archer

Man, we went everywhere, nothing but sauce and starch.

"Man, we went everywhere, nothing but sauce and starch."

Archer

Nom-nom-nom-nom. [laughs]

"Nom-nom-nom-nom. [laughs]"

Archer

I put on 20 pounds.

"I put on 20 pounds."

Archer

- Pam, not spaghetti vacation!

"- Pam, not spaghetti vacation!"

Archer

I'm talking about the scientific term

"I'm talking about the scientific term"

Archer

for being sucked through a black hole's event horizon

"for being sucked through a black hole's event horizon"

Archer

and being stretched into a thin strip of matter,

"and being stretched into a thin strip of matter,"

Archer

screaming for eternity because of time dilation.

"screaming for eternity because of time dilation."

Archer

Spaghettification!

"Spaghettification!"

Archer

- We called ours "Pastafari."[chuckles]

"- We called ours "Pastafari."[chuckles]"

Archer

[eerie music]

"[eerie music]"

Archer

- [humming]

"- [humming]"

Archer

Ahh!

"Ahh!"

Archer

What are you doingin my inner sanct--

"What are you doingin my inner sanct--"

Archer

room where I sit quietlyand do nothing suspicious?

"room where I sit quietlyand do nothing suspicious?"

Archer

- You come here to dream of electric sheep?

"- You come here to dream of electric sheep?"

Archer

- Don't be a Dick.Androids can't dream.

"- Don't be a Dick.Androids can't dream."

Archer

But we do think real hardabout them.

"But we do think real hardabout them."

Archer

- And make illegal experimental weapons

"- And make illegal experimental weapons"

Archer

using our ship's supplies?

"using our ship's supplies?"

Archer

- What?No, that's not--

"- What?No, that's not--"

Archer

- Laki Station is notorious

"- Laki Station is notorious"

Archer

for black market deals.

"for black market deals."

Archer

I may just have a plan.

"I may just have a plan."

Archer

Stop that! - Oh, sorry.

"Stop that! - Oh, sorry."

Archer

I was just--electric sheep.

"I was just--electric sheep."

Archer

Like, do they plug in?

"Like, do they plug in?"

Archer

Mr. Deadly: My word.

"Mr. Deadly: My word."

Archer

I knew the life cycle of a cow,

"I knew the life cycle of a cow,"

Archer

the atomic structure of sucrose,

"the atomic structure of sucrose,"

Archer

but the experience!

"but the experience!"

Archer

- Yeah, well, ice cream is good.

"- Yeah, well, ice cream is good."

Archer

- [moaning] - Not that good.

"- [moaning] - Not that good."

Archer

Unless you've got onethat's foreplay flavored.

"Unless you've got onethat's foreplay flavored."

Archer

- Do they have that? - No.

"- Do they have that? - No."

Archer

And let's keep it simple for now.

"And let's keep it simple for now."

Archer

I hear they have a greenhouse that might

"I hear they have a greenhouse that might"

Archer

be fun to walk through.

"be fun to walk through."

Archer

- Good grief,

"- Good grief,"

Archer

there's more than this?

"there's more than this?"

Archer

- Yay, plants.

"- Yay, plants."

Archer

So what's the plan here?

"So what's the plan here?"

Archer

Stuff him in a cargo holdand bug out?

"Stuff him in a cargo holdand bug out?"

Archer

- No! Then he just blows up a bunch of other people.

"- No! Then he just blows up a bunch of other people."

Archer

We can make this work.

"We can make this work."

Archer

If we just find something he likes enough to live for.

"If we just find something he likes enough to live for."

Archer

- Oh, my God, you alwayshave to fix people, don't you?

"- Oh, my God, you alwayshave to fix people, don't you?"

Archer

This is why our marriagedidn't work!

"This is why our marriagedidn't work!"

Archer

- Really? It wasn't the fact

"- Really? It wasn't the fact"

Archer

that you slept with everything on two legs?

"that you slept with everything on two legs?"

Archer

- Hm...not always two.

"- Hm...not always two."

Archer

Krieger: This is a disaster.

"Krieger: This is a disaster."

Archer

There's only two people here!

"There's only two people here!"

Archer

Didn't you pass outthe brochures?

"Didn't you pass outthe brochures?"

Archer

- I did not.

"- I did not."

Archer

- But the mix tape doesn't makeany sense without--

"- But the mix tape doesn't makeany sense without--"

Archer

[gasps]Oh, my God.

"[gasps]Oh, my God."

Archer

- You didn't send the mix tape?

"- You didn't send the mix tape?"

Archer

Krieger and Pam: ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪

"Krieger and Pam: ♪ Sometimes you want to have fun ♪"

Archer

♪ Have fun

"♪ Have fun"

Archer

♪ Sometimes you just need a gun, blap-blap ♪

"♪ Sometimes you just need a gun, blap-blap ♪"

Archer

- The arms game is about connections,

"- The arms game is about connections,"

Archer

not your quasi-musical cry for help.

"not your quasi-musical cry for help."

Archer

This is allwindow dressing anyway.

"This is allwindow dressing anyway."

Archer

- This is bush league right here.

"- This is bush league right here."

Archer

- Thank you! - Yeah.

"- Thank you! - Yeah."

Archer

Hey, after this, let's hit the dead drop

"Hey, after this, let's hit the dead drop"

Archer

and then space taco.

"and then space taco."

Archer

- Mm, def.

"- Mm, def."

Archer

- Oh, my God!Are you guys spies?

"- Oh, my God!Are you guys spies?"

Archer

- Oh, my God, yell it out, hello.

"- Oh, my God, yell it out, hello."

Archer

- Got it!Do you guys have, like,

"- Got it!Do you guys have, like,"

Archer

an internship or something?I'm very sneaky!

"an internship or something?I'm very sneaky!"

Archer

- [skeptically] Mm-hmm. - I see you two have an eye.

"- [skeptically] Mm-hmm. - I see you two have an eye."

Archer

Let me show you the latest.

"Let me show you the latest."

Archer

Only for my special customers, you understand.

"Only for my special customers, you understand."

Archer

- Yeah, well, we are pretty special.

"- Yeah, well, we are pretty special."

Archer

- The PlasmoblastChaos Edition!

"- The PlasmoblastChaos Edition!"

Archer

Hold down the trigger,

"Hold down the trigger,"

Archer

and it fires at wildlyunpredictable intervals!

"and it fires at wildlyunpredictable intervals!"

Archer

- Why? - Revenge Body Armor!

"- Why? - Revenge Body Armor!"

Archer

When hit, it auto-injectsyou with painkillers

"When hit, it auto-injectsyou with painkillers"

Archer

and rage-inducingpharmaceuticals!

"and rage-inducingpharmaceuticals!"

Archer

- Why...

"- Why..."

Archer

- And finally, my magnum opus.

"- And finally, my magnum opus."

Archer

The personalized, identity-locked

"The personalized, identity-locked"

Archer

temporary singularity grenade.

"temporary singularity grenade."

Archer

- That all sounds...

"- That all sounds..."

Archer

- So dumb. - Thank you.

"- So dumb. - Thank you."

Archer

- What's dumb about a temporary black hole

"- What's dumb about a temporary black hole"

Archer

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