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Clips from The Office - Basketball (S01E01)

"Hey you're ready?"
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"All right, all right, secret sign."
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"Hey, Ryan? very good,"
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"excellent, excellent."
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"Michael!"
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"Today at lunchtime we're going to be playing the warehouse staff in a"
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"friendly little game of basketball."
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"My idea. The last time I was down there I noticed they put up a couple of hoops."
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"And I play basketball every week-end,"
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"so I thought "This might be kind of fun". And so I started messing around,"
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"and, I'm sinking a few, you know swish swish swish,"
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"nothing but net! And their jaws just drop to the floor."
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"African Americans!"
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"You know it's really just a good friendly game,"
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"a reason for everybody to get together."
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"Pam Pam thank you Ma'am. Messages please there you go."
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"Michael can I talk to you for a second please?"
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"Privately, in your office?"
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"- I think I should be on the team. - No."
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"And that's not me being mean Dwight,"
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"- that is based on your past behavior. - Oh please."
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"- When I let him come to my pick up game... - I apologized for that."
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"I vouched for you, I vouched for you in front of Todd Packer, Dwight."
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"Here's what I'm going to do. The hand strikes and gives a flower."
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"You are not going to play basketball,"
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"but I need somebody to come in,"
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"and take over the holiday and weekend work calendar."
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"- I can handle that. - Good."
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"- Excellent, it'll be fun, - Yeah."
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"because corporate wants somebody to be here on Saturday,"
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"so we're going to have to have a couple of people coming in on the weekends,"
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"and I know nobody's going to want to do it, everybody's going to complain and bitch and,"
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"I don't want to have to deal with that."
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"That's why you have an assistant regional manager."
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"Yes it is."
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"- Assistant to the regional manager. - Same thing."
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"- No it's not. It's lower so. - It's close."
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"So we need someone to work this Saturday, and I think that that should be..."
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"Jim."
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"God this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power"
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"I've ever seen go to someone's head."
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"- Phyllis, can you believe this? - Keep me out of it."
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"My fiancÈ has plans for us this Saturday"
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"so I really hope Dwight doesn't make me work."
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"Maybe I should sleep with him."
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"I'm kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding."
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"All right, managing by walking around!"
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"This is our warehouse, or as I like to call it, the whorehouse."
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"But don't you call it that,"
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"- I've earned the right. - Fine, don't worry about that."
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"And here we have "Miter' Roger's neighborhood"."
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"Come on over here, hey,"
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"- This is Ryan he's temping upstairs. - What's up?"
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"- And this is the foreman, "Miter' Rogers". - It's not my real name."
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"No, it's Darryl, Darryl is "Miter' Rogers"."
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"- Darryl Rogers. - Darryl Filben,"
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"then Bridges, then Rige, then Roger, then Miter' Rogers."
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"That is Lonny and this is Roy, Roy dates Pam,"
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"- you know the best looking one upstairs. - Yeah yeah."
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"You're still getting it regular man?"
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"I mean I can tell her it's part of the job."
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"Repel her."
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"No no I know that the warrantee is expired,"
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"but isn't it supposed to last longer than two years, if it isn't effective?"
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"Ok fine three years."
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"Pam gets a little down. Her toaster having broke,"
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"which she got at her engagement shower,"
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"for a wedding that still has yet to be set."
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"And that was three years ago."
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"So, one o clock sharp, and we've got a game on."
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"Well none at one!"
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"Oh I see, you're chickening out, you're bailing on me."
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"No we got a truck going out at one fifteen so, that's a busy time."
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"Well, I'm glad that sometime is a busy time because whenever I'm down here,"
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"It doesn't seem too busy to me."
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"You can dish it out but you can't take it."
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"Ok, fine, have it your way."
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"All right fine, you know what?"
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"- One o clock. - All right, see you at one."
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"Are we ready for the game?"
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"I know, grumble grumble,"
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"but you would follow me to the ends of the earth grumbling all the way."
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"Like that dwarf, from "Lord of the Rings"."
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"- Gimli. - Nerd."
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"- That is why you're not on the team. - Just trying to be helpful."
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"Oh, elven dragon slayer. Ten point power sword."
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"That's him."
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"Ok, so let's put together the starting lineup shall we?"
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"- Stanley, of course. - I'm sorry?"
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"- What do you play, center? - Why of course?"
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"What's that supposed to mean?"
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"I don't know, I don't remember saying that."
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"- I heard it. - People hear a lot of things, man."
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"Other starters... me of course. I heard it that time."
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"I'd like to play, if it's just for fun. I played basketball in school."
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"Uh, yeah, who else?"
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"We have Jim, we have Ryan, the new guy, right untested,"
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"willing to prove himself right now, lot of passion, lot of heart..."
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"But I'm getting paid to skip lunch right?"
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"Yes. But I'm getting paid to skip lunch right?"
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"But I'm getting paid to skip lunch right?"
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"Yes, this is business. The business of team building and moral boosting."
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"- Uh, who else? - I can help out if you need me."
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"I will use your talents come baseball season my friend, or if we box."
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"- I have a hoop in my drive way. - No."
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"I have sport's bra. No, no! Ridiculous."
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"Michael look!"
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"Close all right. Me, Stan the man, Jim, Ryan and Dwight. Sorry fellows."
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"- Can I be team captain? - No I'm team captain."
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"- Can I be team manager? - No I am the team manager,"
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"- you can be assistant to the team manager. - Assistant team manager?"
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"No. - you can be assistant to the team manager. - Assistant team manager?"
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"Ok we'll see who is working this weekend then."
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"Jim, you're in charge of the vacation's schedule now."
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"Oh my god..."
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"Threat neutralized."
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"Off the backboard!"
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"- Please don't throw a garbage at me. - Oh Pam with this anger."
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"Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today?"
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"You know, some pink tails,"
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