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Clips from Never Have I Ever - ...had a valentine (S03E03)

"Mohan, no."
Never Have I Ever
"We agreed last year no Valentine's Day gifts."
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"This is different. You'll like it."
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"I spent hardly any money."
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"[sentimental music playing]"
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"You got me a bobblehead of you?"
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"Yeah."
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"Now you can knock me around when I'm being hardheaded."
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"Did you give yourself a stronger jaw?"
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"Well…"
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"Maybe."
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"[Nalini chuckles]"
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"[sighs] Nope."
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"No Valentine's Day plans"
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"other than tending to the many demanding people in my household"
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"who drain me of my money and energy."
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"Well, you should still celebrate."
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"Hey, you need to carve out some fun time for you."
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"Every day."
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"I already do that for six hours every night when I'm asleep."
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"That's not what I mean."
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"What are you doing tomorrow night? Let's have a gals hang."
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"Oh. Uh…"
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"I don't think I can."
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"Just really busy."
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"Sorry."
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"Okay, no worries."
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"But I'm gonna leave you my number just in case you change your mind."
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"-[Tracey] Dr. Vishwakumar. -[Nalini] Mm-hmm."
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"Your mother-in-law's on the phone."
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"She's accidentally locked herself in the garage again."
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"She said it's no rush, but the stove is on."
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"[Mr. Shapiro] Good morning, students."
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"Who knows what this is?"
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"That's a 34C, front clasp, demi-cup."
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"No, Trent. This is oppression."
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"Uh, they used to be made of more flammable materials."
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"The point is,"
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"we are starting our unit on the women's rights movement,"
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"and it will take us all the way till the end of the year."
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"We're studying the women's rights movement for the next four months?"
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"What about Watergate?"
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"What about Iran-Contra? What about 9/11?"
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"Uh, would you like to tell the women in this classroom"
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"that those events mean more to you than their rights?"
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"We need to know other things for the AP test."
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"Reclaiming my time."
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"The first assignment."
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"I need all of you to break up into groups"
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"and rewrite the Bill of Rights as if it were written,"
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"not by Founding Fathers"
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"but instead by Founding Mothers."
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"Can you believe this? This is why we need real textbooks."
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"Well, according to you, I don't read books."
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"So I guess I'm cool with it."
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"[students murmuring]"
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"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
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"Yeah, actually. My superhot boyfriend. Mm-hmm."
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"And he's a real psycho, so…"
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"-Damn. The cute ones are always taken. -[Devi] Mm-hmm."
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"[chuckles]"
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"How's your Valentine's Day going?"
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"It was good at the start,"
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"and then I got Eric on the compatibility quiz."
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"Mm. He's not so bad."
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"He's always the first to notice when I get a new haircut."
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"I guess."
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"I just kind of wanted to get my smokeshow boyfriend,"
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"but apparently the computer feels like he's out of my league."
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"Okay. First of all, you're my smokeshow girlfriend."
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"And secondly,"
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"the computer thinks you're exactly in my league."
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"[McEnroe] Hallelujah."
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"Who cares if Devi's perfect match was Eric"
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"as long as Paxton's perfect match was her?"
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"According to Nobel scientists,"
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"she was basically the only one in the whole world for him."
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"So suck on that, Haley."
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"-[fire whooshes] -[yelps]"
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"Oh, it seems as if it is still flammable. Everyone out!"
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"Men and teachers last."
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"[students murmuring]"
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"Yo, babe. [exhales] I have an amazing Valentine's plan."
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"Picture this, candlelight dinner."
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"You, me, my Uncle Joe."
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"Wear something sexy."
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"Yeah. Um, Trent, I think we should talk."
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"Oh wow."
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"Anytime someone says that to me,"
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"it always means great news."
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"Uh-huh. Yeah."
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"Well, I don't think I can come to Valentine's with your Uncle Joe."
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"Why? Is it because he hogs the crescent rolls?"
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"Or are you worried he's gonna try to put you in one of his TV commercials?"
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"One of his, 'scuse me, whats?"
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"His commercials. He owns a chain of blinds stores."
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"Chances are you've seen them while pumping gas."
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"Wait. Is your Uncle Joe Captain Joe,"
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"the pirate who makes high prices walk the plank?"
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"That's him. Yeah, whenever we have dinner together,"
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"he always ropes everyone at the table into being in his next commercial."
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"Oh, wow."
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"But we could always just go out to a restaurant."
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"No, I'll be there."
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"Valentine's Day is about family. Thanks for reminding me of that."
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"[both chuckle]"
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"[Ben] Hey."
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"Something wrong? You kinda bit my head off back there."
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"Yeah. Well, I didn't love the way you talked to me earlier."
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"That little library card remark was messed up."
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"Aneesa, I was just teasing. It was just a joke."
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"Was it a joke? You seem genuinely embarrassed by me."
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"Of course, I'm not embarrassed of you."
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"You're amazing, and pretty, and cool, and fun."
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"So what if you don't know who some dumb author is."
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"I don't expect you to know everything that I know."
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"There it is. Right there."
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"You're so condescending."
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"[inhales deeply] You know what?"
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"Hmm. Think I'm gonna take a rain check on Valentine's dinner."
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