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Clips from Seinfeld - The Serenity Now (S09E09)

"- Morning, Braun. - Hey, George."
Seinfeld
"Two cream, no sugar."
Seinfeld
"What is Lloyd Braun doing here?"
Seinfeld
"- Your mother recommended him. - Yeah, of course she did."
Seinfeld
"All I ever heard growing up is:"
Seinfeld
""Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?""
Seinfeld
"You know he was in a mental institution?"
Seinfeld
"I didn't read his résumé."
Seinfeld
"Another sale, Mr. Costanza. Chalk me up on the big board."
Seinfeld
"- What is this? - This is your lagging."
Seinfeld
"- Good work, Braun. - Good for you, Lloyd."
Seinfeld
"So, Adam, I just talked to your father and apology accepted."
Seinfeld
"I'm not apologizing. It was great. I told everyone."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I know. By the way, could you do me a favor..."
Seinfeld
"...and tell Mitchell Tanenbaum that I'll be unable to attend this Saturday?"
Seinfeld
"Are you free Friday night?"
Seinfeld
"I am, but that is not the point."
Seinfeld
"You are 13 and I am in my early 20s."
Seinfeld
"But I'm a man. The rabbi said so."
Seinfeld
"No, you are not a man."
Seinfeld
"It takes a long time to become a man."
Seinfeld
"I mean, half my friends aren't even there yet."
Seinfeld
"Well, if I'm not a man, then this whole thing was a sham."
Seinfeld
"First he said I was gonna get great gifts..."
Seinfeld
"...and then somebody gives me Boggle."
Seinfeld
"- I renounce my religion. - Who wants cookies?"
Seinfeld
"As of this moment, I am no longer Jewish. I quit."
Seinfeld
"Walnuts."
Seinfeld
"You're late again, Costanza, so listen up."
Seinfeld
"Starting tonight, we're having a little sales contest."
Seinfeld
"The loser gets fired, the winner gets a Waterpik."
Seinfeld
"You're not giving away our Waterpik!"
Seinfeld
"Serenity now."
Seinfeld
"You know what? It doesn't matter, because I quit."
Seinfeld
"I guess your mother was right."
Seinfeld
"You never could compete with Lloyd Braun."
Seinfeld
"You want to sell computers? I will show you how to sell computers."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Mr. Finerman. You wanna buy a computer?"
Seinfeld
"No? Why not?"
Seinfeld
"All right, I see. Good answer. Thank you."
Seinfeld
"Serenity now!"
Seinfeld
"Adam, you don't become a man overnight."
Seinfeld
"Look at your father. It takes time, patience, experience..."
Seinfeld
"...several careers of varying success."
Seinfeld
"These are things that I look for in a man."
Seinfeld
"Well, that does me a lot of good. "Early 20s.""
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm sorry, sir, I tried."
Seinfeld
"So that's the type of guy you're looking for?"
Seinfeld
"I guess so. Why?"
Seinfeld
"- What is this? - Anytown, U.S.A."
Seinfeld
"Hello. Is Kramer home?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, hey."
Seinfeld
"Hello, neighbor."
Seinfeld
"Boy, those azaleas are really coming in nicely."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you gotta mulch. You've got to."
Seinfeld
"- You barbecuing tonight? - Right after the fireworks."
Seinfeld
"So where do you wanna eat tonight?"
Seinfeld
"How about going back to La Caridad?"
Seinfeld
"Again? How much flan can a person eat?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you've been yelling at me all afternoon."
Seinfeld
"Well, I don't think more flan is the answer."
Seinfeld
"- Maybe I should just leave. - Maybe?"
Seinfeld
"- Goodbye. - Double goodbye."
Seinfeld
"Hey, buddy."
Seinfeld
"Hey, happy New Year."
Seinfeld
"Y'all come back real-"
Seinfeld
"- Did you and Patty just break up? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"In fact, she broke up with me. And I don't wanna talk about it."
Seinfeld
"Then you're free tonight. I heard about this great place called La Caridad."
Seinfeld
"That's the last thing she said to me."
Seinfeld
"She wanted to go there also, but I wasn't in the mood."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, what is the matter? - It's Patty."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you break up with a girl every week."
Seinfeld
"What is this salty discharge?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, you're crying."
Seinfeld
"This is horrible."
Seinfeld
"I care."
Seinfeld
"Patty won't call me back. I don't know if I can live without her."
Seinfeld
"She's really gotten to you, hasn't she?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't know what's happening to me. - It's simple."
Seinfeld
"You let out one emotion, all the rest will come with it."
Seinfeld
"It's like Endora's box."
Seinfeld
"That was the mother on Bewitched. You mean Pandora."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, she had one too."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Seinfeld
"That's it. That's it, I warned you kids."
Seinfeld
"I told you not to play in front of my house."
Seinfeld
"This time, I'm keeping it."
Seinfeld
"And you're not getting your rock back either."
Seinfeld
"Hall urchins."
Seinfeld
"Are you still down in the dumps? Come on, it's just a chick."
Seinfeld
"You ever heard of a little thing called feelings?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I got just the thing to cheer you up."
Seinfeld
"A computer."
Seinfeld
"You could check porn and stock quotes."
Seinfeld
"Porn quotes."
Seinfeld
"I'm so lucky to have a friend like you, George."
Seinfeld
"I ever tell you how much I love you?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - I love you, George."
Seinfeld
"- Come here. - I'm already here. I'm here. I'm here."
Seinfeld
"You know what, if you want a computer, call me. I gotta go."
Seinfeld
"Go wherever you want, I'm still gonna love you."
Seinfeld
"Look what they did. Look what they did to my house."
Seinfeld
"I turn my back for two seconds..."
Seinfeld
"...and they put shaving cream all over the door."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I see you!"
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna teach these kids a lesson."
Seinfeld
"Where's that hose I put under your sink?"
Seinfeld
"Hose under my sink. I love you, Kramer."
Seinfeld
"- I love you too. And George- - I don't wanna hear it."
Seinfeld
"When I give you the signal, turn this water on full blast."
Seinfeld
"- Signal? What signal? - I don't know, I'll yell hoochie mama."
Seinfeld
"All right, if I do it, will you buy a computer?"
Seinfeld
"On the signal, George. On the signal."
Seinfeld
"Only if you buy. I gotta make a sale."
Seinfeld
"- I love you, Costanza. - Will you shut up?"
Seinfeld
"Now, George! Turn on the faucet. George, turn on the faucet."
Seinfeld
"Hoochie mama. Hoochie mama. Hoochie mama."
Seinfeld
"So, now, the other Lippman kissed me."
Seinfeld
"Oh, sure. They're Jewish and you're a shiksa."
Seinfeld
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