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Clips from The Simpsons - Paths of Glory (S27E27)

"has the permission of her husband to look for it."
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"There's a whole closet of these things!"
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"How many magicians do they have in this place?"
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"Find my journal, and it will lead you"
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"to my greatest invention!"
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"P.S. Nikola Tesla might have told you he broke up with me,"
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"but I broke up with him."
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"Aah!"
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"We've got to find that journal."
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"Ooh!"
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""Dear Diary, today I watched a neighbor's house burn down."
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"This will teach their dog to laugh at me.""
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"Whoa! Look at me! I'm enjoying reading!"
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"Guys, did you ever read something"
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"and think it was written just for you?"
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"Behold... the diary of Nathan Little!"
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""I pushed a vagabond under a trolley.""
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"What's a trolley?"
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"Old-timey subway."
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"What's a vagabond? Homeless guy."
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"What's a homeless guy?"
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"Ralphie! Come on, we got daddy-son tap class!"
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"Tap class!"
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"Hey, where is that kid? We got a recital next week"
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"and his timestep is terrible, let alone flair."
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"Tap class!"
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"Tuh... tap class?"
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"Ralphie, what is going on here?"
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"Bart made us read pages from a scary diary."
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"I was so a-scared, sour juice came out my front tail."
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"Bart wrote this? This is bad."
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"Ooh, really bad."
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"I don't think we're gonna make it to..."
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"tap class."
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"Chief Wiggum? Your son is dead..."
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"...inside."
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"That's bad, too."
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"Yeah, these are pages from your son's diary."
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"I'm afraid they very clearly show him to be..."
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"a sociopath."
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"Hm. Well, I've never seen Bart write in cursive,"
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"so I'm a little proud of that,"
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"but this is the worst thing"
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"that's ever happened to this family."
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"I-I'm sorry, Marge."
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"And... shuffle off,"
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"shuffle off,"
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"shuffle off."
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"Homie, I've learned something terrible about Bart."
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"You may want to have a drink. Way ahead of ya."
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"Chief Wiggum found these pages from our son's diary!"
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"Oh, I've had a long day."
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"Bart might be a sociopath."
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"Socio-what?"
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""Someone who can't feel empathy or guilt."
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"They do terrible things and don't care who it hurts.""
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"Don't answer that!"
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"It could be Bart!"
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"Bart has a key. What?! Who gave him a key!"
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"Hey, Mrs. Simpson."
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"Can Bart come over"
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"and see my grandfather's collection"
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"of Japanese swords and throwing daggers?"
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"Aah! Why don't you play with Lisa instead, hmm?"
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"Konnichi-whaaa...?!"
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"Hey, Milhouse."
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"Wow, this is a surprise."
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"I'm usually sweating when we talk, but not this time."
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"It's amazing how you can charm and disgust me at the same time."
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"That's just what happens"
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"when I'm with the prettiest girl in town."
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"Aw..."
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"Ew."
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"Amelia's journal tells us"
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"that her invention is buried in the basement"
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"of the Springfield Suffragette Society."
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"Ah... anyone ever tell you"
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"you're beautiful when you're sleuthing?"
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"Milhouse, did the Hardy Boys ever hit on Nancy Drew?"
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"Frank did, but Joe..."
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"let's just say there's a mystery about him."
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"The Suffragette Society was right here."
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"Oh... here?"
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"Hey, sweetie, you looking for your mom?"
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"I'll find her-- just, uh, give me her cup size."
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"Actually, we're here because your basement"
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"is home to a landmark of feminist history."
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"Do you mind if we poke around?"
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"The basement, eh? Yeah, that's where"
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"we wash the ketchup off the old onion rings."
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"So no. These guys want a children's menu?"
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"Nah, they're just leavin'."
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"Seriously, kids, I got to switch ten TV's"
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"over to the fourth round of the NBA draft, so get lost."
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"All right, Denver Nuggets on the clock, people!"
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"Okay, I found a test online"
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"that will tell us, once and for all,"
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"whether Bart is a... you know."
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"Wait a minute!"
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"We can't just give Bart"
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"something labeled "Sociopath Test"!"
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"He might look it up and set us on fire with his mind!"
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"You're right! We need Bart to think"
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"the test is for something else."
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"Finally! A use for the label maker!"
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"One of you betrayed me, and snitches lose their stitches."
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"Sit on my banana!"
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"Why, you little...!"
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"Where does he get this stuff?"
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"Hey, son, your mom and I just found this quiz"
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"you'd really love to take."
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""Are You a Jet Ski Dude"
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"or a Motocross Maestro?""
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"Remember to answer the questions honestly."
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"We want to know if you meet the clinical definition"
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"of "jet ski dude.""
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""I enjoy manipulating other people.""
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""I believe I'm being followed.""
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""Sometimes I feel as if I must injure myself or someone else.""
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"Agree, agree, agree."
The Simpsons
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