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Clips from Lucifer - A Priest Walks Into a Bar (S01E01)

"Sounds good."
Lucifer
"- Talk to you later. - Yeah."
Lucifer
"Oh, how's it going, buddy?"
Lucifer
"Malcolm, what are you doing here?"
Lucifer
"Oh, you didn't hear the good news?"
Lucifer
"Back on duty. (sniffs)"
Lucifer
"So soon after, um...?"
Lucifer
"What, my partner's suicide?"
Lucifer
"(exhales)"
Lucifer
"Yeah, can't let that keep me down, am I right?"
Lucifer
"But don't worry. I already got a new partner."
Lucifer
"Yeah, convinced the higher-ups to give me my first choice."
Lucifer
"You."
Lucifer
"Oh, my God."
Lucifer
"Seriously, Dan, you got to try this."
Lucifer
"What's your game, Malcolm?"
Lucifer
"Partners? Are you kidding me?"
Lucifer
"Oh, well, what better way to keep an eye on you, am I right?"
Lucifer
"I saw you talking to Decker."
Lucifer
"You want to tell her, don't you?"
Lucifer
"What, that I'm the one who shot you?"
Lucifer
"Why would I do that?"
Lucifer
"Your conscience."
Lucifer
"I know you, Danny Boy."
Lucifer
"You forget, this ain't the first time we've been partners."
Lucifer
"I looked the other way a few times."
Lucifer
"- That didn't make us partners. - Sure, it did."
Lucifer
"Yeah, and it ate away at you"
Lucifer
"until you finally had enough at Palmetto."
Lucifer
"DAN: I didn't have a choice."
Lucifer
"MALCOLM: No, I-I understand. No, I get it, I get it."
Lucifer
"No, you were just protecting that wife of yours."
Lucifer
"She saw me, I went for my gun."
Lucifer
"Boom. No, you took me out before I could take her out."
Lucifer
"No, no hard feelings."
Lucifer
"I understand."
Lucifer
"But... the minute you want to come clean,"
Lucifer
"you and I-- we both go to jail."
Lucifer
"Hmm?"
Lucifer
"I mean, you... you really want to throw away your marriage?"
Lucifer
"Watch little Trixie grow up from behind bars?"
Lucifer
"Think this through, Dan."
Lucifer
"With you gone, uh, who's gonna protect Chloe?"
Lucifer
"What do you want from me, Malcolm?"
Lucifer
"Nothing much."
Lucifer
"You're gonna go into evidence and borrow something for me."
Lucifer
"Easy peasy lemon squeezy."
Lucifer
"("Voodoo Hack" by Strange Daddy playing)"
Lucifer
"♪ Ghost town on a dirt track ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ I got a yellow moon and a voodoo hack... ♪"
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"Knock, knock."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Stay here while I look for Father Frank,"
Lucifer
"- and don't get into any trouble. - It's a church!"
Lucifer
"What am I gonna do, pray too hard?"
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"Hello."
Lucifer
"WOMAN: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
Lucifer
"It's been three hours since my last confession."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Three hours?"
Lucifer
"Speedy sinner, I like it."
Lucifer
"No, I just need more guidance."
Lucifer
"I'm still having lustful thoughts about another man."
Lucifer
"Splendid."
Lucifer
"Who's the lucky fellow?"
Lucifer
"Um, my husband's limo driver."
Lucifer
"What should I do, Father?"
Lucifer
"Well, my dear, uh, you should embrace your desires."
Lucifer
"Really?"
Lucifer
"Uh, when I was here earlier, Father Frank told me"
Lucifer
"I should be faithful to my husband."
Lucifer
"Well, I don't know why you're listening to that fool."
Lucifer
"I mean, let's be honest, if you wanted to be faithful,"
Lucifer
"then you wouldn't be fantasizing about your limo driver,"
Lucifer
"- now, would you, eh? - You're right."
Lucifer
"No, no, no, no, no, don't feel bad."
Lucifer
"You have those desires for a reason."
Lucifer
"You should act on them."
Lucifer
"I mean, you can always come back here, confess,"
Lucifer
"and all will be forgiven."
Lucifer
"Isn't that how this system of yours works?"
Lucifer
"When you put it that way..."
Lucifer
"Lucifer, what do you think you're doing?"
Lucifer
"(sputters)"
Lucifer
"For your penance, ten Bloody Marys and a good shag."
Lucifer
"I know you're there."
Lucifer
"What, are you watching over me?"
Lucifer
"Like my own guardian angel."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Grumpy guardian angel."
Lucifer
"Forgotten about our deal, Malcolm?"
Lucifer
"Because I brought you back from the dead for a single purpose."
Lucifer
"Yeah, about that, I've... been meaning to ask."
Lucifer
"Why me?"
Lucifer
"- Why you? - Yeah."
Lucifer
"I mean, uh, I must be something special"
Lucifer
"for you to go to all that trouble."
Lucifer
"Come on, don't flatter yourself."
Lucifer
"You're simply in a unique position to do what I need done."
Lucifer
"'Cause I'm a cop."
Lucifer
"That, yeah."
Lucifer
"Yeah, and because I know you'll do anything"
Lucifer
"to avoid going back to Hell."
Lucifer
"Now, stop bothering me with these questions"
Lucifer
"and just get to the task I've given you."
Lucifer
"Don't you worry your shiny little head."
Lucifer
"I'm already on it, all right?"
Lucifer
"Everything's going according to plan."
Lucifer
"Don't keep me waiting."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Patience is not one of my virtues."
Lucifer
"I promise you, I... I got this."
Lucifer
"Mr. Morningstar, surprised to see you again."
Lucifer
"Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world."
Lucifer
"Father Frank, when was the last time you saw Lenny Arietta?"
Lucifer
"This morning."
Lucifer
"Despite the restraining order."
Lucifer
"I answer to a higher authority."
Lucifer
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