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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Desking (S01E01)

"but since it's not the one that you thought you wanted,"
Abbott Elementary
"you're a little conflicted?"
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"If you think I'm some sort of Black Yoda..."
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"Hmm, then correct you would be, Padawan."
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"You got to be open for what life brings you."
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"If I'd kept aiming for that one job"
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"I wanted so much when I was your age,"
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"you'd be looking at a very unfulfilled operations manager"
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"at Uncle Bradley's Baked Beans."
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"Damn, I wanted that job."
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"Must have had some good benefits."
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"And a ladder straight to the top."
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"- Yeah. - But, hey,"
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"without that rejection,"
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"I never would have found out the stuff that I love."
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"Yeah, man. I really wanted to be principal."
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"(chuckles)"
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"Then it didn't happen and..."
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"and now I think I'm mad."
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"You got plenty of time, youngin'."
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"JANINE: Attentions, please!"
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"(chuckles)"
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"I really felt like I was bonding with these kids"
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"and that they liked me,"
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"and as much as I felt that,"
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"and as much as Ava wants to be cool,"
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"Barbara was right."
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"Kids will always think teachers are lame."
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"Can't fight that, but we can use it."
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"Once I do this and those kids see it,"
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"desking will be corny and over."
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"Jacob, we rolling?"
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"- (rhythmic clapping) - MELISSA: Kill it!"
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"You got this, Janine."
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"- Whoo! (whistles) - Don't -- Don't say that."
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"- I don't believe that she does. - No. She's got it."
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"- She's not very coordinated. - She's gonna kill it."
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"- Oh! - (thud)"
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"- God. - And she's down."
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"Oh. Oh. I'm okay. No. Ow. I'm okay."
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"Ow. No, no, no. I can still do this."
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"You know, this is my Kerri Strug moment."
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"No, it's your "stay down and let me get you some ice" moment."
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"Okay? Y-Your ankle's blowing up."
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"You're not gonna be walking, let alone desking."
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"But someone has to do this."
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"Someone the kids will think is really lame."
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"- You got this, Jacob. - Yes."
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"Come on, man."
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"Hey. I got your sneakers."
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"I've been begging him to wear these."
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"These are the Honeydews."
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"Now, some people think that this color is sea glass,"
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"but that's completely ignoring the history of the entire --"
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"Babe, babe, task at hand."
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"Ah. You're right. I'm doing it again."
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"Anyways, the point is these were built for comfort and speed."
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"Also, I brought your shorts."
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"Oh, thanks, babe."
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"So, just out of curiosity, how'd you guys meet?"
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"Ohh, I was in a late night line for sneakers,"
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"and he was there protesting the inhumane work conditions"
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"of the place making the sneakers."
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"I got the limited edition - Smokey- - Foams and a man that day."
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"Oh. I get it now."
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"I forget that Black people can also be annoying."
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"- What'd you say? - (chuckles)"
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"(indistinct conversations)"
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"Hey, what's everyone watching?"
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"Yo, some white boul desked the gym!"
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"- - - Check it! - STUDENT: Whoa!"
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"He's wearing the Honeydew suedes."
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"(breathing heavily)"
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"Abbott Ultimate Desking Challenge."
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"Done! Teacher style."
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"- Whoa, what the -- - - - Whew!"
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"Is that Mr. C?"
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"Desking's deaded."
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"I can't believe the video worked."
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"Yeah. Those kids do not want to be us."
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"You know, the fact that we are doing this well"
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"without clout propping us up is some good old-fashioned"
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"being-pretty-darn-good- at-our-jobs."
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"Yeah. You're right."
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"But imagine what it'll be like"
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"when we actually do get them to think we're cool."
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"- Captioned by VITAC --"
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