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Clips from NewsRadio - Luncheon at the Waldorf (S01E01)

"Shall we?"
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"Oh, I guess we, um, shall."
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"After you."
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"No, after you, Bill."
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"Uh...so you want to go for lunch?"
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"No. I'm not in the mood today."
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"You want to get something to eat then?"
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"Sure."
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"Dave, it's 3:00."
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"So?"
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"So they're still not back yet."
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"Uh-huh. What's 53 x 46?"
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"Don't change the subject."
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"2438."
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"I have every right to be concerned about this."
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"All right, Ma."
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"I guess I'd better go out on the front porch"
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"and wait with my shotgun."
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"Catherine, can I talk to you for a second?"
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"Sure, sweetie."
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"Great. I've noticed a lot of charges in your name"
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"to an account for Cerise."
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"Cerise?"
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"Yeah."
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"No, that doesn't ring a bell, sorry."
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"Are you sure?"
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"Look. It's right here."
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"Oh. Sherizay."
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"That's the salon that does my hair."
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"Oh, um..."
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"okay, maybe this is a stupid question,"
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"but why is the station"
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"paying $200 a visit"
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"for Shezihersay's--"
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"Sherizay."
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"Thank you-- to do your hair?"
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"Sherizay doesn't do my hair."
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"Sherizay's assistant does my hair..."
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"Shavonolooge."
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"Okay, you're making these names up, right?"
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"Well, regardless."
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"if you really need to have your hair done"
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"by Shavellaloo..."
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"Shavonolooge."
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"Zzz..."
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"I'm afraid you're just going to have to pay for it"
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"out of your own pocket."
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"Oh, please."
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"Beth."
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"Dave, can I use your office for a while?"
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"Yeah, sure."
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"Are you okay?"
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"I don't want to talk about it."
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"Beth?"
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"I don't want to talk about it."
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"Bill, what happened?"
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"Huh?"
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"What happened?"
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"Oh, nothing."
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"We had a very nice time."
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"Well, then why did Beth just walk in here"
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"on the verge of tears?"
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"Maybe it was Rush Limbaugh's keynote speech."
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"Women,"
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"they'll cry at anything, right, fellas?"
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"Don't look at me, man."
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"Boo, Bill. Boo."
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"Bill, I want to know what you did to Beth,"
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"and I want to know right now."
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"What exactly are you implying, Lisa?"
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"Well, I am implying--"
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"Okay, stop it, Lisa."
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"Bill didn't do anything."
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"Well, then what happened, Beth?"
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"Bill did not make a pass at me,"
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"Bill did not say anything bad to me."
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"Bill was a perfect gentleman, so just leave him alone, okay?"
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"I'm sorry, Lisa. We were interrupted."
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"You were saying?"
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"I think we all misjudged you, Bill."
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"Yay, Bill. Yay."
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"Well, Lisa, if you and the rest of the vultures"
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"are through feasting on my entrails,"
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"I have a job to do."
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"Boo, Lisa."
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"Boo."
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"LISA: Matthew, shut up."
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"Ooh."
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"Go away. I don't want to talk about it."
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"Come on, Beth."
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"Don't you at least want to tell us what happened?"
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"Look, Lisa,"
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"if Beth doesn't want to talk about it,"
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"we should just respect that, all right?"
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"All right."
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"BETH: Very funny, Dave."
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"Come on, Beth."
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"You can't lie on my couch forever."
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"Okay, I'll talk about it."
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"All right."
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"Okay, the luncheon was really wonderful,"
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"Bill was very nice,"
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"and then on the way back here in the limo--"
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"Wait a minute. Bill had a limo? Dave?"
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"Yeah. He takes them all the time."
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"Anyway, on the way back--"
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"Okay, hold on a second."
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"Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. Great."
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"Okay, all right. All right."
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"So, you're driving in the limo..."
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"And I leaned over and grabbed Bill's head"
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"and shoved my tongue down his throat."
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"Why in the world would you do a thing like that?"
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"Well, I don't know, Dave. It just happened."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Did he kiss you back?"
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"No."
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"Are you sure?"
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"Lisa, it was like his tongue disappeared, okay?"
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"I got nothing but air."
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