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Clips from The Great North - Feast of Not People Adventure (S01E01)

"So I tried making cakes, because why not, right?"
The Great North
"You got to live, and it turned out"
The Great North
"I was pretty good at it. (sighs)"
The Great North
"But the Feast Cake is a whole nother beast... cake."
The Great North
"Well, surely you got to have some ideas."
The Great North
"Uh, maybe we can workshop 'em."
The Great North
"Here's the list I made in the library at lunch today."
The Great North
"Okay, it says "pie" crossed out seven times"
The Great North
"and then "cake.""
The Great North
"Well, cake's a good start."
The Great North
"What about... plain cake?"
The Great North
"Or-- here's a delicious cake idea--"
The Great North
"you could've told me,"
The Great North
"your Alaskan twin,"
The Great North
"aka best friend and..."
The Great North
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, or what about a cake"
The Great North
"shaped like a cupcake but so big?"
The Great North
"I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking."
The Great North
"Dirt. You can eat it if you have to."
The Great North
"(sighs) I got to go figure this out on my own."
The Great North
"Great. He'll just go do something all by himself,"
The Great North
"which is, well, something I'm totally fine with."
The Great North
"Ooh, or what about a cake shaped like a little cupcake"
The Great North
"and everybody gets one?"
The Great North
"Uh, that's just regular cupcakes, babe."
The Great North
"Oh, yeah. You're right. (chuckles) It is. Great call."
The Great North
"-(sucking sounds) -Uh, is something wrong, Judy?"
The Great North
"You finished that smoothie 17 minutes ago."
The Great North
"There's nothing left in there."
The Great North
"Something is very wrong."
The Great North
"Ham took up a new interest without telling me."
The Great North
"Oh. I hope it's not kites."
The Great North
"To watch a man fly a kite is just gross."
The Great North
"No, he's just baking."
The Great North
"But he's never shut me out like this before."
The Great North
"Well, it sounds like Ham's got his own thing going on,"
The Great North
"and that's perfectly natural."
The Great North
"People outgrow their dysfunctional"
The Great North
"codependent sibling relationships all the time."
The Great North
"We say "Alaskan twins.""
The Great North
"Sure. Fine. My point is,"
The Great North
"Ham's individuating and you have to set him free,"
The Great North
"like a bird."
The Great North
"Or a lynx that you brought home"
The Great North
"because it was cute but then turned out to be"
The Great North
"not that great of a pet."
The Great North
"I'm a firm believer in letting everything go."
The Great North
"Friends, family, your boyfriend,"
The Great North
"his lover."
The Great North
"But not his lover's boyfriend."
The Great North
"(chuckles): Oh. Gregory makes an amazing banana bread."
The Great North
"-It's so moist. -Oh, yeah."
The Great North
"It's unspeakably moist."
The Great North
"It's almost damp."
The Great North
"(indistinct chatter)"
The Great North
"(groans) I know it takes time"
The Great North
"to break in new gloves, but maybe a better name"
The Great North
"for Holdems might've been Razor Mittens."
The Great North
"-(chuckles): Or Lil' Bleedies. -Why don't you take 'em off"
The Great North
"-if they're bothering you so much? -(sputters) Bothering me?"
The Great North
"(chuckles) No way. I actually feel better"
The Great North
"when my hands hurt a lot, believe it or not."
The Great North
"(high-pitched yelp) That was just a primal battle scream"
The Great North
"meant to pump us up."
The Great North
"You feeling pumped up, my Beef man? (groans)"
The Great North
"-Here, gimme th... -Uh-uh, Dad."
The Great North
"This is the kind of stick-tuitiveness"
The Great North
"you can expect to see from me on dash day."
The Great North
"Ooh! Ah! Eeh!"
The Great North
"(grunting, groaning)"
The Great North
"Oh, this pressure is insane!"
The Great North
"The last Cake Lady is so lucky she's in jail."
The Great North
"Oh, hello, Brother. How goeseth the Feast Cake?"
The Great North
"-Ugh. Not good. -Oh, very well then, Hamuel."
The Great North
"Since this is your personal private affair"
The Great North
"and not both of ours, together,"
The Great North
"I shall take my leave of you now."
The Great North
"Um, okay. I'll just be down here not making the Feast Cake."
The Great North
"Hm. Have a pleasant evening, Mr. Tobin."
The Great North
"ALYSON: You have to set him free, like a bird!"
The Great North
"Or a lynx that you brought home because it was cute,"
The Great North
"but then turned out to be not that great of a pet."
The Great North
"Oof. Ham's really crappin' the cake pan down there, huh?"
The Great North
"Yes, and it is his prerogative to do so."
The Great North
"He is an Alaskan singleton now, as am I."
The Great North
"Two individuals, living as two."
The Great North
"But you're Alaskan twins!"
The Great North
"Yeah, well, only in name these days."
The Great North
"Alyson said I need to let him go."
The Great North
"But you hate letting things go!"
The Great North
"I know! I still have all my retainers."
The Great North
"Even my SpongeBob SquarePants retainer:"
The Great North
"SpongeMouth StraightTeeth!"
The Great North
"Okay, so, maybe you don't have to let him go."
The Great North
"I mean, I didn't get to be the living legend"
The Great North
"I am today all by myself."
The Great North
"Of course not. You had an entire team"
The Great North
"of managers, hair and makeup, midwives, etcetera,"
The Great North
"at every step along the way!"
The Great North
"Yes, and that's exactly the kind of encouragement"
The Great North
"and support that Ham needs."
The Great North
"So maybe instead of letting him go,"
The Great North
"you just need to hold onto him differently,"
The Great North
"like, side-hug him or something."
The Great North
"Ah. I'll side-hug him first thing in the morning."
The Great North
"Ham?"
The Great North
"HAM: "I'm sorry. I can't do it."
The Great North
""Gone to turn in my whisk and let the town know"
The Great North
""that I've failed them. Ham."
The Great North
""P.S. Do you have any idea where I might turn in my whisk?"
The Great North
"P.P.S. Never mind. I have to figure this out alone.""
The Great North
"HAM: Okay, okay, okay, there's the mayor. I'll just"
The Great North
"go over to him and hand him my whisk,"
The Great North
"and say, "Here's my whisk.""
The Great North
"And he'll say, "Okay. Why are you handing me a whisk?""
The Great North
"And I'll say, "Because I'm not baking a cake this year.""
The Great North
"And he'll say, "Oh, okay. Do you want your whisk back?""
The Great North
"And I'll say, "No. You keep the whisk, dear Mayor.""
The Great North
"And we will take a picture with me, him and the whisk."
The Great North
"And he will make me his deputy!"
The Great North
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