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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - What Goes on Tour? (S01E01)

"Okay, band meeting."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Murray, present. Bret, present. - Mm-hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"Jemaine, present. All right,"
Flight of the Conchords
"I haven't got time for your time wasting."
Flight of the Conchords
"Today I've got to move fast."
Flight of the Conchords
"We've got some really good news."
Flight of the Conchords
"We've got our biggest gig ever."
Flight of the Conchords
"Is it the Grand Canyon one?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No, there's no gigs at the Grand Canyon."
Flight of the Conchords
"Wouldn't have to be that big to be our biggest gig ever."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, enough guesses. I'm gonna tell you."
Flight of the Conchords
"- You ready? - Mm-hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"Ah... Central Park."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Central Park? - Yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Really? - Confirmed this morning."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Headlining. - Headlining at Central Park?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yes. - Us?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yes. - Me and Bret?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yes! - Bret as well?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yes, the two of you."
Flight of the Conchords
"As... as you are, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, you've got to be on the top of your game,"
Flight of the Conchords
"which is why I've booked us into a warm-up tour."
Flight of the Conchords
"Here's your itineraries."
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray, you said we couldn't afford to go on tour."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I've said a lot of things in my time, Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"Not all of it's worth listening to,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but let's just say this time around, it is."
Flight of the Conchords
"I've dipped into the Flight of the Conchords emergency fund."
Flight of the Conchords
"What emergency fund?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I'm not really at liberty to say,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but..."
Flight of the Conchords
"okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Where'd you get that from, Murray? - Don't worry about it."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, whose money is it? - I'm not at liberty to say."
Flight of the Conchords
"Just, don't worry about it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray, have you organized a tour before?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yes, of course I have. What do you think this is?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Was it a band tour?"
Flight of the Conchords
"A rugby tour..."
Flight of the Conchords
"I've organized. Same thing."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Not really. - Yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"Players play the game, you guys play the guitar."
Flight of the Conchords
"Don't they? They kick the ball, you kick the... jams."
Flight of the Conchords
"So we have to get up at 7:00 in the morning"
Flight of the Conchords
"and do 200 squat-thrusts?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh no, some of these won't, um, apply to you."
Flight of the Conchords
"Just look for the ones I've... I've crossed out there,"
Flight of the Conchords
"and I've put red pen. Look for the red pen instructions."
Flight of the Conchords
"How big's the bus gonna be? The tour bus?"
Flight of the Conchords
"This is the tour bus, Jemaine."
Flight of the Conchords
"This isn't a tour bus."
Flight of the Conchords
"It says here we're gonna have a tour bus."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, that's the rugby itinerary, isn't it?"
Flight of the Conchords
"All right, there's only two of you."
Flight of the Conchords
"You're not a big rugby team, you don't need a bus."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, I thought we were getting a tour bus."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, that's the rugby itinerary, Bret. All right?"
Flight of the Conchords
"You can see there I've crossed out "bus," haven't I?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, you crossed out "bus," and you wrote "bus.""
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, I got confused there. I didn't know what to do."
Flight of the Conchords
""Honda Accord" was too big to fit in the gap there,"
Flight of the Conchords
"so I put "bus" back in."
Flight of the Conchords
"I knew as soon as I wrote it, there'd be some sort of controversy."
Flight of the Conchords
"Let me tell you a little secret, Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"You'll like this."
Flight of the Conchords
"Sometimes late at night when I'm driving alone,"
Flight of the Conchords
"I imagine this is a bus."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah? - Yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"Is that... a bit silly, is it, Bret?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- No, that's cool. - Is it?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Mmm. - I thought you'd like that."
Flight of the Conchords
"- So you're the bus driver? - Yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"That's cool."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Shelly. - Oh, how's Shelly?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I thought you were separated."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, we're back together, remember?"
Flight of the Conchords
"You asked me why I was crying."
Flight of the Conchords
"I said it was the happiest day of my life."
Flight of the Conchords
"You don't remember that?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm, no."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, sweetheart. How are you?"
Flight of the Conchords
"What?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Uh, no, it was an emergency."
Flight of the Conchords
"Look, it's a temporary withdrawal from the checking fund, all right?"
Flight of the Conchords
"The savings should be okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"Right. No, yeah, okay, so I..."
Flight of the Conchords
"I transferred most of the savings into the checking account."
Flight of the Conchords
"But look, it's just temporary, all right?"
Flight of the Conchords
"We'll get it back. Don't worry."
Flight of the Conchords
"We'II... we will. We will get it back."
Flight of the Conchords
"We'll get it back, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"We will!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Say hi from me."
Flight of the Conchords
"What? No."
Flight of the Conchords
"Look, Shelly,"
Flight of the Conchords
"those two effing idiots are good friends of mine, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"And no, they're not... it's nothing to do with them, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm not even managing them anymore."
Flight of the Conchords
"Look, I've got to go. Bret says hi."
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, ages ago when I last saw him."
Flight of the Conchords
"All right? All right, bye-bye."
Flight of the Conchords
"Is everything all right, Murray?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Absolutely, yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"That reminds me... Jemaine?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Jemaine?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Are your immigration papers up to date?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, that's your job to check our immigration papers."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I don't know. - Yeah, right, well anyway..."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm just wondering 'cause there's been a car tailing us"
Flight of the Conchords
"for the last hour."
Flight of the Conchords
"It's probably Mel stalking us."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, hey, guys!"
Flight of the Conchords
"What a coincidence!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Ha ha!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, Mel."
Flight of the Conchords
"What time do we take off?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- What do you mean? - What time's our flight?"
Flight of the Conchords
"We're not flying anywhere."
Flight of the Conchords
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