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Clips from Betas - Kid Charlemagne (S01E01)

"Mikki does marketing."
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"Maybe she could, I don't know, do, like, a viral campaign"
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"- for us or something? - Speaking of thinking"
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"with your dick... Ch-ch-ch-ch... check it out!"
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"What is that?"
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"This, my brilliant brown friend, is the RealTouch."
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"It's like a robot pussy... on steroids."
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"Cyber-bush is bad news, dude, uh..."
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"Number Six, Buffybot, the chick from "Blade Runner,""
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"- Cherry 2000... - (mechanical humming)"
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"Trey, stick a finger in. She's waiting for you."
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"She won't bite."
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"Thanks, I'm good. And I'm tweeting."
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"- I'm twatting. - (chuckles)"
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"What are you tweeting?"
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"Oh, not what. Who."
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"Jordan, hi."
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"Thanks for meeting me."
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"Oh, is this a meeting?"
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"I thought it was more of a rendezvous."
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"- You weren't followed, were you? - What?"
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"Lisa seemed pretty intent on keeping us apart,"
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"so just wondered if I should keep an eye out for spies."
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"(chuckles)"
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"Well, that Glass-hole looks a little shady."
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"Maybe we should find somewhere more private?"
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"- And I need another drink. - Oh, perfect."
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"Uh, you a whiskey girl?"
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"Since I was 12 years old."
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"Uh... (clears throat)"
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"This place rules!"
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"Oh, yeah!"
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"Dude, it's like 2:00 pm."
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"First of all, man, I don't think"
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"the company would provide beer"
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"if we weren't supposed to drink it. And second of all,"
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"this is about the closest thing I have"
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"to a paycheck, so denying me its frosty pleasure"
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"- would be kind of like advocating slavery. - Okay."
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"Is that the direction you want to go in, man?"
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"You want to be a slaver?"
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"- I do not want to be a slaver. - Good."
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"Son, you didn't tell me you played "Words With Friends.""
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"Yeah, man, this app is reserved"
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"for one-way communication with the ex."
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"It's like a Bat signal, only bitchier."
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"Ugh! What does she want?"
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"Besides alimony and my balls in a pouch?"
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"Aren't balls already in a pouch?"
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"Sack. Hey, can you give me a ride to the Mission?"
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"Uh, Mikki's coming in, like, an hour, so..."
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"Oh, yeah? You gonna eat that bento box?"
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"What?! No, you weirdo."
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"She just wants to check out the new digs, like, as a friend."
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"HOBBES: Okay."
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"Hey!"
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"Hey, hi, I'm Stuart."
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"What?"
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"Uh, Stuart, CTO of SikJeans."
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"We sell designer denim at wholesale prices."
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"It's "sick" in a cool way, uh, not..."
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"Oh! Hi, I'm Nash."
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"And I'm not into pants."
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"My, uh, co-founder, Devang, makes me wear the product,"
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"says we have to dog food our hardware."
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"CEO's..."
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"Sorry, I'm just, uh, a little overwhelmed."
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"Um, my co-founder said that we'd have our own office."
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"It's not exactly the Baxter Building,"
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"but we've got free broadband,"
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"sweet snacks, and not to mention"
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"those bangin'-ass hotties with the bargain-hunting app."
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"What's that?"
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"Ah! "Coding Challenge of the Week.""
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"This one's on Projection Perspective, and it's a bish."
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"I, uh, won the last three."
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"MITCH: The dye in the marshmallows"
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"was turning kids' poop pink,"
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"and so they were squirting this, like, weird salmon color."
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"And their parents were just, like, freaking out about it!"
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"They called it Frankenberry Stool!"
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"- (Hobbes chuckles) - Classic!"
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"Dude, Dane texted me."
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""Yo, chica, you still need dem Molleez for Treasure Island?""
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"This Skeletor-looking motherfucker"
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"still thinks this is Mikki's phone."
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"You gonna let him off the hook?"
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"No, dude, I'm gonna buy some "E.""
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"What do you think? 25 pills, is that cool?"
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"- Yeah, sure. - (chuckles)"
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"All right, done and done."
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"- Peace. - See ya."
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"Hey, are you sure about this, man?"
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"You told me your ex was a nightmare."
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"The junk wants what the junk wants."
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"See, we have to make social"
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"spontaneous and local, like real life."
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"BRB is gonna define that space."
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"You do realize it's been tried before?"
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"Like Highlight, KisMet."
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"That abomination Girls Around Me."
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"I mean, people still value their privacy."
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"Not me, of course. I mean, I'm an open book"
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"or a psychotic narcissist, depending on who you ask."
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"No, those apps were cheap Foursquare knockoffs"
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"with a social component,"
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"and you know it. The key is..."
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"You know, if we got you out of that hoodie,"
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"you'd almost be handsome."
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"I should set you up with the Gustin guys."
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"Thanks, but I don't crowd-source my clothes."
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"Oh, well maybe you should."
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"Your style could use a little update."
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"Sorry, is that too frank?"
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"No, I just don't care about style; I care about efficiency."
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"You know, research shows that wasting brain power"
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"on small decisions like fashion actually"
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"erodes your ability to make bigger ones."
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"Ooh, stats! Just what the ladies like."
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"- What? - (sniffs) Hold that thought."
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