Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Veep - The Choice (S03E03)

"Were you on an RB-M or an RB-S II?"
Veep
"We really can't talk about the boat right now,"
Veep
"because, Mike, we're trying to figure out how I think"
Veep
"- about this issue. - Okay."
Veep
"The Post wants to know if you've changed your stance on abortion..."
Veep
"- Re: POTUS. - Yeah."
Veep
"So you could say, As a woman I believe..."
Veep
"No, no, no! No, no, no!"
Veep
"I can't identify myself as a woman."
Veep
"People can't know that. Men hate that."
Veep
"And women who hate women hate that..."
Veep
"which I believe is most women, don't you agree with that?"
Veep
"Yes, and, ma'am, we should bag this up and take it back to DC."
Veep
"- Good idea. - Yeah. Right."
Veep
"Oh, Jonah knows we opened a campaign office."
Veep
"He came by my house... Wendy's house."
Veep
"You let that unstable"
Veep
"piece of human scaffolding into your house?"
Veep
"And you didn't shoot him?"
Veep
"Oh, hey, Ben, I didn't know you were on the phone."
Veep
"I swear to God, I felt better on the fucking boat."
Veep
"Ma'am, didn't you write something about abortion in your book?"
Veep
"- Good point. Good point. - Oh! Yeah. Good, Gary."
Veep
"Where's the book? Does anybody have a copy of the book here?"
Veep
"- Guys, who has a copy? - What did she write?"
Veep
"You know what? I have a bunch of unsold ones in my car."
Veep
"Honey, is Selina's book in the bathroom?"
Veep
"Okay, here we go... Abbey Road... Abolition... Aboriginal mask..."
Veep
"- Page 135. - Oh, this is it."
Veep
"Freedom is what this nation is built on... blah, blah, blah..."
Veep
"and freedom means the freedom to choose"
Veep
"how to use that freedom to protect the freedom of others."
Veep
"Sorry, that's just pastel-colored shit."
Veep
"It's gotta be more clear than that."
Veep
"You make it very clear you're pro-choice."
Veep
"Okay, I got it... Freedom is what this nation..."
Veep
"Done it, Mike. It's gonna come down to the cutoff week."
Veep
"- It always does. - There's two doors, okay?"
Veep
"- Pro-choice, pro-life. - Yeah."
Veep
"There's no point in rattling the handles on either one of them."
Veep
"You just gotta pick a door and walk through it."
Veep
"Ma'am, Kent Davison called."
Veep
"There was an issue with the patch-through... It doesn't matter."
Veep
"Message... Urgent, have booked you to appear on 'GMA' at 7:00."
Veep
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
Veep
"Give me this, God damn it."
Veep
"- He said 7:00 a.m.? - It's Good Morning America, Amy."
Veep
"- The clue is in the title. - Ame, can we...?"
Veep
"- We can't unbook you. - No, no. That would look bad."
Veep
"Jesus. Fucking Kent."
Veep
"I can't listen to that Joan Crawford bitch about Bette Davis any longer."
Veep
"Well, this is POTUS, you know?"
Veep
"This is the president trying to tell me what to do."
Veep
"He can't do that. I'm Vice President of the United States."
Veep
"That's right. That's right. And as vice president,"
Veep
"here's your choice... two doors,"
Veep
"pro-choice, pro-life. That's it."
Veep
"Is there a third door?"
Veep
"- What, like a woman's door? - A back door? No."
Veep
"A trapdoor?"
Veep
"This is Jonah Ryan"
Veep
"and you are witnessing the birth of Ryantology."
Veep
"Old media like The Washington Toast"
Veep
"better go run and hide in the bathroom and join The Poo York Times."
Veep
"Because we are cutting in."
Veep
"I'm going to be updating more than I'm actually dating,"
Veep
"which is a shitload."
Veep
"First up, abortion."
Veep
"And now that the president's given his State of the Uterus address,"
Veep
"where will the others fall in?"
Veep
"We have Maddox. He's conservative."
Veep
"Chung, he's liberal."
Veep
"But where does Selina Meyer stand?"
Veep
"The first call could rule them all."
Veep
"- How do I turn this off? - Just hit the red button."
Veep
"- There are two. There's one on the side. - Just the one in the middle."
Veep
"Why do I gotta deal with this pile of ass in the middle of the night?"
Veep
"Because we need to get first dibs on a statement."
Veep
"Well, you know what I think. I'm a Christian."
Veep
"- I'm not going to deny that. - Please, do not go religious."
Veep
"- Go ambiguous. - By saying what?"
Veep
"Blah, blah, blah, blah... abortion, blah, blah blah blah?"
Veep
"- Sounds good to me. - Well, you fill in the blahs."
Veep
"I'm going back to bed."
Veep
"Okay, ma'am, you have the AMA/ACOG,"
Veep
"West Wing, 1:30 a.m."
Veep
"Planned Parenthood at 2:30 a.m. in the EEOB to avoid a clash."
Veep
"Unflabby precision. Excellent."
Veep
"Okay, how about this... A woman has autonomy"
Veep
"over her own body."
Veep
"But the rights of an unborn ch..."
Veep
"uh, I thought I had it there."
Veep
"Maybe I should just say,"
Veep
"Get the government out of my fuckin' snatch, you know?"
Veep
"How many pressure groups do we have in all, Sue?"
Veep
"Pro-life, 45."
Veep
"Pro-choice, about the same."
Veep
"Is there a pro-I don't give a shit lobby?"
Veep
"Yeah. You're looking at him."
Veep
"I got posters, buttons..."
Veep
"not really, 'cause I don't give a shit."
Veep
"If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM."
Veep
"Let's state the obvious."
Veep
"If I say that I am pro-life, then I'm a traitor to my sex."
Veep
"If I say that I'm pro-choice, then I'm a traitor to the president."
Veep
"Which makes me an actual traitor, by the way."
Veep
"- You know that? - Yeah, but it already happened, okay?"
Veep
"I can't get POTUS to wave his transvaginal wand"
Veep
"and make it all go away."
Veep
"Ma'am, your gender is worth at least double on this issue."
Veep
"Data's right. As a woman, you can really kick ass."
Veep
"As a woman,"
Veep
"I am not gonna put in a fuckin' sentence, as a woman."
Veep
"I'm not putting my eggs in that basket."
Veep
"All right, I'll start polling... Nice dress."
Veep
"- It's a skirt and top. - Even better."
Veep
"Okay, so are we gonna say screw polling and just pick a number"
Veep
"or both, or what?"
Veep
"- God, it's not that simple, Dan. - Yes, Gary, it is."
Veep
"- Have you seen the graph? - Yeah."
Veep
Show more clips