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Clips from Scrubs - My First Day (S01E01)

"I've always been able to sleep through anything."
Scrubs
"Storms, sirens, you name it. Last night, I didn't sleep."
Scrubs
"I guess I get a little goofy when I'm nervous."
Scrubs
"You see, today isn't just any other day."
Scrubs
"It's my first day."
Scrubs
"I'm the man."
Scrubs
"Three years of pre-med and four years of med school"
Scrubs
"have made me realise one thing..."
Scrubs
"Could you drop an NG tube on the patient in 234"
Scrubs
"and then call the attending?"
Scrubs
"...I don't know Jack."
Scrubs
"So this is my story."
Scrubs
"- I'm supposed to be in intensive care. - We just turfed him there."
Scrubs
"I became a doctor to help people, but orientation yesterday"
Scrubs
"didn't really focus on patient care."
Scrubs
"The hospital doesn't wanna be sued."
Scrubs
"Being sued is not a good thing."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Turk? - What's up?"
Scrubs
"You know how I'm down with the rap music?"
Scrubs
"Dude, be whiter."
Scrubs
"Chris Turk's my best friend. We roomed together in college and med school."
Scrubs
"We even got accepted by the same hospital."
Scrubs
"Here's the thing. Tupac, DMX, Dr Dre,"
Scrubs
"in most of their songs, they use an extremely volatile racial slur."
Scrubs
"- The ''N'' word. - I got it."
Scrubs
"My question is this: if we're both singing along,"
Scrubs
"and I would never use the word otherwise,"
Scrubs
"- am I allowed to say... - No."
Scrubs
"That's good for me to know."
Scrubs
"Finally, doctors, if there is a mistake, don't admit it to the patient."
Scrubs
"Of course, if the patient is deceased, and you're sure,"
Scrubs
"you can feel free to tell him or her anything."
Scrubs
"I found us an apartment."
Scrubs
"OK, gang, I'm Dr Bob Kelso, and I'm your Chief of Medicine,"
Scrubs
"so I just want to encourage you all to think of me as your safety net."
Scrubs
"Because I promise you, we're a family here."
Scrubs
"Now, then, go get 'em, doctors."
Scrubs
"The surgical interns are gonna go grab a beer."
Scrubs
"The medical interns are having a Pac-Man tournament. We're all twelve."
Scrubs
"I love Pac-Man."
Scrubs
"Me, too. I love watching it, I love playing it, I love all of it."
Scrubs
"- I'm Elliot. - Ell-i-ot."
Scrubs
"Don't do that."
Scrubs
"I'm JD. This is Turk."
Scrubs
"Are you medical or surgical?"
Scrubs
"Medical."
Scrubs
"Hello."
Scrubs
"Every male in my family is a doctor. That's why Dad gave me a guy's name,"
Scrubs
"made me play sports, date girls. Joking."
Scrubs
"I know. I would've laughed if you'd paused."
Scrubs
"I know what you're thinking."
Scrubs
"Your butt looks like two Pringles hugging."
Scrubs
"- No, you don't. - I'm Miss ''Hyper-Competitive.''"
Scrubs
"It used to be a big problem for me. Used to. Past tense."
Scrubs
"Are we racing?"
Scrubs
"Yes!"
Scrubs
"I'm not that desperate."
Scrubs
"No!"
Scrubs
"You do a lot of cardio?"
Scrubs
"Oh, yes."
Scrubs
"Elliot Reid? John Dorian? Great."
Scrubs
"One, I am your resident, Dr Jeffrey Steadman. Not ''Jeff'."
Scrubs
"Two, here are your manuals."
Scrubs
"Notice how quickly people make an impression?"
Scrubs
"I am a tool. I am a tool. I am a tool, tool, tool."
Scrubs
"- An unbelievably annoying tool. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"These are your beepers. From now on, they control your life."
Scrubs
"Thanks. Move it."
Scrubs
"Back to today."
Scrubs
"- I was paged. - First day, Bambi?"
Scrubs
"Don't look at me when we're moving someone."
Scrubs
"Why?"
Scrubs
"- We're waiting for Dr Cox. - Hi, doctor..."
Scrubs
"- Place an IV for me. - We'll talk later."
Scrubs
"Carla, do you spray the perfume on or fill your bathtub up"
Scrubs
"- and splash around in it? - I smell nice."
Scrubs
"You've done this to cadavers. He's alive."
Scrubs
"Poke it through his skin. Now!"
Scrubs
"Time's up. Carla, will you do it for him?"
Scrubs
"- Why tell her? - Shut up and watch."
Scrubs
"Be nice to Bambi."
Scrubs
"Why's he got to try and die every day during my lunch?"
Scrubs
"That's insensitive."
Scrubs
"Mistake."
Scrubs
"Man's 92, has dementia, doesn't know we're here."
Scrubs
"He is inches from Carla's rack and hasn't flinched."
Scrubs
"- That is so sweet. - Yeah, it is."
Scrubs
"What about his subconscious?"
Scrubs
"Eisenhower was a sissy."
Scrubs
"I think we're gonna be OK."
Scrubs
"From now on, whenever I'm in the room,"
Scrubs
"you're definitely not allowed to talk."
Scrubs
"Dr Dorian, can you tell me what ailment most often..."
Scrubs
"Rounds is like being on a game show."
Scrubs
"What is uraemia?"
Scrubs
"That's my boy. Nice clean job on the Foley catheter."
Scrubs
"I had a nurse do it. I'm still afraid to touch anybody."
Scrubs
"I've been thinking a lot about Elliot. A whole lot."
Scrubs
"Dr Reid, you're late."
Scrubs
"I got puked on."
Scrubs
"You're off the hook if you can tell me what to look for in a uraemic patient."
Scrubs
"Anyway, I'm going for it."
Scrubs
"- Infection. - Infection?"
Scrubs
"That's my girl."
Scrubs
"Moving on."
Scrubs
"- I knew the answer. - I'm sure you did."
Scrubs
"- I'm just frazzled. - How could you not be?"
Scrubs
"If there's anything I can do for you..."
Scrubs
"You could let me take you to dinner tomorrow night."
Scrubs
"Around seven?"
Scrubs
"Or eight?"
Scrubs
"Why not?"
Scrubs
"Nice!"
Scrubs
"''Why not?'' That's what she said."
Scrubs
"''Why not?''"
Scrubs
"Daddy, why did you marry Mommy?"
Scrubs
"Tiger, I gave her an answer during rounds"
Scrubs
"and she screwed my brains out."
Scrubs
"You're the man."
Scrubs
"What the hell are you doing?"
Scrubs
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