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Clips from Cheaper by the Dozen

"[ Rock ]"
Cheaper by the Dozen
"Good morning, Tom."
Cheaper by the Dozen
"[ Woman Narrating ] Twelve is our number."
Cheaper by the Dozen
"It's the number of games my husband Tom coaches at Lincoln College every season."
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"It's the number of times we zero out our bank account each year to make ends meet."
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"And it's the number of kids we try to keep track of."
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"- [ Sighs ] - Hey. Good run?"
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"Oh, yeah. [ Groans ]"
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"You need a paramedic?"
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"No, just a pair of knees. You finish?"
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"Still proofing, but I'm sending it to Diane today."
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"Look at this. New, clean cover..."
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"no peanut butter stains... yet."
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"- Hey, baby? - Baby?"
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"You know, on the run, you know what I was thinking?"
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"What?"
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"Well, we've been married, what, five years?"
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"- Twenty-three. - [ Groans ] Twenty-three. Sorry."
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"And I think we could use a little change around here..."
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"like-like this lumpy old mattress."
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"- Maybe we should just, you know, get rid of it. - [ Giggling ]"
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"Don't be ridiculous, honey. You know you can just pound the lumps out of a mattress."
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"What-What do you mean? You can just pound the lumps out of a mattress?"
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"Yeah, just randomly start swatting away."
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"- And it goes flat? - Yes, yes."
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"Just start-- You just randomly start swatting--"
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"[ Shouting, Laughing ]"
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"Careful."
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"- I got a dog on me! - [ Woman Narrating ] Twelve's an insane number of kids..."
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"but having a small family was never an option for us."
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"See, Tom loved growing up with seven brothers and sisters."
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"And after my sister died, I spent most of my time..."
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"wishing I had seven brothers and sisters."
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"Tom and I met at Illinois Polytechnic University."
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"He was a senior dreaming of becoming the head football coach there."
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"I was a freshman dreaming of becoming a sports reporter."
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"He wanted eight kids, I wanted eight kids. Bam."
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"An hour after I met him, I knew he was the one."
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"We just had family at the wedding."
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"Oh, and Shake Maguire, Tom's best man."
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"What a hot dog."
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"A year later, we had our first-- Nora."
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"I loved taking her to work with me."
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"After Charlie and Lorraine were born, we realized our dream of living in the city..."
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"- and having eight kids and two careers wasn't gonna work. - [ Baby Crying ]"
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"As much as we wanted our big careers, we wanted our big family more."
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"So Tom settled for a Division III coaching job at Lincoln..."
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"I quit writing for the Tribune, and we moved to the country."
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"Tom and I got busy when we moved to Midland."
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"We had Henry, Sarah, Jake and Mark in consecutive years."
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"Then we went for magic number eight, and instead..."
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"we got the first set of fraternal twins--Jessica and Kim."
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"- Nine kids. - Come on, you guys. Come on."
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"Wave! Hi!"
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"[ Cheering ]"
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"With each child, Tom and I got further from our big career dreams."
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"But we didn't think about that."
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"- [ Whistle Blowing ] - [ Yelling ] Yeah!"
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"Oh. Sorry, Coach."
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"We had our hands full with nine. We were happy, and we were done."
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"Then we went to a party celebrating Shake Maguire's appointment..."
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"to athletic director at our alma mater."
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"And, well, too many beers and nine months later, we had Mike."
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"After that, Tom got a vasectomy."
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"But he didn't hear the doctor say that it would be a few weeks..."
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"before the procedure became effective."
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"In '98, Nigel and Kyle got us to that crazy number 1 2."
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"But by then, Tom and I were experts at managing chaos."
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"- [ Karate Yells ] - Let's move, gang. Come on, come on, come on!"
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"- Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo! - Charlie missed his curfew again last night. Take care of that."
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"Hey."
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"You can only put on so much lip gloss, princess!"
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"- [ Sighs ] You blew my concentration! - [ Tom ] Temper, Sarah."
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"Now I get to start all over again."
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"- Wrap it up, Lorraine! - [ Lorraine ] Okay, Daddy.!"
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"- [ Yelling, Grunting ] - Have you seen my frog, Dad?"
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"Sorry, Charlie. Uh, Nigel. Kyle."
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"- It's Mark. - I knew that."
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"Hey, teenager. You got caught on Mom radar last night."
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"You're not gonna get that scholarship if you're out late with Beth..."
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"the night before a big game."
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"Well, I'm not so sure I even want to go to college."
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"Since when?"
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"Since Beth's mom offered me a job at the auto shop."
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"Hmm. Sounds exciting."
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"Well, we'll talk about that after you get your full ride."
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"And, meanwhile, in by 1 0:00 on school nights. Clear?"
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"- Got it. - Anything else you wanna talk about?"
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"Did I mention I don't like you very much?"
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"- Yeah, you mentioned that. - Then I'm good."
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"- Okay, me too. - [ Chuckles ]"
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"Dude, two words: need new skates."
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"Dude, three words: paper route."
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"- Have you seen Beans, Mom? - Mm-mm."
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"- [ Nigel ] Here you go, Gunner. - [ Kyle ] You hungry, boy?"
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"[ Woman Singing ]"
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"Here you go, Gunner. Are you hungry?"
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"Look, I am totally aware that this family doesn't value..."
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"self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do."
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"Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals..."
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"aside from being, like, a fashion guru..."
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"is to indicate to the local community that..."
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"the Baker family actually owns a bar of soap."
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"So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene..."
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"I think I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror."
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"- Three. - Done."
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"Now help your sister butter the toast."
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"Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted."
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"So you're going today. Henry, you have band practice, all right?"
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"I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again."
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"Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request..."
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"that you do not correct her in front of the class."
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"Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And, please, honey..."
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"remember that body parts do not count."
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"Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at 3:00. You're goin' to work with Dad."
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"[ Together] Yeah!"
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"- [ Both Yelling ] - [ Yelling ]"
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"- And we're shooting our Christmas card today. - [ Sighs ]"
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"- What time's Nora coming over? - Uh, she may not make it."
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"She hardly ever comes home since she started dating that doorknob."
Cheaper by the Dozen
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