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Clips from Veep - The Choice (S03E03)

"How could we get it all on the graph, Gary, if it wasn't that simple?"
Veep
"It isn't that simple, all right?"
Veep
"This is about access to safe abortions for vulnerable women."
Veep
"- It is a serious issue. - Yeah."
Veep
"- I've laid out a line of fruit for you. - What is this?"
Veep
"It's the size of the baby in different stages during pregnancy."
Veep
"It would take a brain about this size to think that's this shit's useful."
Veep
"This is not helpful at all."
Veep
"And you need to stop calling these things babies."
Veep
"Okay, I was thinking we need to get the number of weeks"
Veep
"and the interest groups up on a..."
Veep
"Oh, good. Nice job."
Veep
"Holy shit. Maddox is about to issue a statement in five."
Veep
"At 1:00 in the morning? What's his statement gonna be?"
Veep
"I have to go to the bathroom?"
Veep
"Rachel Hordenthal from Planned Parenthood"
Veep
"is heading to EEOB at 2:30 a."
Veep
"Boom, boom, shake-shake the womb!"
Veep
"Selina's calling in the contraceptistas!"
Veep
"We're gonna blog this shit to fuck."
Veep
"Mark, get a screen grab of that fetus from the end of 2001, all right?"
Veep
"Send it to me."
Veep
"- Maddox has just made a statement. - What is it?"
Veep
"Science may give us the map, but we are lost without morality's compass."
Veep
"The right to free speech includes the right to free thought."
Veep
"I can't in all conscience politicize this as an issue."
Veep
"- Ah. - Jesus, what a talking gas giant."
Veep
"It's like listening to Jupiter."
Veep
"Well, he fucking fudged it."
Veep
"So now we know he's running for president. That stupid bastard."
Veep
"Ma'am, Maddox said nothing, but at least he said something."
Veep
"We've literally said nothing."
Veep
"Meanwhile, that shit shovel-faced fuckin' Jonah"
Veep
"is telling people you're feeling out options. We need to pick a number."
Veep
"No, I know, but I need to get clarity here."
Veep
"- I'm not feeling it. - I was clear."
Veep
"I was clear. We just need to pick a fucking number,"
Veep
"any fucking number. Give that fucking number to the fucking press,"
Veep
"and go to fucking bed! How much more clarity do you need?"
Veep
"You want to put it on a T-shirt? Come on!"
Veep
"I'm so sorry. I did not mean to blow up like that."
Veep
"Well, um..."
Veep
"I accept your apology"
Veep
"while retaining the right"
Veep
"to fire the fuck out of you."
Veep
"Shall I print that up on a T-shirt that I could give to you?"
Veep
"This whole thing has got me on edge."
Veep
"I was puking my brains out on that boat for hours."
Veep
"Jonah's got me absolutely homicidal."
Veep
"- I'm sorry. - Uh-huh."
Veep
"- You need to apologize. - He did apologize."
Veep
"You need it in writing!"
Veep
"Look, I love abortion, okay?"
Veep
"I am an abortionado."
Veep
"But I would go pro-life"
Veep
"in a fetal fucking heartbeat if it meant winning."
Veep
"You're suggesting that you would like me to be a hypocrite like Maddox?"
Veep
"Okay, so you need to go home."
Veep
"Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"Moving on... and Dan may be quite soon..."
Veep
"someone needs to go get Cardinal Branzini."
Veep
"Oh, my God. The Catholics next."
Veep
"Madam Vice President, Cardinal Branzini."
Veep
"- Madam Vice President. - Oh, Cardinal."
Veep
"- Am I in the right room? - Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes."
Veep
"- Oop, excuse you. - Sorry. Excuse me."
Veep
"I'd love to take you into the inner sanctum."
Veep
"How very Dan Brown."
Veep
"This way, Cardinal, thank you."
Veep
"Come on in."
Veep
"Here's something else to sew into your giant fucking crazy quilt."
Veep
"Jonah is now telling people that Selina's meeting with Planned Parenthood."
Veep
"Go home. Take an Ambien. Take 50."
Veep
"She's talking to everyone. I think the Amish are coming in next."
Veep
"I'm going home. And if anybody needs me,"
Veep
"- I don't care. - 'Night."
Veep
"We need to get in Rachel what's-her-face from Planned Parenthood."
Veep
"Gary, could you finesse that for me?"
Veep
"Yes, yes. Whoo! I thought you were going to say Sue."
Veep
"I don't need an enhanced role to know my worth, Gary."
Veep
"Mike, I need you to steer in Cunningham."
Veep
"He's pro-life, so keep him away from Rachel or he'll kill her."
Veep
"- Copy. - Sue, help Kent finish polling now."
Veep
"Okay, but if he touches my hair, I'm calling the police."
Veep
"- Okay. - I don't need my bag."
Veep
"I don't need my bag."
Veep
"I don't need my bag."
Veep
"I really did want to see you first, Your Excellency,"
Veep
"because I wanted to get a little extra time with you."
Veep
"Let me just do one quick thing, excuse me."
Veep
"Make sure you cancel everything, please,"
Veep
"so I can get plenty of time with the cardinal."
Veep
"Okay? Yeah."
Veep
"Okay, so now the phones have taken a vow of silence."
Veep
"Okay, we're right this way."
Veep
"That is a gorgeous color on you, by the way."
Veep
"Thank you. So where is the VP's thinking on this?"
Veep
"Thinking... There's a lot of numbers being thrown out."
Veep
"Speaking of numbers, there's over 30,000 tiles..."
Veep
"That's not really the kind of numbers I'm talking about."
Veep
"Okay, you know what? It's actually this way."
Veep
"- Did you find the place okay? - Are you lost?"
Veep
"No. This is what we call the grub hub."
Veep
"I'll see you at St. Stephen's on Sunday."
Veep
"- Excellent. - Great."
Veep
"Oh, my God."
Veep
"Uh, thank you for your service."
Veep
"Oh, of course, yes. I have the vice president right here."
Veep
"Ma'am, I have the ACCDP on the line for you."
Veep
"I'm gonna put you on speaker."
Veep
"- Hello? - Hello."
Veep
"- Who are they? - The Anti..."
Veep
"no, the Anti-Abortion..."
Veep
"no, the Association of... it's in my phone."
Veep
"- Can you hear me? - Yes, I can. I can."
Veep
"Madam Vice President. It's such an honor."
Veep
"Thank you so, so much."
Veep
"You know, I really did want to speak with you first"
Veep
"because I wanted to make sure"
Veep
"that we got a little extra time to talk together."
Veep
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