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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Desking (S01E01)

"I know. He can get a little obsessive, but..."
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"- Well, so can you. - Me? No."
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"No, Zach calls me "lovingly over-passionate.""
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"You know what? That's wonderful."
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"Oh, my God, it's a video of you and me from just now."
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"Oh! Oh, my God."
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"Like two minutes ago? That's so cool."
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"The kids are already spreading our message!"
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"(cheers and applause)"
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"Yep, there they are, spreading your message."
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"AVA: Aw, man. Why am I not getting these videos?"
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"I've done everything I possibly can"
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"to make my phone think I'm 22."
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"I haven't used capital letters in years."
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"My God. I cannot believe they betrayed our trust."
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"Okay, all right, we need -- we need to just"
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"make sure that this is an isolated incident and --"
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"- (door opens) - Yeah."
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"Sweet baby Jesus, and the grown one, too!"
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"My desks have been desked!"
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"- They got you? - Mm-hmm."
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"Oh, this is bad."
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"- Mnh! - Their fault."
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"They went on a desking promotional tour."
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"- No, uh -- - What have you done?"
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"- All right. - Guys?"
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"They have made fools of us."
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"I really thought that they looked at us"
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"as more than just teachers but, like, friends."
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"Maybe that's the problem."
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"They like us so much,"
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"they've forgotten that we're authority figures."
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"Whoa."
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"We're actually too cool for school."
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"Mm-hmm. And now this thing is spreading everywhere."
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"- We are losing control. - We're out of moves."
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"You lose Barbara, you lose the war."
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"We might have one move left."
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"We can tell the school district."
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"This is happening all over the city."
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"- Of Philadelphia. - Yeah."
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"So they will bring that hammer down"
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"and put an end to all this."
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"(inhales sharply)"
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"Do we really want to become narcs?"
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"I prefer "heroes.""
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"- So they were receptive? - Oh, very receptive."
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"They don't want to be sued"
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"if some kid slips and falls on a desk."
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"Hey, Ally, what -- what are you doing?"
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"You ain't hear?"
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"The school district's making us take all our desks"
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"- out of our classrooms. - AVA: Somebody snitched."
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"Told the school district that we have some dangerous viral trend"
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"that could leave the city at risk for "legal culpability.""
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"All because I wasn't trying to solve the problem at all."
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"What idiot thought the school district was gonna help?"
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"Huh. What -- Yeah, what well-intentioned idiot?"
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"Get all your desks to the gym"
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"until this whole thing blows over"
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"or there's some new trend that I don't hear about"
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"because life is a joke, people."
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"Come on. Hurry up."
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"Who knows when those kids'll start arriving."
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"They get here at 7:30."
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"Every day? That's wild."
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"Janine, how many times is tattling"
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"gonna bite you in the culo before you quit being a narc?"
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"Mm. I am too old to be doing all of this."
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"At least you guys are on the same floor as the gym."
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"Look, guys, I know this is a minor inconvenience,"
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"but at least we stopped desking."
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"- Right? Yay! - Mm."
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"Or we've created the greatest desking arena ever known to man."
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"What fresh hell is this?"
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"Oh, Janine."
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"It's like desking Six Flags!"
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"We are just leading the children into temptation, like Satan."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"Is it that bad?"
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"I think if I was a young person who was interested in desking,"
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"it might, you know, call to me."
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"Relax, y'all. I've been refreshing all my feeds,"
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"and we're in the clear."
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"There's no way the kids know about this."
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"You sure about that?"
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"(electronic voice) By the end of the week,"
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"I will desk the Abbott Elementary Gym."
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"(door squeaks open)"
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"- Oh, nooooo. - No!"
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"Okay, look. No, no, no. No."
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"Don't worry, don't worry, because we'll just take turns"
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"- guarding the entrance. - No!"
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"Why is my Internet not sending me anything cool?"
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"I should have gotten that video before Mr. Johnson."
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"No offense, boo. (chuckles)"
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"It is not your phone, Ava."
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"You are not one of them. You are not a Jojo Sea-bass."
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"You mean JoJo Siwa?"
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"I don't know what I mean, Janine."
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"That's the point."
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"But I do know that you all need to stop pretending"
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"like you can relate to these children."
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"Because when you do, it just seems sad, desperate,"
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"and embarrassing."
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"Mm."
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"You heard Barbara. Y'all are embarrassing."
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"I know your plan. Move it along."
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"That face don't work on me."
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"Need a partner for this shift?"
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"Oh, no. I'm good."
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"Just need two men for a stakeout and a foot chase."
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"Right."
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"All right, what do you want?"
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"You remember what you were talking about?"
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"- Nope. - (chuckles)"
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"About having a lot of jobs."
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"You ever have an experience where you wanted a different job"
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"than the one you were at?"
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"You liked the one that you were at,"
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