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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Happy Borthday (S10E10)

"-Yes way. -Cyril."
Archer
"Shut your fat mouth! I get Krieger!"
Archer
"-Excuse me? -I..."
Archer
"No, I mean, come on. I called dibs."
Archer
"-Well then, I get Ms. Archer. -Aw, man."
Archer
"Well, as much as I'd like to see you idiots"
Archer
"stomp each other's heads in..."
Archer
"-Perhaps another time. -Ho-ho."
Archer
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
Archer
"To rescue Sterling and get off this rock."
Archer
"Plus, there has to be a bar around here."
Archer
"Oh, no you don't."
Archer
"-Whoop! -Ow!"
Archer
"-[singsongy]: Toodles. -[laughing]"
Archer
"-Okay, I pick you. -Bring it."
Archer
"Oh, I will. I'm bringing extra."
Archer
"So, Cheryl and Lana, Cyril and me,"
Archer
"and where does that leave Pam?"
Archer
"As the loneliest gal at the Monsters' Ball."
Archer
"-[chuckles] -[laughs]: Ooh!"
Archer
"[clears throat] Krieger, want to swap with me?"
Archer
"-Yep, yep, yep. -Wait, what?"
Archer
"[chuckles] Oh, man, this is gonna be so gross."
Archer
"[soft whimper] What is?"
Archer
"Cleaning your nuts out"
Archer
"-from between my toes. -BOTH: Ew."
Archer
"-[gulps] -Yeah."
Archer
"You better gulp nervously."
Archer
"Lana, do something."
Archer
"Okay, okay."
Archer
"Me and Carol,"
Archer
"-Cyril and Krieger... -Yes."
Archer
"Then those two winners fight, and then I guess"
Archer
"Pam gets that winner."
Archer
"Aw. We're all winners in my book."
Archer
"And I guess just try to make your fights look real,"
Archer
"and maybe that'll buy us some time"
Archer
"to come up with a planto get out of this crazy place."
Archer
"[Archer screaming]"
Archer
"[gasps] That's Sterling."
Archer
"Come on, already! What are you, hourly?"
Archer
"-[ice clinking] -I am, actually."
Archer
"[screaming]"
Archer
"[panting]"
Archer
"Please don't do tha... [screaming]"
Archer
"[panting] Please."
Archer
"I can't take any more."
Archer
"But Funbeak has so much more to give."
Archer
"-[grunts] -That was a joke."
Archer
"Ha ha ha ha ha."
Archer
"Listen, listen... listen to me."
Archer
"You guys seriously have to work on your delivery."
Archer
"Funbeak will try again. Did you hear the one"
Archer
"about the human with no penis?"
Archer
"No."
Archer
"Wait. Hang on. Funbeak messed it up."
Archer
"Uh... hang on. Uh... o-okay."
Archer
"-So... -[electrical sputtering]"
Archer
"[glass shatters]"
Archer
"-Duh. -FUNBEAK: Hey."
Archer
"-Mother? -Sterling. Are you all right?"
Archer
"[soft chuckle] I'm not great."
Archer
"Who are you and what are you doing?"
Archer
"Well, I was drinking a surprisingly good martini,"
Archer
"but now it seems I'll have to settle for"
Archer
"whipping the ass off of some robot cereal mascot."
Archer
"Funbeak will..."
Archer
"destroy you."
Archer
"[screeches]"
Archer
"Bring it, bird."
Archer
"[screeches]"
Archer
"[laughs] Holy shit."
Archer
"This is literally a dream come true."
Archer
"Which, unfortunately,"
Archer
"turns super sexual."
Archer
"[screeches]"
Archer
"ARCHER: Will you quit screwing around?"
Archer
"MALORY'S VOICE: Oh, you're just jealous."
Archer
"That you zapped yourself into the CPU"
Archer
"of the world's ugliest bird?"
Archer
"You're crazy. I'm gorgeous."
Archer
"-Will you... -[door whooshes open]"
Archer
"-How we doing, gang? -Oh, um, uh..."
Archer
"[robotic voice]:Subject is still uncooperative."
Archer
"Well, are you zapping his dick like I told you?"
Archer
"-Yes. -All right."
Archer
"-Let me see. -As you wish."
Archer
"Whoa, whoa, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no..."
Archer
"-[screaming] -[whoops] Yeah."
Archer
"[chuckles] How 'bout it, bud?"
Archer
"Ready to tell me the combination to the safe?"
Archer
"[panting] No."
Archer
"All right. Well, I'm gonna go"
Archer
"watch his nutwipe buddies try to kill each other, so..."
Archer
"Wait, wait, wait. What?"
Archer
"Yeah, gladiator fights."
Archer
"Okay, Funbeak, keep it upwith the ol' weenie roast here."
Archer
"Weenie roast-- that is a good one. LOL."
Archer
"It was good."
Archer
"And my delivery's fine."
Archer
"[door whooshes open]"
Archer
"[door clanks shut]"
Archer
"Okay, now cut me out of here."
Archer
"[normal voice]: First tell me what's in the safe."
Archer
"In the what? Nothing. What are you..."
Archer
"I was just trying to buy some time."
Archer
"Uh-huh."
Archer
"Now let's go find the shuttle"
Archer
"and get the hell out of this dump."
Archer
"Whoa, wait, what about the others?"
Archer
"Oh... they'll be fine."
Archer
"Aah!"
Archer
"Cyril, no, no, no, no, no!"
Archer
"ALL: Holy shit."
Archer
"Ooh."
Archer
"More like Isaac Assholimov, am I right?"
Archer
"I'm right."
Archer
"Oh, man. He's cut in half and still talking smack."
Archer
"Give it up for him."
Archer
"-[crowd boos] -Hey, shut up."
Archer
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