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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - Death of a Salesdude (S06E06)

"- Oh, heads up, Jillian. Coffee is for closers."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Well, I don't even drink coffee."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Mm, well, actually, sweetheart, bagels--"
Workaholics (2011)
"also for closers."
Workaholics (2011)
"Mmm. That's not very good."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Sugar-free vanilla creamer, also for--"
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm sorry, I don't remember your name,"
Workaholics (2011)
"but I think you know what I was about to say,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and the word is "closers.""
Workaholics (2011)
"- All right, everyone, come and have a seat, please."
Workaholics (2011)
"- It's for closers. - Yeah, we're closers, so..."
Workaholics (2011)
"- All right, everyone, we have a very special guest today."
Workaholics (2011)
"Let me introduce Sigourney."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Thank you, Alice. - You're welcome."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Hi, everybody. I'm Sigourney Goulet."
Workaholics (2011)
"Most of you know me as the product rep from MenCo."
Workaholics (2011)
"For years, we've had products such as..."
Workaholics (2011)
"men's intimacy endurance spray."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, we are going to just throw all of that in the trash..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Because today we're no longer MenCo."
Workaholics (2011)
"We are now..."
Workaholics (2011)
"FemCo! - Huh?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- The future leaders in feminine retail."
Workaholics (2011)
"- That's right, ladies, huh?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- And the very first product that we're gonna bring to market"
Workaholics (2011)
"is the Boobillow."
Workaholics (2011)
"The Boobillow is an ergonomic wedge-shaped pillow"
Workaholics (2011)
"that allows very large-breasted women"
Workaholics (2011)
"to sleep comfortably on their stomachs."
Workaholics (2011)
"- [clears throat] - Yes?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Hi, um, question--"
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"just to be clear... - Yes."
Workaholics (2011)
"- So you're telling us we are allowed to call women"
Workaholics (2011)
"and talk to them about their breasts?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Well, yes, but when dealing with a sensitive subject--"
Workaholics (2011)
"[all cheering] - Cool!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- We finally get to talk titties at work."
Workaholics (2011)
"- All right! - Yeah, baby!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Dude, I'm gonna call my dad. - You got to. You have to."
Workaholics (2011)
"I'm gonna try to contact my father."
Workaholics (2011)
"[The Skinny Boys' "Jockbox"]"
Workaholics (2011)
"- * I'm fresh"
Workaholics (2011)
"* You gotta, we gotta, you gotta *"
Workaholics (2011)
"* Gotta be fresh"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Dudes, dudes, dudes, check it out."
Workaholics (2011)
"I got a girl on here who wants to buy two Boobillows--"
Workaholics (2011)
"One for her and one for her sister with back issues."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Hey, that lady's back issue is giving me a front issue"
Workaholics (2011)
"that's gonna require a ton of tissue."
Workaholics (2011)
"[laughter]"
Workaholics (2011)
"- I get it. Like ejaculation. - Yeah, to clean up."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh, dude, that is funny, dude!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yes, um, what size are your breasts?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Are we talking kumquats or grapefruits?"
Workaholics (2011)
"And be honest. You're on speakerphone."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hello? - Hello?"
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"- What you working with, girl? [line clicks, dial tone]"
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"- Okay, I think I lost her."
Workaholics (2011)
"[laughter] Lost another one!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- We're gonna lose many more."
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"- Oh, I thought it was gonna break."
Workaholics (2011)
"Oh, man, yesterday was so frickin' awesome, right?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. - I love my job."
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"I love my life, and dare I say I love my friends?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh, man, I love you right back."
Workaholics (2011)
"Dude, I got a girl's number yesterday."
Workaholics (2011)
"- What? - Yeah, from my list of leads."
Workaholics (2011)
"- But you got it. - Yeah, and I texted it."
Workaholics (2011)
"And now it's just a waiting game."
Workaholics (2011)
"[indistinct chatter]"
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"- Hey, guys, over here..."
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"now."
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"Well... [sighs]"
Workaholics (2011)
"You guys were all terrible yesterday--"
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"awkward, creepy, and with total sales of zero."
Workaholics (2011)
"Luckily, all the saleswomen in the office killed it."
Workaholics (2011)
"So that's why I'm transferring more women"
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"from other departments to take over your call lists."
Workaholics (2011)
"- First they take "Ghostbusters," now our phones?"
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"- Okay, Alice, what are we supposed to do, then, huh?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- From this point on, all men are support staff."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Okay, well, she's lucky I don't have my bo staff."
Workaholics (2011)
"- I'm sorry. What was that?"
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"- Nothing. - Yeah."
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"- I'm sure--he was-- what you were trying to say was,"
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"like, if these were guy-centric products, right,"
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"we'd be selling the crap out of them, Alice."
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"It's just this stuff, we don't--"
Workaholics (2011)
"Can I have one moment? - No."
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"- Just give me one moment. - No--Don't touch me. Fine."
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"- Just give me one moment. - Ugh."
Workaholics (2011)
"- I just want a moment. We just want one moment."
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"What moment are we doing?"
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"- We're gonna do... - We're doing that?"
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"- [whispering] Yes, it's fine."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Premature ejaculation"
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"is the number-one problem facing the American penis today."
Workaholics (2011)
"But with the male intimacy endurance spray,"
Workaholics (2011)
"just spritz your member four times..."
Workaholics (2011)
"[bottle spraying]"
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"- Close it down. Get underneath."
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"- And I guess it'll take a few seconds to kick in."
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"- He just touched his ding-dong. - Ticktock, ticktock."
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"Adam, go ahead and kick me in the dads."
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"It's show-and-tell, baby. - Really?"
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"- Yeah, man, we're selling these people."
Workaholics (2011)
"MenCo."
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"[groans] - Ow, you spit your gum."
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"That was awesome. That was cool."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Another satisfied customer."
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"- I'd like to give it a shot. - [grunts loudly]"
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"- [laughing]"
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"I'm left-handed."
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"- [straining] And I'm all good. I'm fine."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Dragon Punch! Dragon Punch!"
Workaholics (2011)
"[bell dings on cell phone] Whoa."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Whoa, did you time out that ding?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- No, I think somebody got a text."
Workaholics (2011)
"- That was incredible! - Put them on vibrate, please."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah, put them on vibrate. This is a presentation."
Workaholics (2011)
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