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Clips from Lucifer - A Priest Walks Into a Bar (S01E01)

"Not today you don't."
Lucifer
"What happened when you saw him?"
Lucifer
"We exchanged words."
Lucifer
"Things got a little heated."
Lucifer
"What were you fighting about?"
Lucifer
"That altar boy of his, of course."
Lucifer
"Why were you fighting over Connor?"
Lucifer
"Because I'm worried that Arietta's gonna pull Connor"
Lucifer
"into his drug ring."
Lucifer
"So, what, you give him a right hook?"
Lucifer
"Sadly, I did."
Lucifer
"And then what? And then I left."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Ooh, no, no, no, I think you skipped a part, didn't you?"
Lucifer
"You know, the part where you beat him to death"
Lucifer
"with a baseball bat?"
Lucifer
"He's dead?"
Lucifer
"Oh, Heavenly Father."
Lucifer
"Oh, come on."
Lucifer
"How gullible do you think we are?"
Lucifer
"I had troubles with the man, but he didn't deserve to die."
Lucifer
"And I certainly didn't kill him."
Lucifer
"Can you account for your whereabouts"
Lucifer
"between 11:30 and 12:00 this morning?"
Lucifer
"Uh, I was here."
Lucifer
"Taking confessions."
Lucifer
"Mrs. Madison had a lot to say, took up the whole hour."
Lucifer
"By chance, does Mrs. Madison have a limo driver?"
Lucifer
"She does."
Lucifer
"Damn."
Lucifer
"Just spoke to his alibi."
Lucifer
"What?"
Lucifer
"The MILF in confession."
Lucifer
"Oh, great."
Lucifer
"Yeah, as much as I'm sure that followed protocol,"
Lucifer
"I'm still gonna have to question her myself."
Lucifer
"Father, I'm gonna need you"
Lucifer
"to come into the station for a statement."
Lucifer
"Well, maybe the padre has a twin brother"
Lucifer
"who also takes confession; that way he could still be guilty."
Lucifer
"Lucifer, seriously, will you just... (tires screeching)"
Lucifer
"Get down!"
Lucifer
"And you wonder why I don't go to church."
Lucifer
"CHLOE: I caught a partial from the shooter's plate."
Lucifer
"Can you run this for me?"
Lucifer
"- You got it. - Thank you."
Lucifer
"So I spoke to Father Frank's alibi."
Lucifer
"Checks out."
Lucifer
"He was in confession with Mrs. Madison"
Lucifer
"from 11:00 to 12:00."
Lucifer
"He's not our guy."
Lucifer
"(sighs) Well, maybe she's lying."
Lucifer
"I mean, you know the sort of people that go to church."
Lucifer
"Sinners. (chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Lab results from the voice modulator came back empty."
Lucifer
"No prints, no DNA."
Lucifer
"What, so you think this shooting"
Lucifer
"and the youth director's death are connected?"
Lucifer
"We know they have at least one thing in common."
Lucifer
"Father, you will be relieved to know that no one was injured."
Lucifer
"- Oh, thank God. - Please don't."
Lucifer
"You care to tell us what that was about?"
Lucifer
"The shooting?"
Lucifer
"I don't know."
Lucifer
"(scoffs)"
Lucifer
"This wasn't a random attack."
Lucifer
"They were shooting at you."
Lucifer
"But you don't seem surprised."
Lucifer
"What aren't you telling us?"
Lucifer
"MODULATED VOICE: Keep your nose out of our business or else."
Lucifer
"The voice modulator from Arietta's office."
Lucifer
"You should have gone to the police with this."
Lucifer
"I assumed it was Arietta, and I'm not afraid of him."
Lucifer
"But if it's The Spider..."
Lucifer
"Spider?"
Lucifer
"I've heard whispers of another dealer"
Lucifer
"trying to take over Arietta's business."
Lucifer
"People call him "The Spider.""
Lucifer
"Scary, violent reputation."
Lucifer
"Do you know who this Spider is?"
Lucifer
"I don't."
Lucifer
"You're holding something back, Father. I can tell."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Hmm?"
Lucifer
"I have a confession to make."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Finally! Well, the truth"
Lucifer
"will set you free-- isn't that what your beloved book says?"
Lucifer
"I lied when I said Connor was in danger of becoming involved."
Lucifer
"He already is. Dealing for Arietta."
Lucifer
"What, that's it?"
Lucifer
"Oh, please don't tell me"
Lucifer
"that's what you've been holding back all this time."
Lucifer
"Wait. If Connor's already in deep,"
Lucifer
"why go to all this trouble to protect him?"
Lucifer
"He's had it rough."
Lucifer
"Thinks he can only rely on himself."
Lucifer
"He's a good kid, Detective."
Lucifer
"There's still hope for him."
Lucifer
"Father, you were today's target."
Lucifer
"We need to worry about your safety first."
Lucifer
"Do you have a place to stay?"
Lucifer
"We can offer police protection."
Lucifer
"I'm fine right here."
Lucifer
"This... is my sanctuary."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Well, your sanctuary just got shot"
Lucifer
"to high heaven, Padre."
Lucifer
"But if you're looking to lay low,"
Lucifer
"I believe I know just the place."
Lucifer
"(women singing Gregorian chant)"
Lucifer
"♪ Do ya thang, girl ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Do ya thang, girl ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Do ya thang, girl ♪"
Lucifer
"Thought this might make you feel more at home, you know."
Lucifer
"Sure you did."
Lucifer
"Hey."
Lucifer
"(exhales)"
Lucifer
"So, partial plates from the shooter's SUV"
Lucifer
"came back with a couple matches."
Lucifer
"But this is interesting: one of them"
Lucifer
"was recently reported stolen outside the youth center."
Lucifer
"Oh, you think someone inside's responsible."
Lucifer
"I think it's too much of a coincidence not to be,"
Lucifer
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